is there something wrong?

Question

my husband says he doesn't really feel the enjoyment of an orgasm as much as he used too. the doctor says his prostate is fine. is this normal with age, we still enjoy great sex but he is usually disappointed at the end.

Answer 1

Greetings:
Without more information about your husband, I dont feel like I can accurately answer your question but I will give it a try.
I treat a lot of erectile dysfunction and other sexual disorders in men at my office.
Firstly, is your husband over the age of 40? Statistics show that at least fifty percent of men over 40 will suffer some kind of sexual disorder, most commonly ED.
When working up a male with sexual difficulties, there are many questions that are important to know?
1. Does he have morning erections?
2. Is he able to masturbate to orgasm without difficulty?
3. Is his libido decreased thus resulting in a less full erection and less satisfaction with ejaculation?
4. Is he on any medications including over the counter medications? (The most common drugs that interfere with male sexual performance are blood pressure medications, cold medications containing antihistamines, decongestants, alcohol, pain medications, antidepressants, medications for his stomach)
5. Does your husband have high blood pressure, diabetes or any low back/disc problems?
6. Is your husband under undue stress either at work, at home or with his family (mother, father, siblings, children, spouse?)
7. Does your husband feel "inadequate" as far as performance, anxiety, depression, or some kind of "body dysmorphic disorder", ie. does he have a poor image of himself, or is he concerned about his penis size?
All of these can interfere with a man's sexual pleasure and performance.
Like I mentioned earlier, half of men over forty will have some kind of sexual difficulty.
He should consult with his personal physician (if he has one, it is like pulling teeth to get men to come to the doctor). He could possibly have thyroid disease, heart disease, hypertension, diabetes, anemia, kidney or liver disease or a low testosterone level. All of these can be treated and could be the cause of his problems.
I hope this helped answer your questions and help you and your husband figure out what is causing his decreased enjoyment in his orgasms.
Best to the both of you.
Sincerely,
Warren Shaffer, M.D.
PS. After being worked up for medical problems, he may want to try one of the medications such as cialis, levitra or viagra.

Answer 2

A very sick mama dog is an extremely stressful situation. And I understand your anger at some of the answers that you received. It is normal for you to want to vent back to these folks some of your anger and frustration. So, try to remain calm and keep your focus on your dog & pups. Don't let this cloud your true goal - a healthy dog. And yes, I would love to know this outcome. Kudos to you for your quick action in caring for 7 pups! It isn't easy! I wish that more people would realize that there are situations that stump even the best of vets. While the calicum issue is the most common with these symptoms, it is not the only cause. And your dedication to this dog and her pups is very, very admirable. So, you know that you are responding to this crisis in the best manner possible. You are doing all you can do in an extremely difficult situation. Let God sort out the rest. Peace

Answer 3

email me and I can tellyou things that I can not tellyou on this system that will help you.

also with ecach ten years of age your stomach produces ten percent less enzymes so you digest food poorly and get less nutrients and you need nutrients to enjoy sex. How old are you and your husband. tell me your diets. tell me your liofestyle.
Read what I say about waiting tillmarriage tohave sex did you both wait.
sex takes plce more in your mind than in your body. Yet you need certain nutirents to be able to enjoy sex. They are the some things that bring a loing healthy life and are misisng fomr most wester diets.
get raw pumpkin seeds and have a pound of them each of you. IN one or two days. Then another poound over a few days and then keep them in your diet cook eith them adding them to foods etcetra. THey will give him some nutrients that help enjoy pleasure etc. and you too.
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Does he still get moring erectinos as most guys should.
there is much better stuff byutI am not allowed to say it here. If you wnat to know or anyone does how to have great sex email me and I will tell you but becasue I am a conservative perosn I prefer only shring with marrie dcouples but I will share it with all who email me. [e-mail]

Answer 4

1

Answer 5

Normal with age, guys get less turned on as they turn the calendar. Women also.

Answer 6

Yeah, ignore that previous post, you husband may knock you out if you start f'n w/ his bunghole. Stay away from his rectum. maybe try giving him yours. spice it up, talk dirty to him. Get dressed up and ask him what he would really like to do to you. Not what he knows you want to hear. It will work!

Answer 7

he might be tired of doing the same things. try soemthing new, like karma sutra or start using toys. if that doenst work try doing new methods like exploring or finding his gspot (in rectum)

Answer 8

get him check for high blood pressure or diabetes.

Answer 9

get him some viagra honey!

Answer 10

*n*L S*X INTRO:
Introducing Anal Sex
(http://www.allsexguide.com/anal_sex_intro.htm)
There is a very large misconception that anal sex is only enjoyed by gay men. As a result of this misconception, any heterosexual man who is curious or knows he desires anal play, may be depriving oneself out of fear that others will think that he must really be gay or have homosexual tendencies. That could not be farther from the truth!

Millions of heterosexual women and men love to partake in anal play. By anal play, I mean rimming, having a finger up the *** while you’re getting a *******, inserting butt plugs, dildos, holding a vibrator around the opening, or rubbing the opening with your finger. And this area of the body should not be ignored when one is indulging. This is a very sensitive area, that when given the proper attention, can bring one to a new world of ecstasy.

Now, you must be careful when partaking in such an activity, because the membranes that line the anal cavity are so very delicate. Make sure that the area is well lubricated. A special product designed for anal use (and is one of my absolute favorites) is Doc Johnson's Anal Lube.

Now, for you anal virgins, you don’t need to penetrate on the first go round. Use your fingers to massage, rub and tickle the area. The key is to start slow, be patient and try to relax. Remember this is supposed to be an enjoyable activity. Communication is absolutely essential with your partner. Let him or her know what feels good and when he or she can go further.

Once you reach a comfortable point, you may try a little penetration. If you use your fingers, please make sure that you take all safe sex precautions: finger cots, latex gloves, etc.) If you know your partner well and don’t feel there’s a need, then make sure your fingernails are well groomed and free from any rough edges that may scrape or cut this delicate lining.

The best things to use, and the safest for the inexperienced, are the many rubber insertion devices that are made for this purpose. There are many kits for beginners. Oh, just another safety note. If you decide to use a device not specifically meant for anal penetration, make sure it has a wide end on it so that the object can’t slip into the entire cavity. (Unfortunately, it has been known to happen.) Be smart, use common sense and you’ll be okay.

I can’t stress the importance of communicating this desire with your partner. You never know, maybe your partner is just as interested as you and you’ll both be on your way to a new world of sexual encounters. And for all those who have been approached with the situation and have been turned away by it, I can guarantee it’s been out of ignorance. So many people out there believe it is taboo to partake in such an act. Those seeking more info should watch Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex For Women or Nina Hartley's Guide to Anal Sex. Share this knowledge with your partner. Understanding may lead to giving it a shot. I hope this article has helped you in understanding what a wonderful addition anal play can be to your sex life. Remember sex is even more fun when it’s really dirty!

MISCONCEPTIONS:

Does anal sex hurt? There is absolutely no reason why anal sex should be a painful or traumatic experience. It has been said that many of us carry a lot of tension in our lower bodies, making the anus an even more sensitive an area. Anal play can relieve some of this tension. If you stay in tune with your body, during this type of play, you can actually develop muscle leading to more intense orgasms. A warm bath may help to relax not only the area, but your whole being as well. If for any reason, you do begin to feel pain, restrain from inserting any further, wait a moment and slowly pull out. But if you take it slow, you should have no problem.

Is there any special cleansing I should do before having anal sex?
If you or your partner is very concerned about hygiene, a small enema can be used. It is important to only use lukewarm water because if the water is too hot or too cold it could damage the lining or cause painful cramps. Remember, if you give yourself an enema, give yourself some time to release the liquid. Some people need half an hour, others need much longer. But if you do want to give yourself an enema, make sure you know what your doing.

Does anal sex cause hemorrhoids or incontinence?
No, this is just an folk tale. Hemorrhoids are usually the result of a poor diet, constipation or diarrhea. After any kind of anal penetration, your anus will feel very wet and not as tight as normal, but it will feel normal by morning. In the morning, you shouldn’t feel any different.

Are there any techniques to make anal penetration go smoothly?
As I said before, constant communication with your partner and patience is very important. Some people find it easier to masturbate or have their partner also stimulate their genitals at the same time. There are no rules, do what feels good. Anal penetration isn’t something you do first. If you’re just beginning, engage in the foreplay you like and are comfortable with and slowly move into anal play. You’ll find it’s much easier to get into if you’re already well excited.

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FELLATIO TECHNIQUES
(http://kamasutrafree.stores.yahoo.net/sucmanfruitf.html)

Fellatio is oral sex performed on a man. It is a great way to give pleasure; regardless of whether it is for foreplay, after play, or the main event. Like all other sexual skills, they must be learned, so communication is highly recommended. Whether the communication is before, during, or after, it is essential to learn the art. Finding out what he likes will invariably go a long way towards performing mind-blowing oral sex.

Keep in mind, when you are performing oral sex, you are doing this for him. Sending negative vibes about not wanting to or how much of a chore it is will take away from his experience. If you act enthusiastic, chances are it will be over faster, and it will be your turn to receive. If you are really against performing fellatio, explain to your partner why you don’t, and don’t allow him to force you if you are uncomfortable.

The following fellatio techniques are adapted from the Kama Sutra:

Licking The Penis:
Start by licking his penis as if it were an ice cream cone. Hold its base with one hand and repeatedly lick upward alternating the side of the penis you lick.

The Butterfly Flick:
Flick your tongue lightly along the ridge on the underside of his penis. You may need to hold the penis at the base while you learn to do this.

The Nominal Congress:
Take his penis in your hand. Place it between your lips and move it around in your mouth.

Biting The Sides:
Cover the end of the penis with your finger tips. Then liss and gently nibble the sides (very gently).

Pressing Inside:
Take his penis into your mouth. Press it with your lips and then take it out.

Pressing outside:
Press your lips against the end of his penis and kiss it as if drawing it out.

Rubbing:
After kissing his penis lick it all over and pass your tongue over it's end.

Kissing:
Hold his penis in your hand and kiss it as though you were kissing his lower lip.

Sucking a Mango Fruit:
Take his penis half way into your mouth. Suck on it vigorously.

Swallowing Up:
Take the whole length of the penis into your mouth as if tring to swallow it.

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HandJob Technique(s):
Mutual masturbation can be a thrilling experience, but first, we need to study the basics of manual technique. Most men feel women aren't skilled at handling penises. Their grips are too limp, lacking conviction and exuberance. They seem afraid to apply pressure, yet often pull or tug at inappropriate moments, disrupting the rhythm. They also have a tendency to scratch. Clearly, we all need to be more knowledgeable about the proper methods of mutual masturbation. Either you or your partner can perform the following exercises. But it is written with an experienced woman in mind.

The first concern is always a matter of size. Is it large or small? Somewhere in between? No issue has ever received greater attention than the size of a man's penis. Man's obsession with cock size is probably a mental vestige of his primitive primate past, but as far as human sexuality is concerned, it's a waste of time. A large penis doesn't have any effect on a woman's physical enjoyment unless she has a deep-seated psychological attachment to well-endowed men.

How about its shape? Is it curved like a boomerang or is it straight like an arrow? Does your fist fit around the spongy mass of the shaft? Does your hand completely engulf it? This is good because you can squeeze it all at once. But don't be an organ grinder. Be gentle, yet firm. If the penis has an unusual girth, your hand may not completely encircle it. In such cases, try both hands to insure you don't miss any of the tender areas while stroking.

Explore every square inch of his genital surface area. A man loves to have his penis worshipped, played with, tickled, fondled, massaged. Let him know that you are not afraid, ashamed or disgusted. Don't start stroking or jerking quite yet. Just feel the fullness of it all. Let your fingers run from the balls to the top of the cock head, swirl around there, then slide back down the other half and end back down at the balls. The movements should be swift and smooth, without bumping or stalling.

Now you're ready for some stepped-up action, but you don't want to suddenly lapse into a series of beatings, whackings, jackings and jerkings. Tease the more sensitive areas of the penis. These include: the glans and corona, and the tender part of the bottom side of his penis.

Bring your palm up to the top of the glans and park it there flat out, fingers held together and stiff, thumb pointed straight out. Spin it around as if you were trying desperately to remove the tight lid of a jar. Your man will be groaning in delicious agony. The glans is super sensitive and this motion will bring him exquisite pleasure. He might grimace and cry out, and probably try to push your hand away, but he's loving every second of it. Now's your chance to be the one who plows ahead even though he's pleading with you to stop!

After you've done this for a while, slip your hand down his testicles and ever-so-gently grab them in your fingers, softly tugging them down away from his shaft. If they are big and bulky, like Grade AA eggs, bounce them up and down a couple of times in your hand. Tell him how heavy they feel, how sexy they are.

Whatever you do, don't squeeze them! This could put a real damper on your lovemaking for the rest of the day. You might notice that one of his nuts hangs lower than the other. This is perfectly normal. Once you feel comfortable with the way his balls feel in your hand, gently roll them up the underside of his shaft. Depending on their size and the amount of room in the scrotum, they will most likely reach to half way of his penis. He will like the way this feels.

Now, let go of his testicles and bring your fingers together in a makeshift goosehead formation. Very lightly, begin to stroke his erection with your fingers, running them all over his sensitive shaft and balls. You may wish to slip the pocket of your goosehead handhold over the tip of his penis, letting it rest there for a few seconds.

About this time, the penis will probably start to emit its natural lubricant. Pre-seminal fluid is nature's way of moistening the canal of the urethra so that the spermatozoa can swim more easily out of it; it also lubricates the head of the penis. An uncircumcised penis gathers up this lubricant within the foreskin and keeps the head very moist and slick. Use the juice to lubricate the shaft. Sometimes, its musky smell can be an aromatic aphrodisiac for you both. If there is little or no pre-***, don't be concerned. It is not a requirement, and it doesn't always appear at exactly the same time.

In any case a good lubricant will work just as well. Add a drop of moisturizing lotion to the shaft and gently rub it in. Alexandra Penney, in her book, "How to Make Love to a Man", is very keen on massaging the lotion between one's hands before putting it on the penis because sometimes the cream is cold and the palm-rubbing warms it up.

If your partner doesn't seem to have a very firm erection, try using a cinnamon-based ointment which you can find at your local sex novelty store or acquire through a mail catalog. The slight burning sensation often causes the penis to become rock-hard. Adding a little dab to the testicles also helps. If you really want to do a number on him, slip a dollop of Ben-Gay on his balls and watch him go through the roof.

Techniques
One of the secrets of great manual sex is varying your hand motions. Here are a few indispensable techniques:

SWITCH HITTER
Use both hands, alternating back and forth in a pattern you develop to offer him the most arousal. He will notice the difference. Don't get into a routine where the strokes are dull, and noncommittal. Give it to him good. Get him to the point where he's singing out, "I second that hand motion!"

DOUBLE WHAMMY
How about going double or nothing! Bring both well-lubricated hands down on his shaft. Some cocks are so big they require both hands. If your partner's doesn't, then use the other hand to caress and lightly flutter his balls, or tighten around the base of his shaft. If both hands fit along the length of the shaft, move then together, up and down, in the typical pumping motion. Pretend you're holding a baseball bat and are about to score a grand slam. You can also vary the directions of your hands, one up, one down at the same time. There's no doubt that two hands are better than one.

THE ANVIL STROKE
Bring one hand down, letting it stroke the penis from the top all the way to the bottom. When it hits the bottom, release it. Meanwhile you're bringing your corresponding hand down to the top of the shaft, creating an alternating beating motion, hence the name "anvil stroke." Think of those blacksmith duos who keep up a double beat pounding motion as they beat that rod of iron on a piping-hot anvil.

THE SHUTTLE COCK
Not many people have heard of the "shuttle cock," but it's one of the best. Take the penis in both hands, fingers lightly touching the sides of the shaft. In order to visualize the position, think of yourself holding a clarinet. Now flick the penis back and forth between your two hands by holding on to the loose skin of the shaft. Shuttling it back and forth in this manner may not seem incredibly thrilling to him at first, but pretty soon, as it builds up momentum, it will drive him out of his mind. Orgasms encountered via this method are sometimes messy, but always memorable.

THE BOOKENDS
Place both of your hands side by side against his shaft like a pair of bookends. Now push hard against his penis. Then lift your hands up and down. Continue in this manner for a while. The constant tugging of the skin around the balls and the mons pubis will do the trick.

THE FLAME
Place your hands down on either side, your fingers pointing away from the cock. Pretend you're a campfire girl and start spinning his pecker like a stick of wood. This way you'll keep the home fires burning for a long time to come.

THE BASE CLUTCH
Tighten your thumb and forefinger around the base of the shaft, pressing down on the balls. This will cut off the blood (acting as an impromptu cock ring) and help you steady the shaft in your hand. If the skin on it is slick and immutable, you can stroke the penis with more friction, thereby enhancing the excruciating experience.

THE LOVE TUG
As you are stroking him, lightly pull on the wispy strands of pubic hair sprouting from his testicles. Don't pull so hard that you remove them, but tease them gently, lovingly. This will make him holler with delight and awe at your inventiveness.

THE TWO-TIMER
Tickle his balls with one hand while the other jerks him up and down.

THE THIGH-SWATTER
Use the hand that is currently unemployed to firmly but lovingly pat his inner thighs.

BEST FIST FORWARD
Place your fist against his perineum as you're stroking him. He'll probably start opening his legs a little wider, giving you more space to press against. Guaranteed to drive him wild.

THE MILKER
Opposite of the Anvil - Hands alternate 'milking' up the penis, starting at the base and working all the way up past the tip.

THE PERPETUAL PENETRATION
Like the Anvil, but rather than just grabbing the penis at the top, let his penis 'penetrate' into your fist on each stroke. Before the head of his penis pops out of your hand, bring the other hand up for the next penetration. This way it seems to him like he is penetrating deeper and deeper into an infinite vagina. Make sure you keep the penetration continuous for best results. Try faster or slower to taste.

THE PALM SWIRL
Use your open palm to swirl around the head, the way your tongue would lick an ice cream cone. This sensitizes the head, and will make it get larger and turn (even more) red. Try reversing direction for a surprise.

TINY CIRCLES
As in "The Palm Swirl", use your open palm on his glans, but stop at each "hour of the clock", and make circular motions with your open palm. This will make this part of the head EXTREMELY sensitive, so move to the next hour after a few circles.

THE RING
Make a ring with your thumb and forefinger, and pump up and down with this ring. When you get to the top, close the ring, then make him squeeze his way in as you slide back down to the bottom.

THE DOOR KNOB
Turn the head of his penis like a you're trying to open a door knob coated with grease. It won't turn, but he may flip. Now try turning the other way. Repeat.

THE SHAFT
Stroke only his shaft, ignoring the head. You will notice it swelling and turning red. When it's bright red and rock hard, use the Door Knob, the Palm Swirl, or the Perpetual Penetration.

THE SPOT PINCH
Lightly and slowly run a finger up the under side of his cock. Ask him to tell you where the most sensitive spot is. Pinch it, squeeze it, nibble it, tease it. This is a good spot to pinch to turn a soft cock rock solid.

As always, it is the psychological impact of what you are doing that makes the sex so satisfying. Let your mind escape into the uncharted wilderness of fantasy. As a sexual pioneer, it is your manifest destiny to explore the outer limits of your sensuality.