I am very dipressed with this situation. My father in law is very abusive and agressive towards all of us in our family. So, i dont wish that he comes and stays with us. But now, my mother in law tries to convince my husband with her emotions that she wants to be with her grandkids and as my father in law is very abusive towards her, it's his son duty to keep him happy in all condition. So, She expects that my husband should explain me that I should forget the things happened in past and should adjsut with my father and mother in laws if i have real love for my husband. I am very much worried as my husband just listens to his Mom and he many times assures her by telling that she is more important to him than myself. So, I dont see any chance that he will restrict my father in law to stay with us and i already suffered a lot in past because of them. Please, help me out.
2006-12-22 01:47:05 · 13 answers · asked by M J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do what you have to do to keep that abusive man away from your children...even if it means a divorce. Your children are more important than what hubby's mommy and daddy want.
2006-12-22 01:53:13 · answer #1 · answered by slick chik 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't let that Father in Law live with you, if you have any control at all.
Your husband's duty is to maintain peace in his home, take care of your needs and and his kids needs.
He needs to put you first. Parents should never become a burden to their children and your mother and father in law are being SELFISH.
You married a grown man, so while is he still holding onto to his mommy's apron strings?
Why can't your in-laws find their own place to live?
2006-12-22 01:58:36 · answer #2 · answered by vicarious_notion 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and have a talk with your husband. YOU should be first in his life, not his mother/father. Your KIDS come first too. Your husband should not want to expose either of you to his abusive father. I would make sure my visits with them were in a public place, not in my home, so he will temper himself. Tell your husband that until he can work out a more pleasant situation for you and the kids to visit with the inlaws, he can visit with them alone. I don't blame you one bit. If he won't protect you from his parents, he won't protect you from anyone. But you don't have to take it, honey. Godloveya.
2016-05-23 15:30:51 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your home too and if your wishes aren't met, then I'd pack up the kids and go stay at a motel. Yep, you heard me right.............IF your hubby is such a p*ssy and makes mom more important than YOU, he no more deserves you than his mom deserves the grandkids.
You need to put your foot down, it's either you and the kids first or he can just go to his mom and dads instead of them coming to your home. Then if he does, pack his sh*t and make sure he's rejected by you until he can make the proper choice.
IF there is NO WAY you can afford a motel and have to stay........run out and buy a bunch of laxitive and make a special batch of cookies just for the hubby, mom, and dad in law. ( tell them there is booze in them and the kids can't have any) Let them all sh*t their brains out along with their controling ways.
2006-12-22 02:05:16 · answer #4 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You , your husband, and children are a family. You should talk to your husband and set some rules, re guarding your in-laws. They have no right to tell you how to run your family and your husband is wrong in putting his mother first.
You both need some serious therapy!
2006-12-22 01:54:54 · answer #5 · answered by rustybones 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
from the beginning when she walks in Ur home show her this is Ur home , ur in charge don't let her tell u what to do if she says something to offend u simply ignore her act as if what ever she says doesn't bother u but keep ur self calm and in control at all times , do what u need to do only speak to them when asking or answering there Q's that's the best way to handle them , but always respect ur self and them . so they don't have anything bad to say about u the less u say the better . good luck
2006-12-22 08:03:24 · answer #6 · answered by amal L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The concept of control encourage divisions. First try to have perfect understanding with your husband and later try to win her with love. Be firm, but not follow her in using abusive and aggressiveness. It need lot of patience.. If your husband himselves is not with you, first think on how to win over him.
2006-12-24 03:37:57 · answer #7 · answered by naren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell you husband if he allows his abusive father in your house, you will kick his *** if he starts any crap with you! His mother you are not and he will find that out the hard way.
2006-12-22 02:06:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been through this. It cost me my marriage. Handle her right out the door before the same happens to you.
2006-12-22 01:53:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
no one should be living in your home, your mother in law just wants to get rid of him, and get him out of her life, don't do it don't allow it if u value your marriage, as it will destroy the marriage. he needs to stand up to his mom, who is pushing him into this, by manipulation, but she doesn't seem to care about what this difficult man will do to your marriage. tell them no and stand firm or he will be in your home.
2006-12-22 01:58:54 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋