Does this paragraph make sense, and how would I reword it into something that does make sense?

Question

Now that I am familiar with all aspects of the business (thanks to Pat) I will begin by formulating the sales training document. Since Pat as a great working relationship with the sales team, I will utilize Pat’s knowledge in formulating the budget. As well, Terry has designed the collateral. I will asses the collateral, perform quality control, and give final approval for the collateral. Since it takes time to print and deliver the collateral, the order must be given in to the manufacturers by the end of week 2.

I have received quotes from printing companies, and I have decided on one company, and we agreed on a budget. I have now finished the training document with the help of Pat, and I will send this out to the sale staff. Once the training document is done, I can now concentrate on other documents that are necessary (booklets, posters, information documents…) All revisions will be done in week 3, so that it can be ready for week 5-6. Pat will be a vital recourse in this t

Answer 1

Huh?

Answer 2

Now that I am familiar with all aspects of the business, I am able to begin formulating the sales training document. I will also utilize Pat’s knowledge in formulating the budget.

Terry has designed the collateral. I will asses the collateral, perform quality control, and give final approval for the collateral. Since it takes time to print and deliver the collateral, the order must be submitted to the manufacturers by the end of week 2.

I have received quotes from printing companies, and have agreed on a budget.

I have completed the rough draft of the training document with Pat assistance, and I will forward a copy to the sale staff. With completion of the training document, I can now concentrate my efforts toward other documents that are necessary (booklets, posters, information documents…) All revisions will be done in week 3, so that it can be ready for week 5-6.

What does not make sense is...in the first paragraph you state your beginning the formulation process...in the last paragraph you've completed the process.....how did you do that when you were busy writing this memo??

Answer 3

I think it's fine but also do the following:

1) Add a title
2) Your opening and closing sentence should be that same thing but in different word
3) use Webster.com to help you find some better word of usage