My grandad died last weekend and it was the funeral today but i am not upset, and i dont feel upset. I havent felt upset at all. why is this? am I normal. I was close to my grandad and saw him many times a week when he was alive.
2006-12-22 04:33:05 · 28 answers · asked by amy c 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
there are different stages of grief:
shock
denial
anger
upset
recovery with time (you don't necessarily 'get over it' but learn to handle it better)
it is generally accepted that it is best to pass through these stages as soon as possible so you can get on with your life. but this is mostly not the case. different individuals can get stuck in any or a few of these stages for protracted periods of time.
sounds like you are still inshock and havent absorbed the event. you may feel 'normal' enough to be in a positionto use this time to support the others who are possibly in a later more difficult stage of grief. hopefully they will return the favour of support to you when you arrive at those stages.
2006-12-22 04:47:53 · answer #1 · answered by Chintot 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do as far as I am concerned is..... celebrate the wonderful years and memories that you have with him. Maybe you didnt get upset because you know that he is in a better place and that you will see him again someday. It is always hard when you lose a loved one around the holidays...my grandpa died on Christmas day and my grandmother that raised me died just before Christmas a couple years ago. While I miss them greatly, I know that they are together again in heaven.
Best wishes for a peaceful Christmas...God bless you and your family.
2006-12-22 13:03:22 · answer #2 · answered by Kimberly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be repressing or denying your feelings (defense mechanisms). I've had a similar situation where as when you find out someone is dying or died, you're first reaction is shell shock and then sometime later (there is no specific time set), you'll feel the sadness and it'll pour out of you. You also may understand the concept of death being inevitable and depending on your religious beliefs, the concept of an afterlife or reincarnation (etc.)
My thoughts are with you
2006-12-22 12:46:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anitec 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Any reaction you have is "normal". Don't let your reaction get you down. The way you are handling it is the best way your body knows to handle it. Let the process go naturally. If you feel like, you might need to cry, certainly take a moment to allow the tears to come. If you don't, maybe your body just isn't to that point in the grieving process yet. Any way you feel is OK and best for you as an individual.
2006-12-22 12:42:58 · answer #4 · answered by psugorillagirl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
when my dad died in july, I was upset when he died, and I cried a bit at the funeral, but then it was 2 or 3 weeks before it really hit me. And ever since then, I cry all the time. When it is your time to greve, you will. I am so very sorry for your loss! God bless you and merry christmas
2006-12-22 12:42:34 · answer #5 · answered by mag 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People reacts to death of near and dear ones differently according to their philosophy of life, their love and attachment to the dead. Some yells, some cries, some keep silent, some look normal treating it as a normal phenomenon. So, nobody can visualize how people around the dead are going to react. In any case, their reaction is normal to themselves. Others may interprete their reactions as per their own convictions.
2006-12-23 04:40:54 · answer #6 · answered by Titu66 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be more intelligent and mature enough to truly understand the nature of Life and Death. Your Grandad loved you and wouldn't want you to be upset.
Just reflect on all the good times you did have together!
2006-12-22 12:36:33 · answer #7 · answered by Bugmän 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
When it may be too painful your mind tends to block out memories that might bring pain, thus you feel as if you are not upset. Then, 6 months, 4 years, whatever from now, it ambushes you all at once and brings you to your knees.
We all grieve differently.
2006-12-22 12:36:51 · answer #8 · answered by Dane 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Was he a Christian and you know he is in a better place? Sometimes when we see them suffer, we feel relief for them when they die. Some people hold up well during the funeral and a few days after realize their loss.
2006-12-22 12:40:35 · answer #9 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you're just a little more emotionally mature than you gave yourself credit for and it has come as a bit of a shock to you?
Either that... or you realized that you are not in the will... That'll do it too...
Death isin't the end. Smart people know that.
2006-12-22 12:37:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋