my husband is pretty commandin...and freakin egois!! before i use to act calm n nice..and i'm always be de 1st who make an apology..but i guess thts enough,hes a way too much! how can i handle him..i really need tips how should i respond when hes commandin me too much and being so egois!
2006-12-22 01:58:55 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
trust me honey I know what u'r going through.
My hubby is like that too but I've learnt to live with it, don't get me wrong... I love him but I know that no matter what he won't change. I am trying to be more patient and believe that if I treat him sweetly when he is being a bastard then he will change. Remember u can catch more bees with honey than with .... (forgot the rest)
2006-12-22 02:03:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here are some of the options that you have>>>
1- Give him his way all the time and do without what you need, do without your happiness... or love yourself enough to make sure your needs are fulfilled, and make sure YOU are happy.
2- Stand up to him and don't back down, because you deserve and have the right to be treated respectfully.
3- Pray that he'll behave better (have a change of heart and change of attitude).
4- See if he'll go to counseling (together).
5- Have someone he looks up to, to talk to him, who will try to get him to face the truth about what he's doing to you.
6- If none of the above works out, then realize that you don't have to stay in that situation if you don't want to, and that you have the choice to stay or to go.
I hope and pray things work out for you.
2006-12-22 10:20:31 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that a marriage is a partnership not one person controlling the other. If he starts barking commands at you...walk away and continue what you were doing. Talk to him and tell him that if he would speak to you in a kinder way things would be much better. You have to talk to him about your feelings if your relationship is going to work. Marriage involves 2 people, and the emotional and physical needs of 2 people. It sounds like he's in love with himself. Call him on it and see how he responds. I wish you luck.
2006-12-22 10:14:03 · answer #3 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know quite a few women who had made the same mistake. They get married to a man who thinks he's King Solomon, and then try to be this obedient, submissive wife. Teh problem comes when later one when you get tired of acting submissive and patient, but now he's also used to you being that way. He's not gonna listen to you at this point, cause you have already set a precedent. I'm the dominant one in my marriage, but my husband is no pushoever, and he lets me know that. I can shout and command all I want, but until I calm down he's not giving in to me.
2006-12-22 10:09:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I bet he doesn't even realize that he is being commanding and egotistical. He might even feel as if you are trying to dominate him, and his behavior is a defense mechanism.
I think all of us tend to present ourselves a little differently that we think we do.
Try to have an honest caring discussion with him about how the two of you communicate. Ask him how he feels when you argue, and tell him how you feel.
Consider talking to a counselor to help you develop better skills as a couple.
2006-12-22 10:17:11 · answer #5 · answered by DorkBait 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You created a monster! LOL, just kidding! no, seriously..start putting your foot down, quit apologizing first, you should explain to him that marriage is not about demands & taking control. You folks are a team & should discuss it maturely when your not agreeing. Let him know he's disrespecting you & it hurts. enough is enough. Let him know you want to resolve things together, no compete over them.
2006-12-22 10:33:20 · answer #6 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boundaries and communication. There acceptable and non acceptable behaviors. If he does not want to meet you half way and give mutual respect...he must not be the one for you! Sometimes we just pick the wrong mate...
2006-12-22 10:04:42 · answer #7 · answered by Naynay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will change when you start dishing it out ...in spades.Have an affair.when he knows about it,it will be the biggest blow to his ego.Or flirt with other men when he is around.
2006-12-22 10:14:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just ask my husband sarcastically who the fu*k does he think he is talking to? he better recognize and step. then we laugh our asses off. says he always has to give it a try, to see if he can push me. never works.
good luck to you, change is hard for most, you will be lucky to get him to change, since he has probably been treating you this way for years.
communicate your feelings to him.
2006-12-22 10:17:48 · answer #9 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hand him a safety pin and tell him you have a very special gift for him. He won't understand what you mean. Explain it to him:
POP THAT EGO.
2006-12-22 10:03:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋