Am i doing the right thing? and how do i know?

Question

im 21, and in my last year at university, i have been with my boyfriend 10months and ive just found out i am 5 weeks pregnant, i think i want to keep it, but i am so scared and im not sure whether i am mature enough to have a baby, how do i know that im doing the right thing, help im scared!!!!?

Answer 1

Love is a choice. Success at anything is a choice. Committment is a choice.

If you choose to stop at nothing to be the mother of your child you can be, then you are certainly making the right choice.

Everyone second guesses their abilities, but its that voice in the back of your head that says "its okay, i WILL make this work" that proves whether or not you will.

Answer 2

Right. Having a baby at any age is a challenge, patience tested, hard work, but it is the most rewarding thing you can ever achieve. I am just a few months short of turning 30 and I have a 7 month old baby. I have a degree, a good job, and have had some fantastic jobs - not one is as life fulfilling as a baby of your own - the smile, different stages they go through - yes it is hard work, you get sleep deprived (I work shift hours so I know), but determination and the love of your child and the love for your child will always get you through things - because you have to, and because you want to. I thought before I had a baby that I was organised, but it was only after I had my baby that I realised that I can be far more organised than I have ever been - you do better yourself by having a child, no doubt. You have a degree (almost), that speaks for itself, you want to achieve things in life. Make sure you finish the degree, for yourself and for the baby. Whether you have a baby now or in 10 years time, the time will be taken out from your career to raise a child, thats innevitable. If you have the funds, and feel that you can love this baby like you have never loved anybody, go for it, nothing will stop you juggling motherhood and a career, again speaking from experience. You have to bear in mind that going out etc will have to cease for the time being as you will have a responsibility, and also this needs to be considered by both you and your partner. You have an important decision to make, but think carefully. The world doesn't end when you have kids - you just have to have an action plan, and know how you are going to get to the goal. I am working, have a supportive husband - life is never easy, but is it ever? You will have a lot of challenges in life and you will deal with them. This is just one of many. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Answer 3

We'll thats a hard call because you havent been together that long, will he stay do you want to raise the child on your own, if he did leave, are you financially stable ask yourself those questions and figure out what you would like to do, I'll tell i am only 24 i have 3 kids one is 5 one is 16 months and they other is 6 months the first child the father left i managed on my own it wasnt easy at time but i did it, the last two im with the father we had our first chil after only being together for 3 months we now have been together for almost 3 years and married so you know things do work out when it seems to soon, im sure youll make the best decision either way it is scary but im sure you will be a great mom and if you decided that you didnt want to keep it we'll thats ok too its all your decision and some his too. You'll make the right choice for yourself no matter what you decide good luck to you.

Answer 4

You are only as mature as you think you are. I had my son at 19 it was the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me and I can't wait for another one. When you look into your beautiful baby's eyes and they look back the feeling in your heart will tell you it is the right thing. You will be able to finish school if you are determined, and the best thing for your baby is to be loved by you. It is an amazing adventure you are about to go through. With every new thing more precious then the last. I don't want to sound cheesy, but everything I said is true. You can do it! Good luck!

Answer 5

If you google the Marie Stopes clinic they have an on line counselling questionnaire type thing you could try to help you decide. I know it's a really scary time. It's prob the hardest decision you will ever have to make. Only you can know in your heart what is right. If you decide to go ahead I'm not saying it's easy but it doesn't come without rewards ie. first smile first words etc. You will also mature very quickly an adapt to things. I wish you the best of luck if you need a chat feel free to mail me. I had my son at 20 an I have no regrets.

Answer 6

Good for you for wanting to keep your baby. Pregnancy is a beautiful and sometimes scary thing. You should find a Pregnancy Center near you, not Planned Parenthood and they will help you through your pregnancy. If you don't think your mature enough to have a baby there is the adoption option. Think about what's best for your baby, if you don't think you could provide the care he/she would need then consider adoption there are tons of loving families that would love to raise your child and could give him/her the care they need. You also need to discuss this with your boyfriend it's his child too, but don't let anyone talk you out of having your baby that is your decision alone. Many prayers and blessings for you and your baby.

Answer 7

Dont do anything you would regret. I had a friend who was 20 and she was 2 months pregnantwhen her and her bf decided to have an abortion, and ever since she regrets it cause likes she tells me her cousin has alittle girl who is the age her baby would have been, and it hurts her alot, but now she thinks cause of that she cant get pregnant.
I was 19 when i first find out i was pregnant, 20 when i had her. i thought i wasnt mature but u know what it just happens. so make the right choice. You will have to live with it the rest of your life.

Answer 8

I was 18 when I had my first child, everyone feels they are not mature enough to raise a child, that is a fear of every expecting mother. Even when I was expecting our second child I still felt like that. You will get over that babies change people most of the time for the good and most of the time people mature when going through the pregnancy. Good Luck.

Answer 9

if you think you might regret having an abortion or having the child adopted then make the choice to keep it. there is no need for you or the child to suffer poverty, whether your boyfriend decides to stick by you or not. you're now in your last year at uni and will therefore not be due to give birth until the end of your year. plenty of women work until they are nearly due. and you can then use your degree when you feel ready to get a good job....so it can be done.

good luck with your descision and i hope you make the right one for yourself...being a mother is hard, but is also very rewarding!

Answer 10

No matter how old you are or at what part you are at in your life, a baby is always a surprise. I say keep it, If you are in your last year at the University and your BF is supportive, then youare good to go, If your BF isn't supportive, it makes the descision that much harder, but I am sure you are up for the wonderful challengeof parenthood.

Good luck with whatever you choose and congratulations

Answer 11

its normal to be scared and the best thing to do is just to do what u think is the right thing.but yet i would think that since u r in your last year of school then wont u still be pregnant when you graduate? if the baby is born before you finish school then that might make it way more difficult to finish school, good luck and the main thing is just do what you think is right, but you would be happy if you keep the baby cause babys bring so much joy into a family