i have a problem with my daughter?

Question

i have found out she has been im a 39 year old man and she is only 11 the content is really graphioc between them what should i do should i talk to her or should i cancel her im and then talk to her

Answer 1

call the police. get them to lock his paedo *** in prison

Answer 2

I would put a block on the computer that blocks IM services and certain websites and only you can unlock them with a password. Don't delete any thing just yet... let the police check your computer so they can find that man. You need to find out if she gave away her address or any thing as well. At your daughter's age she is vulnerable and that is what child molestors look for... you need to tell her that she doesn't know what is on the other side of that computer and people online can manipulate others easier because when typing you control what you say and you don't see emotion in some one's face or voice. She is also way to young to be talking like she was, at this age she is going to make mistakes and this is not an area she wants to make mistakes in because they can ruin her life. By doing this at only 11, I would really keep a close watch on her for now on.

Answer 3

First delete IM, right away! Then call your local police department. They'll be able to track him down and possibley charge him for this. If the contents graphic, it can be considered an offense. Don't worry about saving the conversations, the IM service she uses has a record of all of the conversations that have occured (at least for a certain extent of time). This was drilled into our heads during assembley's about the danger of the internet.

Last, sit down with her. Tell her that she shouldn't be talking to people she doesn't know on the internet. Take away computer priveleges and only let her use it for homework, in a public place. Let her know the consequences of her actions. Tell her stories about people who talked to people they didn't know and ended up going missing. Its all very scary, especially to an 11 year-old.

Answer 4

I would im this 39 year old man, and tell him that your daughter is only 11 and that you will report him to the police! I would then cancel her im, and then tell her why!!She is 11 years old and very much a minor!! Her welfare is still your responsibility and this is definately not the sort of behaviour one expects from an eleven year old! This man is a paedophile!! There is no way their conversation is adult, unless he is playing at her level. As an adult, you soon pick up whether the responses from another im user are adult of child ... there is a vast difference .... he is old enough to be her father. I would certainly report this!

Answer 5

Of course, you need to talk to your daughter. You want her to know and learn of the consequences, right? It is wrong that she has been communicating with a much older man, but I don't think she fully understands why she should not. You have to understand that she is 11 years old and she is in an immature stage. Talk to her about the dangers of chatrooms and instant messaging... A chatroom was most likely where she first talked to him. Do you supervise her visits on the internet, do you even know her buddies' screennames? At that age, a parent needs to be really careful with their child. I do think that you should prevent her from talking online. I do not think that is age appropriate for her to do. She does not understand what the world is like, the unknown predators that people have shown they are capable to be. Who knows? Her guy friend may know information on where you live, her name, family information, hobbies and so on... Be more careful with your daughter.

Answer 6

Please first find out through IM yourself if he knows how old your daughter is.U Get on line and say something to him like you know I am only 11 right. If he agrees and says Of course. Then do not delete your account with the IM provider. Just take your computer away from your daughter. Go to the sex crimes unit of your police department, expalin your situation. Allow them acess to her IM account, then let them see the messge log
and determine if they have recourse. Once they have access to the account then delete it from your home computer.They will set up a meeting with him( sting operation) they may involve you they may not. They will arrest him and you have a rock soild case. Also how does your 11 year old know how to talk explict to a man.She is 11.

Answer 7

Call the police and then go to the prevented justice's website and post his name on there as a predator. Good luck and I would cancel her IM and have a long talk with her. Also look for pictures and stories of girls that have been raped and killed after meeting much older men on the internet.

Answer 8

talk to her first. Do not make her feel isolated and like she has no control - you want her to feel like you are someone she can talk to, and she wants to talk WITH you, not have you talk at her.

That said, she needs to be kept safe - you'll have to call the police. Make sure though, she knows SHE HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG - HE is the one who needs punishment, just let her know that this is wrong and must stop, but that she can always talk to you.

Perhaps talk to HER about whether you should cancell he IM? Make her feel like she is a part of the decision, she needs to feel like she has some control, like you respect her; maybe suggest keeping it monitered and that if it's all good after a set period you'll stop monitoring? but that if it happens again it'll be cancelled straight away? ... she had her warning that way...

let her know it's all because you love her and want her safe.

Answer 9

She is your daughter and you know best remeber i would definatly delete her im but before hand gather as much info on this man as poss and as much proof as poss you should try emailing him and telling him her age and note you will report him if he makes anymore contact shes a baby still and hes a perv thats oviuos it has to stop right away before things get too out of hand.To be truthful id just go straight ahead and report him before even consulting your daughter and ban her from the net.shes too young to infect her mind with the evil dirty things these internet stalkers do.

Answer 10

You need to stop this NOW. That is not right, and your daughter might get hurt, physicallly or psycologically if she gets too involved with this guy. Cancel her IM, talk to her about why it's not okay to be talking to older men online, and if you continue to be bothered by this guy, call the police. Nothing is worth your daughter's safety.

Answer 11

its so hard cos if my mum found me talking dirty with a guy of the internet i would be horrified! and would hate her knowing what had been said..

but if u cancel her account she will get so mad at u and know the reason why...

is there any way u can bring the topic up without mentioning any specific things u have read? for instance..ask her if she ever talks to men off the 'net..and see if she is honest with u..

Dont over react like most ppl are telling u to, just find out if he knows she is 11..she probably didnt tell him..i nevr tell ppl my real age and nevr have done when im on the 'net