And it isn't her husband - whom I know and is a really nice bloke. My mate is suspicious that his mother keeps on going out 'with the girls'. She saw that I saw her just as i was leaving the pub last night and she came running out after me, but i ducked down behind my car and she didn't come and find me - i suppose she wanted to ask me not to tell her son (my mate)
I can't tell my mate, i don't want him to be miserable especially over Christmas - do you think I should say something to her though?
2006-12-22 07:55:01 · 32 answers · asked by merciasounds 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
its horrid when this happens you cant win say something and people get upset dont say anything and if your found out for knowing your friend will be angry too. my suggestion, have a word with the mother tellher its put you in an awful spot and see what she has to say x good luck xx
2006-12-22 07:57:46 · answer #1 · answered by suzie1968uk 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
While you probably want to help your friend, this isn't your business. Your friend will need you if this comes out in the open, but don't say anything unless he asks you. Dragging the mother's affair into the public isn't going to help anyone, and it might even make your friend hate you, since you would be responsible for the pain caused to him.
If the mom comes to talk to you about what you saw, tell her you'll mind your own business, but you really think she shouldn't sneak about behind her husband's back.
In the end, this will probably come out, especially since she doesn't seem to be discrete about the cheating. Just be there for your friend and help him through this, but don't cause him pain.
Good luck!
2006-12-22 08:01:56 · answer #2 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't imagine grassing them up would be a solution.
Best not to tell your friend but be there forhim.
Might be worth a word in private with teh mother and tell her how you feel. She is supposed to be a grown up but seems to be playing with fire on her own doorstep....so me thinks it is only a matter of time before the whole thing blows up. Unless she walks away from it now.
It is a difficult one for you...but maybe if you have seen others have to point that out to her.
2006-12-22 19:42:56 · answer #3 · answered by eagledreams 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whatever you do... DON'T GET INVOLVED...
It's kind of like if you had a friend who's girlfriend was coming on to you, or if you knew she was fooling around with someone else, and then you said it to your friend... IT WOULD HAVE TO BE A VERY GOOD FRIEND WHO TRUSTED YOUR WORD...
And we are talking best friends, and still... to get involved could destroy your relationship with the friend...
I wouldn't say anything to her, other than to tell her... "I DIDN'T SEE A THING, AND I WON'T BE SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT IT TO ANYONE, AND WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS YOUR BUSINESS...
If it's not a best friend, maybe u can get in on the fun as well with her... (just kidding)
I have been down these roads before...
You wnat to be a loyal friend, but at the same time you don't want to be the cause of anything...
SHE WILL EVENTUALLY BE FOUND OUT...
Stay out of it, and do yourself a big favour...
ASK YOURSELF THIS...
Do I really want to get involved in this situation which will cause heartbreak, damage friendships, etc...
And usually the person who thinks they done the right thing, ends up being the bad guy, and everyone else lives "happily ever after"
They usually all team up on you, and you become the bad guy...
Plus she will most likely lie and say you are a liar trying to cause problems...etc...
STAY CLEAR OUT OF THIS ONE is the best advice you'll ever be given dude...
Been There...
2006-12-22 08:06:02 · answer #4 · answered by Q&A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're in a no win situation. If you tell then you feel guilty for causing family problems. If you don't tell then you feel you are hiding the truth from your mate.
Truth is that his mom is responsible for creating the problem and she is responsible for fixing it. I would look for a chance to chat with her. I would tell her that I expected her to come clean with her husband and in return I would stay out of it once I knew that he had been told. This gives your mates parents the chance to try and work things out without forcing his involvement. It is your mate's dad she is cheating on, not him.
2006-12-22 08:05:20 · answer #5 · answered by Automation Wizard 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my advice is a quiet toungue is a wise head.
say nothing they will sonn find out and u wont feel awkward that u were the bearer of bad news.
if you r asked directly and begged for an answer still be strong as i dont want ppl turning around and making u feel like the disaster maker when u r not.
also i know ppl would rather know the truth but the truth always hurts so stay blind and quiet x
2006-12-22 08:03:30 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's none of your business!!!
And, if it ever gets out, deny that you saw ANYTHING!... it's not your life and it's not your family. Just leave things well alone.
If his mother bumps into you and asks you anything, tell her you are not interested, tell her it's not your place to tell anyone and she should not involve you at all.
If you get involved, you will end up being the bad guy. Your friend will wish you hadn't said anything to him. Just stay well away.
2006-12-22 09:45:45 · answer #7 · answered by Just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep quiet and pretend you didn't see anything because it's none of your business and they could deny everything and they could make you out to be a liar, it's not worth it, if she's cheating then let him find out another way. I bet she won't say a word to you, anyway she may have had a few drinks and it may all have been innocent.
2006-12-22 08:36:25 · answer #8 · answered by georgeygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say anything. If you say something you risk having a backlash from him, his dad and her. It could get turned around some way and you could be the bad guy. Best thing to do is stay out of it. All things done in the dark will come to light one day.
2006-12-22 07:58:45 · answer #9 · answered by Chrisy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
the only conscience to be having problems here is hers, not yours. what ever you do, know that if the innocent get to know that you knew, and said nothing, you have sealed your fate as being on HER side. from being lied to and cheated on, the only time I knew I had friends was when one came to me and told me what they saw. sure, I was angry, hurt, confused, but I knew that person who told me was a true friend.
tell your friend. he will be hurt, but he will know that you are truly his friend, not a two faced pretender. when loyalties get tested, yours will be safe, and then she cannot use you as fuel for an argument with her husband when loyalties are discussed.
its a tricky one, but be a friend to your friend, and not through lies or silence, but through telling him.
there will be pain anyway, soon enough, as already she is getting sloppy with her secret. forget xmas cheer, tell him asap.
2006-12-22 08:15:31 · answer #10 · answered by SAINT G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋