i work hard but like to ride my bike on a sunday why do i feel guilty for doing this?

Question

i have my own business and work hard during the week, bring home £1k+ a week but on a sunday i like to leather up and go for a ride on my Yamaha R1 for a couple of hours, before my separation with the wife this was a problem (WHY) ? this was part cause of my split ? am i in the wrong here ? even though i dont want her back (as life too good now lol) this is still a question on my mind

Answer 1

i don't think you are in the wrong. marriage is an agreement between two people and she needed to know that there are things that you might do that drives her crazy, but i'm sure there are things that she did that drove yo crazy. each person needs an outlet and they need to be able to do things alone every now and then. riding your bike was obvoiusly yours and she didn't see that. there needs to be a give and take. not a take take relationship. don't worry about it...

Answer 2

It seems as though you didn't have a lot of free time. Was Sunday your only free time? If so, did you spend it alone every Sunday riding your bike? If so, that IS why you got a divorce. What woman would want to think she comes lower on the priority list than her husband's bike? And perhaps she was worried that every Sunday she'd be a single parent once the kids came along?

If however you did have couple time with her, then she might have been too needy.

In the future, you might want to make it clear to prospective women that you are absolutely unavailable on Sundays so that they can know what they are getting into. Don't deviate from that when you are courting them (which would give them a false impression). Start as you mean to go on and find a woman for whom absent Sundays work (just don't complain if she finds a hobby of her own to fill her alone time).

Answer 3

She wanted to spend some time with you on a sunday thats all.

She felt neglected during the week and felt that on a sunday this was your time together.

You didn't spend enough time explaining to her that you wanted YOU time. You simply went out. She took this as you being selfish, which you were being but you thought that you had a right to have some YOU time.

Money isn't everything in a marriage, she just wanted to spend quality time with you. I am sure life is good for you at the moment, but you will soon discover that you long to have the security of a partner and marriage, like you had before your seperation.

Answer 4

There's only one person in the world who can make you feel guilty -- YOU!!!

There is nothing at all wrong with having some alone time out on the open road. Maybe ask her if she wants to come along every once in a great. My husband has a Harley and rides sometimes. I trust him & it makes him happy. I am not a control freak that needs to know where he is 24/7.

Answer 5

Yes, on some level you are wrong. You're wife and family should come first and if you work all week it sounds to me that weekend is the only time for her and the family. If it was me I would compromise and ride maybe one Sunday a month or something like that.

Answer 6

Come on Sweetheart, we're all grown ups here...no-one but no-one splits up an otherwise happy marraige just because one half likes to go riding on a Sunday after a long hard week at work....plus no-one but no-one would allow their otherwise happy marraige to fall apart over a Sunday bike ride....now would they???
one or both of you are in serious denial

By the way...no-one can make us feel guilty, that's an emotion we feel ourselves, you either allow it or you don't...try as hard as some might to make us feel that way...

Answer 7

I am a female motorcycle enthusiast and I can understand the call of the open road on the weekend during your "down time". It is very relaxing and a great way to "recharge" for the upcoming week. I'm fortunate though that my husband likes to join me and this is a hobby we share.

Likely, your soon-to-be "ex" felt that you should include her in some way during your time off. Did she not like to join you, or did you invite her at all? She was likely feeling ignored and built up a resentment toward your "hobby".

Just my two cents. Hope this helps from a feminine perspective.

Ride safe!

And in response to e30dan's response, I suppose I am not the "typical woman", but he certainly sounds like the typical man.

Answer 8

This isn't a bad thing...just make sure the next girl either likes to ride too or has her own bike. There are lots of women who love the open road as much as you do--I'm one of them.

Have fun, and don't stress about the bike thing. I'm sure there were other reasons that prompted the separation.

Answer 9

Because you probably went riding even when you were married and you wife (then) asked you to stay home, but you were selfish and went anyway. It doesn't matter how much money you brought home, you first responsibility was to your family. You were gone every other day of the week working. They just wanted to have the pleasure of your company, but you were more interested in getting away from them for a couple of hours.

Now you feel guilty because you know that is one of the things you did that was selfish that broke up your marriage. When you ride, you remember neglecting your family.

Answer 10

It sounds to me your wife was selfish. If I had a man like you. Momma be out there washing your bike on Sundays for you can ride in style bady. That question stays with you because you know you did nothing wrong.