My husband and I have been seperated for the past year and a half and during that year I meet another man who I feel in love with but because of what my husband had put me throuhg I found it hard to show him how much I cared. He recently broke things off with me telling me he meant every word about wanting to be with me and marry one day but he wouldnt let him self do that.... that I pushed him away and it was to late. My husband came to my house today (we havent seen each other in about 8 months) and we were in the car and he grabbed my hand and I held his but wishing it was the other man. What do I do I love the other man and I believe he will come back how do I get him back and what is best for me to do?
2006-12-22 01:37:16 · 14 answers · asked by Lostandconfussed 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do what is best for the children.
2006-12-22 01:40:31 · answer #1 · answered by victorschool1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love this new man, deal with your issues of not being able to show you care. I have a feeling you are afraid to take the risk again. That in letting yourself show love again, you are opening yourself up for pain & hurt. This may be true, but if you don't you will miss the "dance". Ask yoursel if this man is worth the dance. If you show him love and for some reason the relationship fails will you regret the "involvement"? Or will you look back and say "Wow, what a ride! I wouldn't have missed it for anything"?
I have found that hiding from pain can make a person very lonely. Everything worth having involves risk.
As for the ex...I went that route before as well. IMHO it's extremely difficult to go back. There are generally old unresolved issues that will come back up. And if you love this new man, the ex is not an option.
Hope I helped & Good Luck
2006-12-22 09:49:00 · answer #2 · answered by novemberraininmysoul 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of how things work out with guy #2, you have to DIVORCE guy #1. Being separated and not commiting to a divorce doesn't really give off the impression that you are willing to move forward with anyone. It shows that you are still holding on to something, even though it may not be much. It is not surprising that the other guy felt like you were pushing him away. If you start taking those steps, and go back to guy #2 and tell him how you feel, and let him know that you are doing what you can to make things right, maybe he will come back. If not, at least you won't run into the same problem with your next relationship.
2006-12-22 09:47:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can do it... get the man you love BACK as soon as possible. That is only my opinion based on my own personal experiences. I'm no expert at all, but I believe you deserve someone you can truly love and be completely there for and don't EVER push this person away again... Hope it works out wonderfully for you.
2006-12-22 10:03:49 · answer #4 · answered by faithloveseternally 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you still married? Get out if you no longer have feelings for him. That is a dangerous situation to be in. When you find love, put the reservations on the back shelf and go for it!
2006-12-22 10:33:51 · answer #5 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love the other man, and things cannot be worked out with your husband, then contact the other man and tell him exactly how you feel and then let him make his own decision!
2006-12-22 10:26:22 · answer #6 · answered by dominicaquilino 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the man u love wants to commit but there has been no divorce yet, so why should he invest love into u, if your still someone Else's wife. if u do not love your husband than get a divorce and make yourself available to this man.
2006-12-22 09:44:47 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you love him go for it, and call him tell him how you feel but the way he talk to you and leave it look like he was just play with you and not serious about you at all but said few words to make you feel better
2006-12-22 09:42:21 · answer #8 · answered by maya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need counseling. You sound very confused and need an independent third party to help you sort things out.
Good Luck!
2006-12-22 09:42:10 · answer #9 · answered by Alexandra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call him or write a letter of how u feel and how much u love him. if u write a letter it gives him time to think and let if settle. pluse he ll remember u. when he s ready he ll come.
2006-12-22 09:43:21 · answer #10 · answered by s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋