I've recently been on a few dates with a guy. From the moment we met, the sparks were flying and I felt really good about him. I believe that he felt the same. However, I'm confused about the signals he's sending. Does he want to pursue a long term relationship or not? How do I know where this relationship is headed?
2006-12-21 21:57:54 · 17 answers · asked by kevin 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Why not ask him? Being open and honest will save you from getting hurt in the end and he will appreciate it if you are true to yourself and what you feel.
Relationships fail because people tend to hide their selves from each other. Prevent any misunderstanding, speak your mind.
2006-12-21 22:00:39 · answer #1 · answered by vincentb88 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I think a few dates is too short a time to decide on a long term relationship. Why not slow down, enjoy each other, but also spend some time looking at compatibility.
Love take time to grow, and you really need to get past the first 6 months for people to let their guard down enough to see all those little irritations that make a relationship fail.
Good luck, but see if you see him in the same light in 6 months and then decide if you want a more committed relationship.
2006-12-22 00:16:32 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean with the sparks were flying:you had great sex?Or do you guys actually talk to eachother.I am afraid you are misreading the signals,because you really want more out of this than just a f uckbuddy thing.And you just been on a few dates!!!!
Only in the long run you get to know eachother for real,I would take it a bit slower as I were you and expect nothing from it:just enjoy what you have now.
As all the other advices go:if you ask him now for long- term plans he will vanish without a trace:you are in the ooh ooh face now.Learn and observe.What do you know about him ?Does he tell you things about his past?Seems to me all you two is have fun and nothing more.
You on the other hand are looking for a commitment.See how long this lasts.And if you are still dating after some month's you could drop in a question or two,but for now:don't screw up what you have:he might think you are to desperate or to needy and indeed leave you without a trace,this happens quit often.Sadly to say by the way.He might not think like you in terms of a relationship.You should slow down your hopes and expectations:you will end being hurt by your own wanting to be in a relationship:give eachother the time to get to know eachother than only superficially.
Take it from me:been there done it.
And I am not at all talking you down here:but your expectations are a bit on the strong side.But I do hope for you that will have a bright future:if not with him then with a guy who wants you too.
Greetings:Rob.
You may and can mail or IM me:no problem,if you need to talk about it.
Not coming on to you either:i got my own long-termplans.
My bf of over a year is coming to live with me.Tihis getting to know eachother well enough takes time:not just a few dates,ok?
Merry Christmas.
2006-12-21 23:10:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Depends on the person. After my divorce I in no way wanted a long term relationship. I wanted to look around at what I had missed. I dated umm a few but finally made a choice to date only one and we have been together going on 6 years and married.
2016-05-23 15:17:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
May I suggest you wait. Bringing such a deep topic up so early in the "relationship" may turn him off. I know it would me. After a few more dates, bring up that you would like to date exclusively. My partner and I dated for 3 months, before he approached me and told me that he didn't want anybody else.
Because lets face it, a few dates are just a few dates. You can't possibly expect any monogamy after a few dates. You are still getting to know each other.
If he wants to date you exclusively, then obviously he is seeking Mr. Right . If he says no, then you know he is just looking for Mr. Right Now, and guess what? you're him.
So, I say, just go with the flow. Don't think about it so much. The discussion will happen, and when it does, let us know what happens!!!
Best of luck and Merry Christmas!
2006-12-21 23:48:13 · answer #5 · answered by fish011481 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to determine where things will develop after only a few dates. Even if you guys have a connection, you're both still in the "goo goo ah you're so cute we connect so well" stage which most gay men will tell you can quickly turn into the "what a psycho" phase. Lets hope it won't, but only time will tell.
Take this time to get to know your new prospect and let the relationship develop. Don't over analyze the signals, either. You guys are still feeling each other out so the signals may not be exactly what you think they are.
You'll know when it's the right time to talk about a ltr. In the meantime, enjoy spending time with a guy you really dig.
2006-12-21 22:03:28 · answer #6 · answered by Kedar 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well, I don't want to speak for the whole gay population, but the fact that you have mentioned you have been on a few "dates" with him already should tell you that both of your goals is to be in a relationship. Let's face it, between guys if all you want is sex...it's not that difficult to obtain. In terms of signals you'd have to be more specific, but the easiest way would be to ask him straight up. What do you have to lose? I honestly think your problem will sort itself out on its own, but I understand that you still probably have the whole butterflies feeling and just want to jump into it, but just take things slow and if you really feel you need a concrete answer...ask him. The beginning is the funnest and most exciting part! Wish you all the best! -Allybally
2006-12-21 22:06:28 · answer #7 · answered by Allybally 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
After a few dates you probably don't know where the relationship is headed..give it a little more time and then ask him.
2006-12-22 02:21:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me, based on the consensus of answers and what my own opinion is, you should ask him and not read signals because you could end up misreading them.But you should also not assume anything in either direction and so when you ask it should be with the knowledge that things could go in either direction.
2006-12-21 22:08:22 · answer #9 · answered by BuckFush 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I guess if you have established a trusting relationship or bond with this guy, you could ask him or just wait and let time do it's natural thing. Get to know some of his history. You do have the right to know things!
2006-12-21 22:00:50 · answer #10 · answered by justincausejustintime 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Kevin-I'm not there to read the signals or body language and neither is anyone else. If you want to know what his agenda is, why don't you ask him. If you are scared to then it isn't a good situation. You might be reluctant to say anything to him out of fear of losing him, but not asking him will only keep you anxious.
Talk to him about these things and hear what he says. Let him know how you feel!
2006-12-21 22:03:09 · answer #11 · answered by ontheroadagainwithoutyou 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋