I had met several times people who would say something first and later when the situation would become different, contradict the previous statement and tell that he had actually told me to do something according to this new situation and that I am guilty of not listening to him!!! I feel like punching at his face. Is my reaction wrong? There are people who would criticize you if you take the right turn saying that you should have taken left turn and if you take the left turn they would say right turn is the correct turn. I meet people who teach something but do not follow that themselves. I really hate these people for their behaviour. There are people in offices who are just puppets under the hands of lower rank stuff. I hate when people say something stupidly without knowing the real story. I can not tolerate such people. I have strong hatred for them and because of this sometimes feel jittery that I have to live among them. How to deal with such people?
2006-12-21 20:57:18 · 14 answers · asked by Roy 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
we all face these types of persons in our daily lives. I have learnt to deal with such people from my own hard experiences. I give the following answer from my experiences.
We can have such bad experiences with each of such persons as u listed only once. If we encounter the same person twice in the same wrong way its our fault for not learning from our mistakes. This is first lesson in dealing with such people.
Once u know that somebody is behaving in a particular way and it is his nature, we may not get anger. Can we complain that mango tree is not bearing pumpkins and feel frustrated? This is second lesson.
Thridly, i often question myself why i should feel angry or bad or get hatred for other's behaviour. How can i tolerate my neighbour having remote control of my TV in my house? How can i tolerate that somebody else is controlling what programmes i should watch?
All and said and done, i keep failing now and then. In those situations i keep telling myself, 'yes. i am human being too as i erred'
best wishes
2006-12-21 21:32:16 · answer #1 · answered by gaanamurty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well people are influenced by others...they did a study on this i think it was Milgram...he conducted this thing where people were told to electrocute others in another room when they got the answer wrong. It was pretend but they deliberately answered wrong and the people would up the ante sooo high a voltage that the person was yelping in pain and still they just listened to what the authorities said...that's why Hitler had sooo much power I think...puppets are what people become. Another study showed that if you have a group of people like a panel interview they are influenced by the majority response. Sounds like the person is not willing to accept that they said something else. I dislike people like that too but they may just want to seem right all the time. I say not to let it bug you. They know what they told you to do. Ask for advice from someone else that is not influenced by others to such a degree that they will sway when others tell you to do different or the situation does not work out.
2006-12-22 05:03:27 · answer #2 · answered by kowalley 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's very frustrating and your emotional reaction is completely understandable. But you can't go around punching people in the face, no matter how annoying they are! lol So, a better solution is to make sure both of you understand that you heard him correctly.
Whenever he makes a statement or command, repeat back what you heard right after he says it. Example: if he tells you he'll be meeting with Company X at 10:00 a.m. Tuesday, and he needs you to pull all the files on this client, then you can confirm with him what you heard. You: "You're meeting with Company X on Tuesday at 10:00 a.m. Is that Dec. 26 or Jan. 2? And where would you like me to put the files I pull?" Something like that. That way, if perchance you DID happen to misunderstand something he says, he can correct it right away. And if he confirms what you repeat back to him, then there's no way he can later say you weren't listening.
Hopefully, with you repeating everything back to him, 1) he'll get the point that you're listening, and 2) maybe you'll drive HIM crazy for a change! lol
Everybody likes to be heard and understood. Nobody likes to be told they're not listening. This will solve both problems at once. Good luck. ; )
2006-12-22 05:21:20 · answer #3 · answered by Jen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You deal with these types by ignoring them. There is no way that you are not going to cross paths with people who do not "live" up to your standards. But to tell you the truth, your "strong hatred" of certain types of people is a little bit odd. Just turn the other cheek or go and live on a deserted island- that is the only way you will be able to live in your kind of peace.
2006-12-22 05:46:54 · answer #4 · answered by rosey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hold on!
i think you have started treating yourself as bad as others are treating themselves. first of all treat yourself well and have a high self esteem .you have the right to feel angry . tell the other person what he is doing .also consider that others are also being treated the same way as you by this person. speak to him , try to counsel him if it affects your office or routine life.however if your daily life is unaffected please ignore such people.
2006-12-22 07:15:45 · answer #5 · answered by SANJEEV M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you deal with them in a few ways. first, don't take their inconsistencies personally--they need to be correct because it's unacceptable for them to be wrong--being wrong means that they are stupid (to them). the second thing to do with people who back away from what they've said, is to get clarification when they tell you something. "Go left then walk to the corner." you respond, "Are you saying that I should first go left, and then go to the corner?" it's good to have a witness, especially if it's work oriented and important for you to be correct. but once you know you're right, let it go. let them have the ulcers.
2006-12-24 18:28:34 · answer #6 · answered by heyrobo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, my friend, that is life. There are some people in this world that you can have the strongest hatred for, but still have to tolerate them. If the world had everyone we liked and no one we hated, it would be mostly vacant. You need to deal with your emotions. My stragety is completely ignoring what they say...try it...
2006-12-22 05:05:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When this person asks you to do something again, ask them to please send you an email so you won't forget. Then save your emails to show proof. Cover your ***. If they won't send an email, write it down on your calendar...
Some people, you just have to put up with. That's the way life is some times.
2006-12-22 05:08:34 · answer #8 · answered by babbles 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ignore them
2006-12-22 05:08:35 · answer #9 · answered by shanu s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you stick to what you know is right...if someone tells you something and contradicts the statement,..let them know in a professional manner...dont let those kind of people control your emotions...they dont care either way so why do you....
2006-12-22 05:01:42 · answer #10 · answered by michele m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋