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Question

I'm not insecure because I have a good deal of pride in myself, and have confidence in my abilties, especially when competing. Anxiety doesn't really explain it either. I work in retail and for one I have trouble looking people in the eyes sometimes, but typically only if I think about it. When I first go into work I'm pretty "Confident" I guess you can say, but later on in the day I start to "wear" down and my social skills seem to deteriate. I can't talk right, and don't feel like talking. It's hard for me to make small talk and find words to say and find myself forcing the words out. Like if I think about it too hard, when they leave I get extremely nervous and don't know what to say. Have a good night, duh. Or if they say something else I'll say something totally out of context. But other times I pretty much carry on the conversation enthusiastically. It's like night and day. What does this sound like? Thanks all

To add more to the looking in the eyes thing... typically I may force myself to look in peoples eyes because I know it's sort of a like a sign that your submitting to them.... but when I do it feels very awkward and I'm working so hard on keeping my eyes on them that I don't hear anything they say. Weird eh?

Answer 1

Its funny cos I was talking about much the same thing to a freind last night! I used to have the same problem if I made eye contact with someone I would start shaking! I would then know they could see me shake which would make it worse and then I would be in a vicious circle of paranoia and anxiety. Difficult to explain really but very distressing! You have my sympathy but my mom says that it passes as you get older. I remember her being nervous and shaky when I was younger, but she is alright now. If it is really troublesome you should see your doctor There is a new drug called Buspar which is very effective for anxiety and is none addictive! Google it, but see your doctor. Don't be ashamed, you are not alone!

Good luck!

Answer 2

Try memorizing some catch-all phrases ones that are appropriate for what you sell or the type of environment that you are in. Try them out at the beginning of your shift when you have energy and are not worn down. Keep what works for the times you feel sluggish. Do you look your friends in the eye? If so try to think of each customer as a potential new friend. Or keep their eyes busy by showing them the merchandise with hand gestures that are away from your eyes.

Answer 3

become a janitor or work in surveillance somewhere that way you wont have to deal with face to face confrontations

maybe you feel confident about yourself but somewhere inside you may feel like your less than your fellow humans, plus you think wayy too much. you sound like me a few years ago, i know what you mean by havin a hard time with small talk

just keep thinking good things about yourself and others, and try to relax when ur in conversations, i found that when im in a meeting or having a conversation with customers i quickly think of something funny i did in the past or someone else did and it makes me feel good, and then just like that i snap outof it. good luck

Answer 4

It sounds like you might need to try and eventually look for a career that doesn't have you rely heavily on people skills--relating directly to the public.

I am not really sure what it sounds like...but, it could be a form of anxiety that is associated with fatigue. I would talk to your doctor about getting you into an anxiety clinic...just for kicks.

Answer 5

I thought you were talking about me...:) yes I have the same problem...sometimes you feel so confident...and other days no.... Just practice...at the moment when you don't see someone in the eyes...just force yourself to do that..until you make it like a habit without being anxious... someone was making fun of me...why I couldn't see in his eyes...and then I was staring at him all the time...and he said..ok I give up...I feel bad that I was making fun of you.

take care and good luck in finding your solution.

Answer 6

don't worry about it. sounds like your just getting tired after a long days work. so what if you don't want to look into their eyes. maybe you don't want them to see how you really feel about meeting their never ending needs.

Answer 7

It could be a type of social anxiety.

Answer 8

sounds like you are just getting tired, try eating better (HEALTHIER) at lunch. don't skip lunch either, give yourself a break.