Does Therapy Work?

Question

There are a number of sex/intimacy issues in my marriage that may benefit from therapy (so I am told.) My problem is that rarely if never do I see feedback from people on the web who actually went to therapy and indicate that it helped resolved such issues in their marriage. Thus my current mind set is that therapy is at best a waste of time and money and at worst something that could build up my hopes only to have them crushed. Is there someone out there who can come to the boards with an outline of what there problem is/was and how a therapist helped? Thanks

Answer 1

ok, I realize that the people who already commented on this didn't actually answer your direct question, and I'm not going to, either. But here's what I think: Couples therapy can help couples understand eachother and what is going on in a relationship. That doesn't mean it solves it;... it might give you clarity on the fact that you want different things from life than your partner does, that you have different values, that you want different things in bed, that s/he is too afraid of further intimacy to work with you, or any number of things that you don't *really* want to learn. On the other hand, it could help you understand eachother better in a way that allows you to better meet eachother's needs, and move forward in the relationship in a wonderful and beautiful way. But if you decide to go that route, take advantage of the "free introductory 1/2 hour session" that many therapists offer, and look until you find one that you BOTH feel comfortable with, because otherwise it really is a waste of time and money.

Answer 2

Therapy is never a waste of time. It depends who you see. Sexual Problems are often as a result of childhood sexual abuse and if one of the partners was subjected to this, counselling to overcome the underlying trauma needs to be addressed. Rejection is also something that leads to problems in this area. Guilt about previous sexual occurences with other people leads to sexual problems. All these issues have to be addressed. In most cases it stems from self hatred, a disgust for sex and a bad mind-set. If it comes from your partner, try wooing your partner. Be gentle and not forceful. Tell your partner how much you love her. Teach her to learn to trust you and show her that nothing and no one will ever come in between you two. Learn to slowly coax her back to where you need her to be. Dont resort to trashy videos.

God made sex and he made it good, but the world has made it sleezy and dirty when in actual fact it is deemed to be the most wonderful act between a husband and wife referred to as a Holyt Covenant. The bible also says the sex bed is totally undefiled. The SOngs of Solomon is about beautiful deep meaningful and loving sex (if possible buy the MESSAGE BIBLE to appreciate the SOngs of Solomon.)

Sometimes I feel it better to seek the help of CHristian counsellors who can show you all that GOd says on the subject.

Your partner has deep problems that do need addressing and you might need to try harder to understand what caused the deep wounds in her. Its tough but trust me there are so many walking wounded out there and if we are wanting to make a difference we need to do everything in our power to help people heal up again.

GOd bless you as you find out what path to take. MAy the two of you grow sodeeply in love that things just happen anyway for the good. Seek the Lord whild He may yet be found.

Perhaps a good book for you is Wild at Heart by John Eldredge and Captivating by his wife Stace for your wife. THere is a good place to start. Please seriously consider these books.
GOd richly bless you both.

Answer 3

Therapists are just someone objective to talk to who have an understanding of how human behavior affects our quality of life. So they can help put things into prospective for you. However, I am not a therapist and I could probably help you just as much, maybe more. So I think their overrated, but "therapy" is self discovery and then taking action to undue, untie, and unlearn.

Answer 4

It works only if you are in the right state of mind for it to work. Mostly it is self discovery which many people can do on their own. Or on a chat site where a few thousand people will give you advice. It´s cheaper and usually faster.

Answer 5

A marrage counselor is a neutral 3rd party that forces you to address the issues in your life and communicate with your partner without yelling and forces them to actively listen to you. They have no magic cure to make your marriage work. Only you can do that. I went to marriage counseling before I got married. It helps you to address conflicts in your relationship and come to an agreement before you are wed.

My ex-fiancee has children and didn't want anymore. I don't have children but want them someday. We were different religions and I thought it wouldn't bother me because I don't consider myself religious but later discovered that the basic differences in our religion caused problems. We had different goals and ambitions in life. The marriage counselor helped us to recognize that we love each other but shouldn't get married before we made a mistake.

Answer 6

Only if you want it to work. Somtimes it is the best thing to have some listen to you it helps.

Answer 7

Therapy only works if you allow it to-----it is up to you to decide on going or not.

Answer 8

sometimes it better to make ways to help yourself i dd