I love her and want to rekindle our sex life. She used to be so beautiful. We just had a baby so I know it is hard for her but I am very sexually active and need action. There's a girl at work who is giving me signs but I really don't want to go that route. We've only been married for 3 years... I can't imagine 30 more like this. We only have sex like once every three months. She doesn't turn me on at all anymore. I got us a membership at Gold's. I gained 20 pounds of pure muscle and look very good now. She went for about 2 months and then stopped going. Please help.
2006-12-22 06:26:17 · 54 answers · asked by Kevin B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe try to help her out some more. Suggest activites that the three of you can do together. Like going for walks with the baby. Encourage her more than anything. If you go the other route...what are you going to have? A love life on the side that ruined your relationship because you weren't getting enough sex?
2006-12-22 06:27:39 · answer #1 · answered by Amy_S 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Well having an affair isn't going to solve your problems at all. If you want to rekindle your sex life then start acting like it.
You say you love your wife but your actions don't fit your words. SHE JUST HAD A BABY!!! If you want to help her then help her. Ask her what kind of exercise she likes to do. Get involved in her life. For example I hate going to the gym & working out. But grab a pair of skis & hit a cross-country trail & I'll go any time. You do some detective work & find out what works best for her not you, and then see how that works.
Encourage her, send her flowers for no reason. Cook dinner for her...there is a lot of things you can do to rekindle your sex life. The real problem lies with you & not with her. You need to realize that the only person you can change is yourself. So stop being so self centered & realize that you have a young wife that just had a child is a new mom, with a husband is a jerk & thinks because he’s going to the gym & has this new body that he deserves a girl that is more physically fit. Did you even ask your wife if she likes the way your new muscles look on you? Some girls don’t even like big muscles! Maybe your turning her off. There is trying & there is doing. If you want to keep your wife then you need to start doing something about your attitude.
2006-12-22 06:52:08 · answer #2 · answered by Little Nell 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How would you like her to tell you that your being selfish.
Man grow up and stop crying.
Your wife just had a baby and that isn't an easy thing to do. Her body is still needing to get adjusted to giving birth. There is other ways of relieving yourself other than going to another female. If you love your wife as you say you do then you WOULDN'T turn to another women and hurt your wife in that way. So I take it that you only married your wife because she was beautiful and not for any other reason. Just b/c you have the desire to go to the gym doensn't mean she has to go. I hope your not hounding her to lose weight b/c that is not helping her to want to do it but it could also be a reason why your sex life is the way it is, your hurting her feelings.
I just can't believe how incentcitive you are.
She just gave you a child and now your thinking of having an affair. Put a lid on that thing and help your wife out with your child. Stop the whinning.
2006-12-22 06:42:29 · answer #3 · answered by Clara 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-20 22:35:00 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it kind of disturbs me that you would even consider having an affair with some other woman because she has been eyeing you and because she may look better. you have to remember that a woman's body goes through alot of changes from the moment she gets pregnant all the way til she actually has the baby. in order to rekindle your sex life you have to understand that always nagging her about being overweight is only going to hurt your relationship and make her resent you in the long run. put yourself in her position, would you like it if she was constantly telling you your penis was too small or something? and that she wasn't attracted to you anymore? i don't think you would. you have only been married for 3 years. you two need to communicate with each other. marriage is like a job, it takes alot of work on both parts. it is not all about sex, too many people put so much empasis on sex. you brought a life into this world, your biggest concern should be about the baby. stop being so darn selfish. you are a daddy now. everything will work out if you show your wife you are on her side, good luck to you.
2006-12-22 11:09:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Set your wife down and tell her that, when you first married she was the beautiful woman in the world. You understand the baby made her put on some weight but she needs to go on a diet and get her figure back down to the way it was, because she had such a fantastic body. Explain to her that you need sex that you aren't getting and if she doesn't love you enough to keep you sexual satisfied the way it was when you first married, then it just isn't working out. That you have very heavy sexual need and it needs to be met , which it isn't the way things have been going. Ask her if there is reason or something you have done to cause to not want to have sex with you only now and then. Tell her you love her more than anything in the world, but things have gone from bad to worst. That you aren't happy with the way things are going, her weight is way overdue to be back down the size she was when you married her and you have to have sex and if you can't agree to this then it may be best to get a legal separation
That things can't keep going on like they are, you want back the girl you married not a complete almost stranger. If that doesn't work than it is time to see a Lawyer, get that legal separation and have a happy life again. She may change and then again a divorce may be the best thing for you to get, if she doesn't agree..
2006-12-22 06:49:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
shame on you! Just had a baby? Give her a break! These things take time. A womans' body is never the same after having a baby. Are you saying she isn't beautiful anymore because she had YOUR baby? How awful for that poor woman that you would give up so easy. Her weight should NOT be a factor...beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You should go to her with this, not us. You two can change what is happening in your marriage, but if you don't make her feel loved or sexy, she isn't going to want to. It has a LOT to do with how you treat her and talk to her too. Make her feel like she did when you first met and started dating, or when you got married. DOn't give up, you can win that fire back and it could be even better than before. Good luck and Merry Christmas.
2006-12-22 06:33:06 · answer #7 · answered by mcentiremadness 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I feel really sorry for your wife....you are not being very understanding, and to suggest that because she's gained some weight she is no longer beautiful? Mothers of new babies in most cases just aren't thinking about sex, they are thinking, "Oh my god, one more person who wants something from me!" Because she's taking care of that baby all day long and then many times through the night, and she probably really just wants 30 minutes to soak uninterrupted in the bathtub. Why don't you start rekindling the sex life by showing her affection, love notes, watch the baby so she can get a few hours to herself, tell her how pretty she is....don't you know how to get a woman's interest? You are sounding rather selfish.
2006-12-22 06:36:15 · answer #8 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps if you worked it out at the gym, maybe you could increase the size of your "shallow insensitive" muscle.
You are all about looks? Well isn't that special. Here's a woman ruining her body for you by taking your what seems to be fairly worthless come, turning it into a 10 pound baby, and sh*tting it out through her fun zone.
And you have the nerve to complain that while she is busy with a newborn, she isn't losing the weight fast enough?
Here's an idea: flex real hard and pull your head out of your a s s. Help out around the house, do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and help with the baby, and that will take care of your "need for action." If you still need some action, grease up one of your no-neck tights-wearing buddies at Gold's Fairy Playground and ride the rectal rodeo, you self-absorbed mirror-staring boob.
It's great to come up with a plan to help her lose the baby weight, but give her a year or two to actually start raising the child. Or, release it into the woods, and maybe the same wolves that clearly raised you will help out again.
2006-12-22 06:34:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Do not cheat with this girl at work just because she is paying more attention to you and she has a better body. This is the part of the marriage where a man steps up and becomes a man. Marriages are work. There not automatic. .This is not all about you. In fact, you have to do what it takes so your child can have a healthy environment to grow in. You are being very selfish. DYou will find that when you take the easy way out it never solves the prolem. Be a man. Communicate with your wife. Be suttle. Take her out dancing so she can see the competition. Whatever it takes. She'll get the message when she sees that you care about the well-being of the marriage. This is where you earn your paycheck my friend.
You'd be suprised. Show some of the love you have for yourself to your child and see how that turns your wife on.
2006-12-22 06:33:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever thought that the fact your wife doesnt want to have sex with you is the fact that she is embaressd that you are telling her to go to the gym even if you are doing it subtly belive me she will know why you are doing that. She is probably so self conscieous that her husband doesnt love her body, dont be so clueless, if you tell her you love her no matter what, and NEVER EVER remind her of the fact she has put on weight she will have sex with you again. And if it just physically you liked her then you deserve a slap. You just had a baby and your thinking of having an afair, think how awfull that sounds, your wife is putting all her effort into her baby and your baby and her husband is thinking of having an affair.. doesnt sound good does it. Put your wife before your sexual needs ! at least until your new born baby isnt occupying ALL her time.
2006-12-22 06:32:31 · answer #11 · answered by royalalice1989 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋