10year daughter caught kissing another girl what should I do?

Question

My wife caught our 10year old daughter kissing another girl her age. She spoke to them both and told them she will not tolerate any inappropriate behavior. She was stern with them enought to let them know she meant business but didn't fly off the handle. We realize at that age children begin to explore. Should we pursue talking with her about her actions any further or just let it go and pray this is just a phase? Also should we let the other parent know what happened?

Answer 1

The other parent should be informed as well as watch actions were taken with this situation. I would not continue in pursuing this conversation because it will become a nuisance to them and may push them to explore further because of the fact that you are pursuing the issue. Continue to just love and support your child and know that prayer always work. Never be discourage when you try and do your best in raising your child because they will make mistakes, just be there to comfort and support them.

Answer 2

At 10 years old it was probably just a kiss between two friends, she hasn't discovered sexuality yet so I doubt very much it was anything other then that.

I think you both over reacted and in doing so probably have started pushing your daughter further away.

If for some reason it was more then just two friends kissing which is not uncommon with children or even two grown heterosexual woman then what you did by yelling and carrying on was cause her to want to hide her feelings from you both.

Either way is that what you want, you can't change how she feels, but you can cause a wall to go up so that she feels that she can't be open and honest with you.

If your fear is that her sexual orientation is not what you want well then maybe you need to do more research, its not a learned thing its something your born with you can't change it, you can only hide it.

She is your daughter you need to love her no matter what, try to sit her down and understand why it happened and give her guidance instead of alienating her.

Answer 3

It sounds like your wife has already addressed the problem and is it best not to harp on it because more likely than not, it is only a phase that she will outgrow in a year or two.

Normal kids under 12 are usually repelled by the opposite sex which is a normal part to human behavior; studies hypothesize the reason for this is because by cutting off contact with the opposite sex between the ages of 9 & 12 create a "mystique" about the opposite sex which makes them more alluring once the start to go through puberty and the "call to nature" starts kicking, making the opposite sex all the more attractive which will likely end eventually in procreation to propetuate our species.

If you dwell on the matter your daughter might feel she has already been labeled "gay" and feel that is the path she has to follow in the future.

Answer 4

No. It's a phase, but after you tell her why it's not appropriate behavior for someone her AGE, you have to explain when it is appropriate. (yeah, the sex-ed talk, marriage and parenthood talk) She's probably mortified already, there's no need to revisit the topic with her and for god's sake don't her WHY did she do it. Give this no more attention than if she fell down and scraped her knee. IT's part of growing up. (but you know if she's making out with everyone as often as possible, then you have a promiscuous girl on your hands and you better put your foot down right away before the adolescent hormones kick in)

I'm so glad I have a son.

Answer 5

I can only tell you what I would do if it were my child.

I would sit her down, explain that I'm not mad at her, and that her curiosity is perfectly natural. Then I would tell her that I would prefer that instead of acting on her curiosity, she would ask questions of myself and her father until she is older and ready to act on her feelings.

I have absolutely no problem whatsoever with it being the same gender. Your daughter may just be exploring, or she may end up being bisexual or homosexual. Whatever her orientation ends up being, you would be doing yourself and her no favor at all by being angry or reacting with any kind of "shock" to the situation.

As for telling the other parent... no, I don't see anything about this that is so horrible to warrant involving the girl's parents. Once you have explained to her that you expect it to not happen again, then you can tell her parents if it does happen again. Otherwise, let it go.

Answer 6

This has been an issue for me with my 14yr old daughter. It seems that it is the cool thing to do at school now. Almost every girl at her school is saying they are bisexual. So she is following the crowd and doing the same thing. I do not believe for ONE MINUTE that she is bisexual. She doesn't even know who she is much less what she is at this age. I told her to tell me she was when she was an adult and I would accept it then but not now. So to answer your question I would continue to talk to her about it because kids these days are being taught that anything goes through school, music, and t.v. I would also tell the other parents.

Answer 7

You should make it clear this is wrong. You should tell your daughter why it is wrong. Yes, you should tell the other parents so that they can do the same with their daughter. Maybe the y will talk to their daughter or not but that doesn't concern you necessarily but you should make them aware of what is going on between them. Don't just let the incident go and not say anything to your daughter or pursue the matter. If you are Christians you have an obligation to your daughter to raise her in the Christian tradition. Of course I am sure you realize that saying nothing can lead to your daughter becoming a lesbian. Is that what you want? I never had this problem with my sons whom I raised to love the Lord and they do and are very good Christian young men now. There is an old saying that goes, "Raise a child in the way of the Lord and he will not depart from it." Though he or she may go away from it from time to time they will always come back and realize their sins and repent. I know I did.

Answer 8

If it were my child I never would have made a big deal out of it in the first place. You don't know what was behind WHY they were kissing. Little girls do things for reasons only little girls understand. Leave her alone...it works a lot like not liking a boyfriend. If you voice that opinion, they will gravitate toward that person. Just let it go, she is so young, you are probably making too much of it.

Answer 9

It's not a big deal. I taught 10 year olds last year and the girls had a habit of kissing each other. Really, I think she probably just wanted to know what it was like, but boys are still "icky." So why not try it out on a girl friend. It's safe. I think you're making too much of it. Also, what happens in her teen years when she gets a boyfriend or girlfriend? She's probably not going to tell you because you went so ballistic over this. Good job beginning the alienation of your daughter.

Answer 10

Yes most definitely drill her until you can't drill her anymore. I say stop it be for it starts! That will be the adult thing to do,is to call the other parent. Would you want to know? Another thing, talk to your daughter and be sure to ask her what was she thinking? What made you curio use? How did it feel kissing another female, because it was inappropriate? let her know that she's too young to be kissing anyone! Girls kiss boys and boys kiss girls!Let her know that you all love her very much,that's why this talk was necessary!!