For some reason lately I have been feeling very envious of this woman I know. We have babies that are the same age and have started talking to/emailing one another. She seems to always be 'one-uping' me... if you know what I mean. If I say that I've been lucky that my son hasn't really had many diaper rash issues... she emails me back saying "My son hasn't had any diaper rashes. So happy!" If I say I bought a book to learn how to make baby food at home she replies "Yeah, I was planning on doing that already." Am I imagining things or does it sound like she's being competitive?
It's started to bother me and I find myself comparing now too. She's prettier, skinnier, has a nicer home, a better marriage (or at least it seems like it), a better job, more friends, etc. etc.
How can I let go of these feelings? It's starting to consume my thought life. Any advice?
2006-12-21 20:51:55 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
hmmm... if you ask me, that little "competion" you are having is not healthy.
we feel envious of other people because we think that they have better things than us (its not true). One thing you can do to overcome this kind of feeling is YOU SHOULD COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS. most of the times we humans always fail to count what we have. usually we only count our blessing in monetary values. count what you have like good health, a good family, a sweet home, food to eat in the table, no enemies etc etc etc. if i were you do not make comparison of yourself and other people coz everybody is equal. so what if she has better things, youve got a wider wisdom (so thats why you want to discourage envious feelings). anyway, may God Bless you always and do more of what you are doing right now, to change for the better and not for worst.
2006-12-21 20:59:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've known several girls like that. She's just trying to make herself seem better, probably because she has some kind of inadequacy of her own. It's passive-aggressive bullying, really.
If you really want to maintain your friendship, you just need to realize that she is baiting you and not let it bother you. If she can't get a rise out of you, she'll eventually either stop bragging or stop talking to you altogether.
The other, less-nice, thing you can do is to excessively ask her for advice. You don't have to take it, but if she really isn't such a know-it-all, it may make her uncomfortable enough to stop pretending she is.
In other words, heap coals on the head of your enemy--kill her with kindness.
2006-12-21 20:58:38 · answer #2 · answered by Iris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can so relate!! I used to be friends with someone just like the person you are describing. The only thing is I didn't give a rat's behind what she thought. I realized right away that she was obviously trying to overcome some insecurity. This girl copied everything I did and was constantly trying to "one-up" me. You have no reason to be jealous of someone like this. Trust me, her life is not perfect. She is trying too hard which means something is not right and she is trying to compensate. Be happy with who you are and don't try to compete with her. Trust that you are a good person and you don't have to be better than her to proove it.
2006-12-21 20:55:33 · answer #3 · answered by Amelia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with iris. I know a few women who are like that, always drumming themselves up a peg or two . I think that people who are like this have insecurity issues with themselves and that is why they are like this. As hard as it may seem, try and distance yourself from her a bit. There is nothing worse than being around someone who always makes you feel not worthy enough. All the best!
2006-12-21 21:42:39 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on you and only you. Do you really want to let go of these feelings? Or, deep inside you, you really want to get back at her? No matter what advice is given to you, it is still you who will have to work at it. If you could not do it by yourself, please seek a therapist's help. God bless you!
2006-12-21 20:58:06 · answer #5 · answered by Alfretz T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Class A drugs may help
2006-12-21 20:57:53 · answer #6 · answered by liverpuddles1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chill out woman!!! It always takes two. Next thing you know, you guys are gonna get a ruler and start comparing your babies penises(or is it peni?). Anyway, get a life.
2006-12-21 20:56:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think the problem is with you
there will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself
2006-12-21 20:55:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
try a 3some
2006-12-21 20:54:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
stop communicating with her. thats it
2006-12-21 20:54:07 · answer #10 · answered by rocksmysocks 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋