i'm i been to strict to my 3 week old??

Question

i feed him, i cleaned him, i'm very sure that he is very full, i played with him, and he keeps on rooting, i know that all he wants to do is suck on my breast and fall asleep, but i dont want him to just play with my breast, yesterday i let him cry it out for 3 minutes, when i came back and talk to him, i masage him for alittle with out picking him up and he felt asleep, i did the same today, i'm i been to tough on the little guy?? any advice???

Answer 1

Hes 3 weeks old. You should always feed on DEMAND. They are too small to be spoiled. You can't be strict with a 3 week old, you just have to tend to all his needs. Feed him until he is done. A breastfed baby will want to eat every 1 1/2 to 2 hours. You should feed him at least 20 min on each side. If he falls asleep while eating try to wake him until he is finished. There is no teaching or training of a 3 week old, they are too small, and there only job is to eat and sleep so they can grow. If you know for sure he is not still hungry, they get him a pacifier, so you can satisfy his natural desire to suck.
Babies that age, can fall asleep while feeding, but does not mean that they are satisfied. If your baby drinks for only a few minutes and drifts off, of course it will still be hungry and will wake for more. You have to make sure that your baby drinks enough from each breast by stiring him. Even 3 weeks later after birth, your baby will still get very sleepy, and its your job as its mother to make sure he ate enough. If you are sure he has had enough and probably just want to suck, then a pacifier will do the job.
Remember, you cannot spoil a baby before the age of 6 months old. There is nothing wrong with picking up your baby and comforting him.

Answer 2

Can you imagine how you would feel if you were hungry or thirsty and someone withheld food and instead massaged you?

A three-week-old newborn isn't "playing with your best" any more than any infant who has a bottle or a pacifier or a thumb is playing with any of those. Right now he is a newborn and isn't capable of "wanting" to do anything.

Also, it isn't really possible for you to be the one to be "very sure" somebody else's belly is full.

You're aware, though, that if you put anything near a newborn infant's cheek he'll automatically root? Is there any chance you're doing something to make him do that? If you're not doing anything to trigger his rooting instinct I think you ought to assume he still wants to drink and let him.

Babies change from month to month when it comes to what they do. Whatever he doesn't necessarily mean he'll develop some lifelong habit that he isn't going to break.

Babies, though, don't always just cry when they're hungry; so it never hurts to pick them and try to figure out what it is they need. They learn that their mother will always do her best to keep him feeling comfortable, which makes them feel safe and secure - which is one of the most important things. If you meet his needs now and make him feel super-secure and safe and loved it he'll be an easier baby to deal with later, when you do have to establish some basic "rules" about sleeping etc.

Crying means he's in distress for some reason. Doing what you have to to get him out of distress as soon as possible will prevent him from getting "stress chemicals" going, which could affect his brain development. If you're really talking about three minutes and no longer it probably isn't the end of the world, but people who say its ok to let babies cry and its good for their lungs are absolutely wrong.

Answer 3

As a mother you do what is best for your baby. But, if your baby wants to cuddle you and you don't have anything better to do you should allow it. He feels the need for comfort. A child this age is too young to know how to manipulate you. Babies need comfort and warmth. A child this age can't become spoiled. Once they reach about six months old it is okay to let them cry if all they want is a drink of your soda. If he sucks on your breast to fall asleep it's comforting and you should feel loved by your baby. A baby this age should not have to cry himself to sleep. I think you may be looking at him from the wrong stand point. He is a baby, and has no malicous thoughts. All he knows is that being near you feels good. If you are willing to stand over his crib why not just pick him up for the same amount of time. I'm sure you love your baby, and you are meeting his needs. Don't be too hard on yourself, but maybe you can find another way to meet his needs. Try a binky while you cuddle him to sleep.

Answer 4

He may just want to suck on something. If breastfeeding is going great, you could consider a pacifier. Check with your doctor to make sure that breastfeeding is indeed going well, and that your baby is having appropriate amounts of wet and poopy diapers AND reasonable weight gain... He probably is having at least 6-8 wet diapers per day if he is getting enough food/hydration. I agree with the other answers in that if he fell asleep without too many problems after a few minutes of massage, he probably isn't real hungry... If he was not getting enough food, he would cry a lot longer and let you know! ;)

Answer 5

For the first six to eight weeks, you should be nursing on demand to build up your milk supply. You cannot overfeed a breastfeeding baby, it's too much work for HIM to keep nursing just for fun. You don't say how often he nurses, because newborn nurslings can be full, and completely digest milk proteins in less than two hours. But establishing a supply of milk should be your priority right now. Not nursing enough will cause your milk to decrease, even those little snacks will help, which is the number one cause of mom's thinking they aren't capable of breastfeeding, or that their children aren't getting enough.

Once he reaches six or eight weeks, depending on his size, he might nurse less often. Or if he just wants to be nurtured, pick him up and rock him. He's brand new to this world, and still unsure of it.

I'd hate to say you're doing fine, I've read of too many horror stories of moms who thought they were creating a good routine, but instead created a baby with failure to thrive. If you honestly are feeding him every two hours, and when he's rooting nurses for only a few minutes, then I'd say continue, esp if being independant at a young age is very important to your family.

Answer 6

yes i think u are definitely being too harsh on the little one.
I'm doing early childhood education and my lecturer asked us this question before "whether to carry the baby and "spoil" him or let him cry "
the answer is the carry the baby.
even if it means that u are spoiling him.
i also learnt that if u don't carry the baby,
he will be an angry baby.
he will learn that the world is not trustful;
that when he cries, he wont get any response.
i know u might think it is ridiculous but
actually babies and preschoolers (up to around 6-8 years old)
pick up the most out of the world around them.
so if the world around them is not trustful,
they will always believe that the people around them cannot be trusted.
although in this case, the baby might be spoilt..
but you have to gain trust from the baby first before you can disicipline him.
if the foundation is not there ( that is if the baby dont trust you)
the rest of the other methods might not even work at all.

Answer 7

Honey-do some reading! 1st he's too young to CIO I mean I let my son cry but not until age 6 months. They simply don't posses the ability to self soothe until that age. Google Ferber Method.

2nd babies go though 2-3 growth spurts before the age of 6 weeks. He's not just wanting to play with your breast he's going through a growth spurt and needs more milk, to get more milk he has to suck more, the more the nurses the more milk you produce, breastmilk is all about supply and demand, he is demamnding more so you will supply more to meet his growing needs. This is normal, it will pass.

I have a 5 week old and he nursed CONSTANTLY from 2 weeks until 4 weeks, now 5-10 minutes and he's usually done.

Please check out the links in the sources and learn more anout your newborn.

Answer 8

Let him nurse. It isn't a bad habit. He wants YOU. He wants contact with you. He wants to nurse, while means not just food to him, but comfort and love. You can't nurse too much and comfort nursing won't hurt either of you. Also, he may be hitting a 3 week growth spurt right now and he may actually be needing to nurse more often.

Keep in mind.....you're NOT a "human pacifier." The pacifier (or "dummy" as they are called in some parts of the world) is a subsitute for MOM, not the other way around.

When a 3 week old crys, he crys to communicate a true NEED and not to manipuate you.

Answer 9

Babies under 6 weeks to not always know when they are hungry and can easily be distracted. It is best to offer food EVERY time your baby routes, crying is a late sign of hunger and in some very small babies they never do. Babies also require nearly constant human contact for proper development.

Under 6 weeks you are still building your supply, the non-nutritive sucking helps to make sure you have enough milk.

Also consider these two statements "I don't want my baby to use me as a pacifier", "I don't want my baby to use a pacifier as a mommy". They are both valid points of view, however with most extremes, the truth is often in the middle.

The fact that you are asking this question tells me that your little voice, the one we are all equipped with to tell us right from wrong, is speaking to you! Listen to it! It is a good guide!

Here is a good article about why touch and response to crying is very important:
http://askdrsears.com/html/10/t131200.asp

And the best site for breastfeeding information:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/newborn-nursing.html

I can't tell you what is right or wrong for your baby and you. However you must trust in yourself and your parenting instincts and weigh any advice you get. Because you will get tonnes, most of it completely contradictory and very often wrong.

Answer 10

you have to remember that at that young of an age, he is constantly going through growth spurts. The more he suckles, the more milk you will produce, the more he eats and the quicker he gets full. He has a ravenous appetite, it is okay to let him cry when you know he is full. But right now, the main way he knows to stay close is to be hungry. I don't think your being too tough. You need your time too other wise you will go insane.

Good luck