OKay, I'm trying to get all of my facts out there regarding my husband is working and going to school in California. My dilemma is also that I feel he is not listening to my needs whatsoever. He just keeps saying this is how it has to be and we just need to both sacrifice for now. I can' t help feeling being abandoned with him choosing to work in another state. We've talked about starting a family for the last couple of years. I was moving towards that goal. I had just stopped working which is something I was planning on doing. Then he and his buddies decide California has this great nursing opportunity. They are his room mates. Now, when he comes home (which is for 6 days a month). I feel disconnected and unloving. While he has been away he hasn't really made it worth my while or made me feel good about it. Now, he is in school and won't be coming home but every 3 months or so again for a week. You do the math.. if I don't fly to visit him, he'll come home 20 days a year. SUGGESTIONS?
2006-12-21 23:52:39 · 8 answers · asked by Hear2Help 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Either you move there and get hold of this situation, or terminate it. It is not how it has to be,
you should go back to work and I would not start any family with an absent husband. who is going to be left at home all the time, Huh! wake up girl, this is not a real life.
You should be together, tell him you want to move there and sell everything and set up house there. Wait for the reaction, if it is negative, this relation ship is already over.
Please do not add a baby into this mix...... you will be sorry and if you think you are lonely now, wait.
It is time to evaluate your elationship and life as it stands.
When and if he returns home, secures a good job and starts being a husband , then maybe I would consider a child.
You have nothing now, no relationship, no husband.
You have a guy pursuing his dream living with a bunch of guys in a different city having a good time. He is not considering your feelings here and you have better take back your power and get with it......
He is making the rift in the relationship.. I think I would futher my education and get a geat job and get on with my life...... If he comes back fine, but don't be surprised if he talks about stayaing therf for now, cause the opportunities are so good... Watch for the signs girl, the red flags are popping up all around you.
I am sorry , but this is a farce....
2006-12-22 00:02:43 · answer #1 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you both want this marriage to work you both have to be in it. He is not. You have to tell him straight out that this type of situation will not work. DO NOT START A FAMILY!! It sounds like your 'husband' is not wanting a relationship with you and the last thing you need to do is bring a child into the mix. You may think that it will make him recommit to you but IT WON'T. It will only be worse that you're at home with a child and he's off at his job and has no part in parenting. This is not a good example for a child.
Please, do a lot of soul searching and tell him straight out that your needs aren't being met. If he's not willing to be involved in the relationship then you need to get out of it.
2006-12-21 23:59:26 · answer #2 · answered by i have no idea 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can make no sense out of what you have asked. Were you not part of making this decision as his wife? Why don't you move out there and get a job? Or why does he not go to school where you live then move to Cali for the opportunity? The only one sacrificing is you. You need to set this guy straight and let him know the partys over or the marriage is.
2006-12-22 00:10:59 · answer #3 · answered by Barry W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has he asked you to move to where he is and have you considered it? If the answer is no to both questions, then you should re-evaluate cause it sounds like he's running away from marriage & you. DON"T I repeat don't get pregnant at this time or you'll really be stuck!
2006-12-22 00:28:29 · answer #4 · answered by mstrywmn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any state is dying for nurses and he can work and go to school at home. He's playing bachelor and you need to put your foot down.
2006-12-21 23:55:58 · answer #5 · answered by Debra D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he may be living a double life and has another family in calif. Surprise him for xmas and go see him. You may be surprised yourself.
2006-12-22 00:09:49 · answer #6 · answered by seahorse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm still wondering why you got married to him in the first place. Seems like both of you have different agendas.
2006-12-21 23:57:00 · answer #7 · answered by Dr Dee 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just wait on the kid thing .It will be way to hard to do it alone .
2006-12-21 23:56:40 · answer #8 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋