For African Americans-Would you mind being adopted if it were a white family?

Question

My husband and I, both white, would love to adopt a baby and provide a loving home. We do not care at all what race that baby is. In fact, we feel that it will be a very positive thing for our biological son to have the experience and openness of knowing that race doesn't matter when it comes to love and helping other human beings. However, we are worried that the baby we adopt may (someday) care that his/her adoptive parents weren't the same race and maybe would feel that they might have missed an integral part of their heritage and culture. We are mainly looking at an adoption of an African American baby and would like inuput from African Americans about this. Any view would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

A child is happiest with parents who love her. You being white won't make her a bit of difference (even as she discovers that there are obvious physical differences between 'black' and 'white' people). There will be trouble, however, when nasty people take it upon themselves to drive those differences home with slurs, stereotypes and things of that sort.

So, what you need to do is help your child develop a strong sense of self: self-worth, self-respect. But be sure you encourage her to learn about her native culture; don't attempt a color-blind household -- it's an exercise in futility (she and everyone else will notice the difference between you and some will resent you guys for it; she should know that from your mouths first) and is counterproductive. She has to know that what she looks like will play a major role in others' perceptions of her. Buy some black dolls and some books about black people. Allow her to spend time with other black families. But, most of all, help her understand that black is just a part of who she is and that you see nothing wrong with that, nor should other people.

One day she will realize that you and she are different and that it means something important, but you be her parents. That is the most helpful thing you can do. Best wishes.

Answer 2

I definately wouldnt have minded at all, given I was adopted by an abusive person. I think it shouldnt matter what race you are, if you are willing to take anyone in it shows that your love is unconditional and that is very special. I dont believe in that crap about the whole missing out on your culture, we know that there are different races, this is exposed from everything from school to tv. But if it bothers you, you can educate your child. I am a child of mixed race and I had no problem with heritage/culture issues.

Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 3

You are doing an honorable thing by adopting any child. Well, I think you should keep your potential child involved in different cultural activities that may be offered in your community. You can also find out some information about the child's biological family should he or she have any questions growing up. As I look back on how I was raised, I don't think I was brought up any different than most other children. The most I learned about Black History was this fall in my Black American History class and I'm 21.

Answer 4

No I wouldn't mind being adopted by a white family. Race shouldn't matter as long as you're loving and able to provide a good stable home to the child. One thing that I'm concerned about is that this child won't have anyone around him or her to learn about their culture. Since you are seriously thinking about adopting a black child I'd suggest that you have role models around this child who are also African American so that child can learn about their culture. But I wish you the best!

Answer 5

I think those issues would easily be over shadowed by the fact that the kid would be happy to be adopted into a happy family.

Plus they can take their life experiences and write an 80's sitcom

I am sure if you are loving parents the child wont really care that his/her parents are white. Since you say want a baby that would mean that is just what they know. more likely they will only have some announce when dealing with other people who are surprised who that you're their parent. But that would issues with other people not you and your husband.

if you want to make sure that the child still is in touch with it's culture you can make sure they know their history (get them books, movies, documentaries etc on that)

Answer 6

Culture and heritage is not color based, culture is what a child gets from his upbringing.

A child of any race raised in a suburb will have a different cultural experience than a child raised in a ghetto.

Poor children of any race share the same culture. Wealthy children of any race share the same culture. Culture is schools, neighborhoods, expectations, mores and values which have nothing to do with color.

Do you think a black child raised in Beverly Hills has the same thought process (culture) as a black child raied in Cabrini Green (housing project)?

I would advise that before you raise a black child, you first understand the true differences between color and culture so that your adopted child is assured of getting the best parents he deserves.

Answer 7

relatively It happens better than people think of. yet right this is the version. maximum white adoptions are greater classic(people finding to undertake a infant). at the same time as "non white" adoptions frequently take place after the adopting determine replaced into first the youngster's Foster determine then adopts the youngster whilst the bio-determine forfeits custody,dies or is got here upon thoroughly no longer worth to guard the youngster and is striped of any parental rights. Its a protracted technique yet in maximum circumstances greater much less high priced for the state and greater handy for the youngster who has more advantageous a relationship with that determine.

Answer 8

Here is the thing about being adopted black or white or whatever, it's the parents that make a difference in that childs life. I think it's upto you guys how that child will feel. I was adopted and so was my bro by a white family and they were great parents. We are africans by birth etc and they did their best to educate us about life, africa, and african americans. We were older like 12 and 13 so we were comming to a new country and we grew up with our old family in Africa so you can only imagine the challenge. But the love my parents shared with us out weighed whatever else came along. They did their best giving us our heritage and our new heritage as well. By the time i was in 8th grade, i had learned all about slavery, segregation and they gave me their imput on it and they let me be whomever i wanted. Sometimes the mistake some parents who adopt other races make is trying to make that child be like them than themselves. I believe had i grown up with a black family I'd still be whom I am today just as i grew up with a white family. my passion is inside me not racially decided. My parents let us have black friends if we wanted to or white friends or hispanic whomever, and thye still educated us about some stereotypes about blacks in America and every other race including what people might see when they saw us with them. and we did ran into some black people who would say to me especially in high school, they'd say, "they aren't your real parents so why do you care?" and I was strong enough to say yes they are my real parents. And some were nice about it and some whites were kind of mean to my brother especially he was a young black male and they'd say to my parents "what about when he grows up" like his destiny was prison or jail. But if you and your husband are doing it out of love, it will prevail all and your son or daughter will love you and cherrish. the trials are the same would it be of your own race.

Answer 9

Although I think its best for AA kids to be in AA homes, an AA child in a white home is better than being in the system. If you are truly honest about race in America, encourage and respect AA culture in your household and from your family, peers, etc. then go for it.

I thought Anita Revolution had a great answer. Hers times 2.

God Bless

Answer 10

I wouldn't mind it at all. It may be somewhat of a culture shock as I got older, but as long as it is a loving home and the parents were good providers, that's all that really matters in the end.