do our parents be harsh to us for our own benefit?

Answer 1

Yes. It is easier to maintain control of children by being harsh with them, therefore it is to the parent's own benefit to do so. However, it is often to the detriment of those children in the long run.

You see, harshness begets harshness. If you often yell at your child, your child is more likely to become a person who yells. If you often beat a child, your child will grow up thinking that physical violence is a normal way to solve problems. Being harsh in general will not only lower your child's self esteem by whittling away at it over time, but it will also encourage them to be harsh with others in society which leads to other problems down the road that will make your child's life more difficult.

The problem is that although being harsh (or "stern" as some parents describe themselves) with children may be an easier tactic, the road less traveled will almost always yield better results: But many parents just don't want to put forth the extra effort.

That's right, it takes a lot more effort NOT to be harsh with kids. You have to work at it. You have to be able to get your ideas across to them without beating it over their heads, and if you're not a child psychologist that can pose quite a challenge, especially if you yourself are under stress over finances, relationships, your job and all the other concerns adults are faced with on a daily basis.

You have to bring yourself down to their level and be able to think the way they think, communicate the way they communicate, and somehow maintain your parental authority and credibility at the same time. Basically what it comes down to is you have to put all that other $hit on the back burner that you're so concerned with and PUT YOUR CHILDREN FIRST.

I hear a lot of adults say that. "My kids come first". But then I watch them at home going out almost every weekend, sitting at a computer or in front of a sports program every day ignoring their kids till the kids "bother" them enough, then yelling at them; basically putting pretty much EVERYTHING before their children, and I think, "Do you even understand the concept of PARENThood?" Parenthood's supposed to be about parenting, not just having sex, making a baby, changing a few diapers, then letting Elmo take over from there, or barking them into submission....

Great question...

Answer 2

How old are you? Make a determination, if, you are able to decide is it for your benefit or are they
just harsh.
Most children think parents are harsh, the reality is there are times when all of the minds are on different tracks. Most parents just want the child to have the benefit of their experience.
All parents worry about just getting the child raised in one piece. BECAUSE we LOVE them.

Answer 3

Yes, parents are harsh for our own benefit. It's true, but sometimes they over do it. Like punishing use something that isn't are fault. But we still love them anyway

Answer 4

Spare the rod; Spoil the child.

I believe they discipline us because they want the best for us. Those who truly love their children discipline them!

I honestly don't know where I would be if my parents didn't love me enough to show me right/wrong.

But 'HARSH' is the word I have a problem with. Discipline doesn't have to be harsh to get the point across.

Answer 5

Harsh is could be your opinion....got the "own benefit" part kind of right tho.

Merry Christmas

Answer 6

Yes.
My mother being harsh with me has helped me to develop into a responsible adult.
I know it sucks while you are under their jurisdiction, but you will be happy when you're an adult and you see that what they have taught you and what they warned you about has benefited you greatly in the long run.

Answer 7

Being a mom of two younger boys...yes we have to sometimes so that they understand whats right and what is wrong. I dont want to see my kids get hurt because I didnt want them to see any pain that I might tell them or have to explain to them. Some trials and tribulations they will have to endure themselves but they need a little guidance along the way. I am 30 and I still need that sometimes. Its a learning process for everyone and when my boys say they hate me....they will turn around once they think about it and realize that mom isnt doing it to hurt them. I am doing it so they learn and grow with their wisdom and become great adults.

Answer 8

Yes, they do. Todays world is filled with a lot of challenges and good and bad people. They just want to protect you from things that might hurt you or take advantage of you. They do not want you to grow up to quickly and will try to steer you in the right direction to live a fullfilling life. As much as you may hate it now, you will be thankful later on.

Answer 9

To instill good morals in a child a parent does not have to be harsh, only firm.

Answer 10

they think they do

I think if you are fair with kids, they will respect you.

Always say WHY you are insisting on something. Or making a rule.

No playing on the third rail, etc.

Then they might even notice that when they disobey, there are real consequences. And they will notice that you care about them and have some wisdom for them too.