My husband and I have had a rough year, there was infidelity, lies, issues with co-workers a whole mess of things that caused us to to seperate and seriously contemplate divorce (even to the point where we told our two children). We've started to try and work things out, not to the point where we are actually saying "for the marriage" but just to see what happens. Starting next year we will go out on dates and just see what happens. During this limbo time we have had sex, but there are weird little issues with others things like casual touching or shows of affection. I thought about all this and decided we should hold off on sex for awhile, just date and explore each other in different ways and see where that goes. Does this sound dumb? Before I get all the infidelity s wrong dump him/her, just know I've heard it all before and thats not what I'm asking for. Thanks to all that give sincere honest answers. Happy Holidays :)
2006-12-22 07:14:48 · 7 answers · asked by Completly in love... 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I actually think you guys are doing this the exact right way. Try it out...after what you've been through you will have a whole new perspective on this person and be able to determine if its really going to work out in the end. I wish you lots of luck--and I hope you figure out what exactly you want and find a way to be happy. I'm sure you will.
2006-12-22 07:45:45 · answer #1 · answered by Heather 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your both trying to reconnect with each other the right way. This is a good thing, Even after all of the bad things that happened between you both in the past, if the love is sincerely strong, it is possible for things to really work. Forget about "making it work" forcefully. Just sincerely try to get to know each other a little better because you truely love each other. Which sounds like what your both doing.
I hope things work out. If it doesn't, at least you both know you tried, and didn't take the cowards way out like most people do. And you also made sure you truely, sincerely, figured out each other intimitly, and didn't take the cowards way by just staying around simply because your afraid. Most people who don't understand love, just give up quick, don't try, don't care, and remain cold. Stay warm.
Happy Holidays to you too.
2006-12-22 07:19:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Isn't it about time you two sat down and laid all of your cards out on the table?
Marriage is never 50-50; once it might be 85-15 in your favor or it many become 85-15 in his favor. No matter what someone takes and someone gives; it's called balance, and who in the hell cares who gives and who takes? Marriage is not about keeping score. It's about sharing, loving and giving.
Good rules of marriage:
Hands off!
Don't listen to others especially when they are trying to interfere.
Talk things out.
Listen to what the other person is saying. Most people they hear what you are saying, but they are not listening.
Every time something isn't right don't run off from the get go; stick around and start working on it.
Marital bliss is not handed to you on a silver platter. I married a man I only met once; we've been married going on 23 years now and that is how we made it.
2006-12-22 07:24:22 · answer #3 · answered by Laela (Layla) 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a partnership with two individuals who have different personalities, different wishes, different desires and so forth. It is difficult under any circumstances...just as all relationships are difficult. To have a successful relationship you have to first know, understand and love yourself. Accept yourself without judgment and recognize that you are truly a wonderful person. Now, when you begin a relationship like marriage each party makes a commitment to work his/her best to make the relationship work. In a non-marital relationship nobody is asked to make such a commitment, the relationship continues based on what each party gets out of the relationship. What seems to happen in marriage is the same. If the married partner doesn't get what he/she expects and/or wants out of the relationship, they want out. So, work to make the relationship work...and ask yourself if you are honoring yourself by maintaining, or trying to maintain the relationship. Then act.
2006-12-22 07:23:34 · answer #4 · answered by judgebill 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
With that type of thinking and logic, the marriage isn't going to make it.
2006-12-22 07:35:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a Divorce and move on with your life!! Time heals and then you could get a young Philly to Rock your World!!!
2006-12-22 07:19:47 · answer #6 · answered by ballman4425 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are completely mis-understood.
2006-12-22 07:28:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋