My sister in law 15 has been really acting out. Just last week we found out she is doing cocaine. She really has no reason to act out she gets everything she wants, plays sports so what does she need. She doesnt have any problems , her parents have a good stable relationship. I know she dislikes her mom but it doesnt seem big enough reason to be doing everyhing shes doing. Should her mom send her away or just be harder on her. Does anyone know of any good solutions or assitance?
2006-12-22 07:33:34 · 12 answers · asked by Outspoken 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
This may not be much help, but if she is getting everything that she wants, and not having to work for anything, then it sounds like she needs to be challenged. As nice as it is to have no problems and to get everything thatyou want, it is boring and isn't challenging. She definately needs some rehab, but she also needs something mentally stimulating. Sports are good physical and mental challenges, but that may not be enough. Her guidence councelor or her doctor may know of some good places to help her.
Good luck
2006-12-22 07:40:36 · answer #1 · answered by Jenni 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its called commando parenting, her parents should take everything she owns out of her room and replace it with counseling and constant parental attention. Keep everything as positive as possible. Stress that this is not punishment but behavior modification. It is not legal for her parents to allow her to continue to do drugs and the like. At the same time teens (especially spoiled ones) feel entitled to make their own choices. Tehy really think that only they will have to pay for what they do with "their" lives. It is important to make it clear how their actions can and do affect others. You must make sure they understand that other people face a myriad of consequences stemming from one persons actions. You must make sure they understand that parents are people too with real feelings and lives that began before their children came into them.Lives that will continue once they grow-up. And how unfair it is to have someone impose legal impositions (fines, attornies fees, records, or jail time) on someone else. Make an effort to find local laws regarding parental culpability to illustrate the point. No man is an island. Teens often do not realize the impact of their choices. In the mean time, try to impress the fact that this girl will one day be a woman. Gone are the days when eveything you did wrong as a youth would be sealed when you reached adulthood.Hope this helps. P.S. bootcamp has a VERY low success rate and some are dangerous. Rehab can and does work for many, just remember it is not just for the one in treatment. Haniels_host, alexis
2006-12-22 16:21:28 · answer #2 · answered by haniels_host 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. My teens have told me I am a mean mom.... I was a corrections officer in a men's maximum security prison, so I do tend to be strict & a bit controlling. I would NOT mess around with the cocaine abuse for a second. I've seen too much in prison. Maybe getting everything she wants isn' t a good thing. She needs a sense of accomplishment by earning things she wants & needs. Mom also needs to figure out what she doesn't like & try to have an open/honest relationship with her. You can call Social Services, the insurance company, Big sisters & the juvenile court to get local resources. Lots of good TOUGH love!! :)
2006-12-22 15:45:43 · answer #3 · answered by cowgirlkolbie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like at one point she needed discipline and attention. If she has already resorted to drugs, it's time to let the professionals step in. On the outside everything may look great, but deep down there are some issues she is trying to overcome. She needs someone that she can take comfort in with her hidden emotions before it gets out of control. Do not dismiss the problem with the fact that everything seems fine, because obviously there is something you don't know.
2006-12-22 15:45:55 · answer #4 · answered by buterbuny2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if shes doing cocaine, get her into a rehab quick! my oldest brother got addicted and it ruined him very bad. shes probably hanging out with some friends who think its cool. talk to her about it, tell her how dangerous it is. and the "feel good" effect it gives her isnt worth the future problems she will face if she keeps it up. and as far as just acting out, maybe she feels she doesnt get enough attention for some reason so maybe her family should think about doing something about making "family time." as for not liking her mom, that depends on the reason she doesnt like her. if its because her mom punishes her, too bad, she will get over it.
2006-12-22 15:43:00 · answer #5 · answered by myluvis4mac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The parents need to be parents. If your teen is acting out, please treat them like a messed up kid-even if they do have the perfect life. Show them that there are other ways to get attention. Everyone has their own problems and hers is probably in herself-and not visible to outsiders. I Recommend therapy- No matter how great the life- teenagers are angsty-the only problem is that she is taking her life in her hands with drugs. She needs professional help-face the problem-dont send her away! I hope this helps-good luck!
2006-12-22 15:59:18 · answer #6 · answered by meggy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
doing cocaine at 15 sounds more like shes trying to escape someting. maybe they dont ahve problems that you know about but there are always problems lying uder the surface. it sounds more like she needs to go to counseling, not have her parents be harder on her or send her away
2006-12-22 17:01:04 · answer #7 · answered by psychoticangel_kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Teens have it hard. Don't assume that there's no reason for her to do drugs. I regularly overdosed on Ibuprofen at age 12. No one could believe it. Even my friends I told everything to but they have said my life would be hard for them. There are things in people's lives that are kept secret and she probably doesn't know how to handle her issues.
2006-12-22 18:12:48 · answer #8 · answered by tictac_lvr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to let her know that you are there for her. You can't force someone to get help if they don't want to. It will have to be her decision.
She might just want some extra attention. Plus, something might have happened in her personal life that you just don't know about. Family has to stick together so make sure you are there for her no matter what.
2006-12-22 15:41:24 · answer #9 · answered by teresasays 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her what's wrong or try to check her into a rehab.
2006-12-23 22:31:35 · answer #10 · answered by High_School_Musical_Freak 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋