found out he had been using viagra. losing "it" in the middle of the groove and now just avoiding sex altogether. He initiated last week and the same thing happened after a long gap in time. I decided to join him on the sofa this morning while he was looking at the news caught him pretending to be sleeping including fake snoring. The only way I got him to participate at all was with no pressure of nothing more than touching and he was all for it and all into it. But I because he's failed so many times before he didn't even try. HELP me understand guys....
2006-12-22 01:58:01 · 7 answers · asked by Jakkie F 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
To answer the gentleman of why I posted to the gay/bi/trans site didn't know i did but doesn't make a difference 2 me just looking for help. I appreciate all and any help and actually all answers have been really good. I'm grateful...I feel much better (smiling now) got a lot of things to try :-)
2006-12-22 03:38:10 · update #1
it can be psychological or physiological.
either way, I can tell you it is probably eating him up inside and guys generally suck and letting others know how they feel inside.
Work with him to get a doctors appt so that he can find out what is happening. There are some serious issues that can be related to this so the sooner the better.
*hugs* good luck!
2006-12-22 02:13:25 · answer #1 · answered by Tegarst 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It can be a mental pressure for him to perform. Some folks don't perform well under pressure. When he can't get it to behave like when he was a teenager, that adds to the angst. If the viagra won't do it--hey, they might make those other brands for some reason other than just the money! Some folks find that when one treatment doesn't work a different treatment might. So see if he could try levitra or cialis instead.
You might also offer to see a marriage counselor, because there might be some mental issue that is an additional burden. In my own case, I sometimes harber some resentment. I get turned down a dozen times before my wife says yes and then she wonders why I'm not the energetic stag when suddenly out of the blue she wants it.
Try this, "Honey, how about we simply do some hugging and kissing like we did when we were dating? No pressure, no need to "perform" for me, just love me for a little while, okay?" If it just becomes some, as we used to say, "necking" and perhaps a little "petting" then that is some physical affection that might, the next time, or the time after, get him up good for going all the way. Give it a try, a low expectation, simple smooch and casual grope time. Even if he doesn't get a rise out of it, it would be better than watch him fake a good snore, right?
2006-12-22 10:29:46 · answer #2 · answered by Rabbit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all erectile dysfunction and impotence are totally different things. It sounds like he may be suffering with a bit of erectile dysfunction....and probably has been diagnosed as such if he has Viagra legally.
Many (most) men experience this at some point in their lives...if he is seeing a Dr for it he is on the right track. ED can be an indicator of a lot of other health problems, including diabetes, excess alcohol consumption, vascular conditions, stress and other stuff. So if he is not seeing a Dr make sure he does.
ED can be emotionally devastating for a man, so be a little sensitive how you deal with this.
2006-12-22 10:13:53 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you've already got a handle on it. Sometimes impotence can be made wporse by pressure to perform - yours or his own self imposed pressure.
You made it playful, fun, no pressure. Kepp that up and it'll start helping him keep it up.
Let him know you love him regardless - you do, don't you?
Find ways to spend time close that's non sexual. Cuddling, going out, etc. Help his self esteem, cause I'm sure he feels like stomped on dog crap about all this.
2006-12-22 10:31:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something that should probably be discussed with a doctor. There could be an underlying medical condition causing the 'impotency'.
2006-12-22 10:02:27 · answer #5 · answered by ~*BS~MRA~Girl*~ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I totally agree with September on this issue.
There might be a medical problem that could cause this problem.
I'd suggest to see a doctor.
He might be having very serious problems.
For instance with his prostate.
Don't delay,go.
Greetings Rob.
2006-12-22 10:11:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Impotence doesn't stop you of having lots of fun. Be creative.
2006-12-22 10:01:11 · answer #7 · answered by elgil 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋