I have been married for 3 years, and sometimes i feel like i am tired of my husband. I get mixed emotions?

Question

Could it be that I am bored of him, or that i fell out of love for him, HELP!

Answer 1

Christ, why does every person on here say: you're bored, leave the relationship.

Look marriage isn't easy. It's not going to be easy; it’s going to get harder. If you have kids or run into financial problems it's going to get even harder. But there are going to be high moments, and there are going to be low moments. They can't all be great. Without the low moments, you have no perspective on how high the high is. When times are good, they are going to seem even better if you can make them through these rough patches.

If you get out of this relationship because you are bored, how are you going to ever love another person again? There is not a single person on this earth that you will never get bored with occasionally.

What you need to do, is think about the things that you guys did to fall in love with each other. If you need to take a vacation back to a honeymoon spot, do it. If you need to go out drinking at your old college bar, do it. If you need to go make love in the bushes outside of your parent’s house like you used to, do it. Bottom line, be open and honest with your spouse, and voice your frustration with boredom. You don't need to start making accusations about who does what, and who's selfish with this, or you never want to do this or anything. Just say: "honey, I need this_________. Wouldn't that be fun?" Being married is finding news ways to spark that old flame. That fire isn't going to start itself, you BOTH need to do it.

If you honestly can't think back to a time when you were in love, or the relationship has become abusive, only then should you consider splitting. There's also the possibility that you are dealing with depression. Several people develop seasonal affectionate disorder (S.A.D) this time of year that can make you question any feelings you have or have had. If you feel this may be the case, see a doctor, there are several treatments and lifestyle changes that can be done that don't necessarily require medication.

Good luck, and go talk to your husband.

Answer 2

You fell in love with him for a reason, right? The question you should be asking yourself is not: am I bored? It should be: Why am I bored, what do I need to do to fix it, and is it worth it?

People get bored: Fact. But you'll get bored of the next bloke, too. The key to having a good relationship is the ability to communicate! Talk with your husband, tell him how you feel... without accusing, or attacking him. Break it to him easy, so he doesn't feel threatened, and don't give ultimatums. Talk with each other about it... because if you stay bored, your marriage will die...

I am personally saddened by the fact that you might just give up. If that's what you want, fine... but if he treats you well, and doesn't hit you... then you need to realize that there are a lot of guys out there who would do that stuff... boredom is something that happens to everyone, and a relationship takes work... but you made a commitment to him... and it costs your honor, and faithfulness... basically... the two of you became one person... and it's hard... but don't just "give up." The reward is worth the effort.

Answer 3

More details...please! I have been married for almost 9 years. I have mixed emotions as well and would almost rejoice if she were to tell me she's leaving me. Okay, I'd be ecstatic. But, marriage is a lifetime committment and I owe it to her and the kids to live up to my end of the deal and try to make it a happy and fulfilling marriage. Right now, I am not happy or fulfilled and I don't feel like she is doing her part. Communicating that fact to her seems to be an impossible task because she not willing to receive the feedback even when she asks. On the other hand, it is a long stretch for me to abandon my family even for the personal fulfillment I am not now getting.

My point is, he may be just as tired of you. My other point is that at least in my opinion, it is all about the committment to being there for "better or worse" and not just for the good times and the fun times.

I hope it helps...

Answer 4

When people are married for any amount of time. It seems that they get used to "the routine of things" By that I mean, they get used to seeing the other person most every day, and sometimes do get bored. I don't think you should start packing just yet. Try and talk with him, and maybe you two could figure out a way to spice up things, and make the routine not so routine anymore. Good luck, hope everything works out. :)

Answer 5

this isn't an excellent marriage, yet then Lexie, you recognize this...you're good, you reside like a "caged animal" in a very actual experience because of his insecurities, jealousies, controlling behaviors. Wow. What a drag. replaced into he this kind beforehand you married him? Or did you basically not SEE it for what that is??? Is he needling you to get a pastime? Is that it? He feels you've too a lot time on your hands? even if the reason(s) in the back of the very gruesome habit and words? NO LOVING COUPLE SPEAKS to one yet another LIKE THIS until eventually they are TRASH. era. that's, a "no brainer" as they say. until eventually you 2 get some severe counseling and decide to maintain even if that is you may imagine you've? you're doomed and this courting WILL fail. this isn't a thanks to stay your existence at 25...were I you? i'd favor to "stay" with the horse "human beings" and under no circumstances this guy you call a "husband", that's for confident! (stunning creatures compared to some adult males for confident!) Grace

Answer 6

Do the things you did when you were first dating like going out to eat and to the beach or the park. Don't run at the first sign of trouble you both took the vows to be together through good and bad. Think about how hard it is to get married and how easy it is to get a divorce that ought to tell you a marriage takes work. I have been married for five years yes we had our ups and downs. Yes we had that boring stage you love him you just have ran out of stuff to do. Go out on dates...Enjoy each other because you dont want to divorce and find out to late that you both were meant for each other........Sit down together and talk find out what the other hobby is communicate comunication is a good soucre to find out what the root of the problem is. Just sit down take time out for each other espeically if both of you work.

Answer 7

well 3 yrs is not long of being married. did u guys go to a marriage counselor while u were engaged? cause tht would've helped. many couples come to me for help. its my job. i became a marriage counselor to do my best to keep couples 2gether. im tired of seeing all these parents leaving and forgettin bout how their kids will be affected....if u have kids plz think twice. dont put them in a situation tht they will have to choose between u 2. even if they are younger than they can really understand....u need to sit down wit him and talk to him about ur guys relationship and how u guys have changed since u have been 2gether. hope everything works out for u....happy holidays.

Answer 8

Well, It happens we have something in common. I have been married for 3 years just like you and there are times when I feel like I'm tire of my husband too. I feel like separating and movning on in life with my daughter, but I just can imagine life without him. There are times when I think is just that I'm used to being with him? or is it that I do love him? just like you said I get mixed emotions. There are times when I feel sad and don't know what to do but my little girls is what has motivated me she is everything to me. I hope that these helped you you are not the only one who feels that way. Maybe is time for you to move on.

Answer 9

Your in a rut. What-ever you do, don't leave or cheat. Just talk to your minister, couselor or a friend. It's something minor and can be fixed. Don't make the mistake I made and looked for greener pastures. Too much to loose and it's not worth it. Really seek help spicing your marriage up. Worth every ounce of effort and you won't regret it. Good Luck

Answer 10

You have to ask yourself what it is that drew you to your husband in the first place. What made you fall in love? What is different now and how can that be remedied? I would also consider that you may be depressed because of the holidays or something else. Sort out your feelings before you do anything major.