I have just found out that the man I am/was engaged to has been seeing a married woman behind my back ...it now turns out that they have been seeing each other for 10 years....If she wanted him she should have left her husband for him or just leave him alone and let him move on.
My boyfriend is as much to blame as her....but he is obviously the one that can't let go......She seems to have such a hold over him.....it now turns out this isn't the only relationship he's had that has ended over her.
Shouldn't she have had the decency to stop seeing him and give him a chance to find happiness.......she doesn't want him full-time but doesn't to want to give him up.
I know he loves me...and deeply regrets it ,but it's too late......he will now have to go back to waiting for the crumbs she throws him, and I will take a long time to recover ....meanwhile she spends a happy christmas with her husband and children....who are totally unaware of her deception
2006-12-21 22:34:50 · 29 answers · asked by Jane E 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its the billion dollar question babes - there are just some very selfish women out there.
Theres no way to answer your question - some people just like to have their cake and eat it too.
I dont thin you can totally blame her though - he needs to grow a backbone and walk away from her. you cant live your life allowing him to have you and her. He has to pick
you seem like an incredibly strong woman to be coping with it this way.... Im sure you'll make the right decision. Good luck xx
2006-12-21 22:42:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know she does seem to have a very strong hold on him, perhaps for him this is his first love? sometimes we are in relationships that we can just not leg go off, no matter how much hurt they cause... I would speak to him, I know its over for the both of you, but as a good friend you can try to let him see it for how it really is....10 years is a long time, it will be hard for him. On the other hand why not just move on yourself? have some time alone, don't rush into another relationship, lastly I very much doubt that her husband is unaware, maybe he is the same too or has just given up on her... lots of us stay in weak marriages because of the children. Take care and best of luck for your future... you seem like a warm soul.
2006-12-22 06:42:43 · answer #2 · answered by sonia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm taking a hit for the girls...but here goes. MOST women are catty, manipulative and jealous creaters. Most will go to any extremes to make the other woman (you) miserable. Has she succedded? YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT. I say, take your loss and move on. In the future you know the signs of a cheating man. Is the cheating woman REALLY having a great Christmas with her husband...think about that? Thank God you were not married and had children with this man. Good luck and God Bless.
2006-12-22 08:01:55 · answer #3 · answered by Aine14 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is what the engagement period is for, to make sure the two people involved are ready for marriage. Your boyfriend is obviously not ready, so be glad you didn't marry the guy and get hit with this news later on. Can you imagine the chaos?
Some things happen for the best, and in this scenario you hit the jackpot. Lick your wounds and kick up your heals, girlfriend. You got out of a messed up situation just in time!
2006-12-22 08:05:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't this the typical thing where someone is drawn in by the excitement of "something they can't have". It seems like she enjoys the idea of having an affair, probably because her marriage is short on excitement. It's a little like the saying "The grass is greener on the other side". Sounds to me like she was seeing your boyfriend because it gave her something that she was short of in her life and she doesn't want to lose that.
In a lot of things in life the excitement and anticipation of wanting something, the reality often doesn't live up to that expectation. That's why she doesn't want him full time.
I'm not a girl though but thats how it seems to me.
2006-12-22 06:44:18 · answer #5 · answered by Alan B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry this has happened to you! I wish you the best in the future.
Good on you for standing firm and giving him the boot. It sounds that you're still a bit shocked and taking it quite well. I know the world will probably feel like its crashing down but you can get through it.
Even if he begs you and promises it's over, the fact is you said it "she still has a hold over him".
Good luck hun.
Some people are just evil!
2006-12-22 07:57:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Leave him for good & get on with your life. It hurts but you will get through with it. Just be strong and focus your attention elsewhere perhaps in your work. You can't force matters of the heart-when a man's heart is not with you, that's it. Hope you will find a better love next time.
2006-12-22 06:46:40 · answer #7 · answered by disgruntled 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you are blaming the wrong party here. Well, more correctly only 1 of the 2 people that are to blame for this.
He's just as much at fault as she is, infact, he is more at fault since he entered into a relationship more than once knowing he was not truly free.
Sounds like he's gettin his cake and eatin it too. It's a shame really. Too bad you can't get husband to get them both counseling LOL
2006-12-22 06:39:07 · answer #8 · answered by Star 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
some people just want there cake and more!!! he must know she wont leave her husband if she hasnt after 10yrs!!!....
I feel sorry for her husband and children and would tell him, not out of spite but because she is being so decietful and theres childrewn to think about!!!! what are they going to think of her actions if they catch her....
as for you, im sorry this had to happen, it has just happened to my mate, she was seeing a guy for 8months then she found out he had a fiance of 6yrs!!! and she didnt know about my mate... lol.. till she turned up on the door step that is!
people who do this dont deserve to be happy or be with a family..!
2006-12-22 07:54:11 · answer #9 · answered by meow22 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I HATE people that are like that they have no decency.
But if you love him,or did love him tell him FRANKLY that there is NO NO NO future with that woman.
help him see that he nothing but a puppet to her. IF YOU NEED TO SLAP HIM. TO MAKE HIM WAKE UP AND FACE THE TRUTH, THEN SLAP HIM. (it's for the best)
but get him to see that he is not important to her at all no matter what she says.Cause what they have is not love it's EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL!
I don't know how out any of you are.
But life can go TOO fast. so make him see that he is flushing away a lot of HIS LIFE on A LIE of promise of LOVE. because in 'relationships' like that there is no real lasting joy ,happiness or love.
GOOD LUCK TO HIM AND U XX
2006-12-22 06:57:58 · answer #10 · answered by L£X 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋