I broke up with my ex-fiencee not even a year1/2 ago. Weve still been talking as friends and hes always wanted to get back with me but he hadnt changed from what I'd left him for(drugs) so i wouldnt go back. I found out this week that my best friend spent the night at his on friday. I dug a bit deeper and found out they were sleeping together when we was together and when we broke up. Ive spoken to him over the phone and hes only admitting to sleeping with her when we broke up, but he doesnt bother me its her. Ive looked after her, fed her kid, let her stay at my house and lent her my clothes and she does this. Shes looked me in the eyes and listened to me crying about him. Its ripping me apart knowing that Im gonna lose her as a friend now. Im going round her house in a couple of hours and having it out with her. Im gonna try really hard not to hit her, i just wanna tell her how i feel and then call an end to our friendship. Can someone tell me Im doin the right thing?
2006-12-21 20:12:02 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She doesn't sound like a true friend, perhaps they were both out of their head on drugs but that's no excuse. She sounds like she lives for the moment with no regard for anyone else's feelings, you will never be able to trust her again, keep her at long distance. Good luck you deserve better.
2006-12-22 03:18:28 · answer #1 · answered by georgeygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It certainly was disrespectful however don't let your anger take control. You are better than both of them.
It's obvious that they both wanted to keep you for a friend otherwise they would not have hidden their relationship from you. You must be a good person with a big heart.
Now you must take the high road and show no emotion. Hard to do. However they should be both out of your life because they did lie to you and were very wrong in keeping things from you.
Just let it go. It is of no use going to her house and confronting her. Your emotions are running high and you say you would like to hit her and if you did follow through, you could be charged with assault. If you do wish to confront her, it might be safer to do that on the phone. Perhaps you could write her a letter and then keep for a few days and if you still feel the same, then show it or read it her.
I know you are hurting and angry at their betrayal. Remember what goes around, comes around.
2006-12-21 20:25:48 · answer #2 · answered by sharon b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH MY GOD, you are so doing the right thing! How can your 'best mate' do that to you? She is obviously not your best mate. Don't hit her, she doesnt deserve your energy wasted on her like that. Just tell her what you think of her, get it off your chest and walk away...what a *****, you seriously don't need people like that in you life! Just the fact that she has been there for you when you split up from him, and then went and slept with him behind your back...!!! Oh my god. I cant believe it. I'm so sorry, honey, but you will find someone who will treat you so much better, a real best friend. Mates don't do that, and you shouldn't have to put up with that. I hope everything goes ok for you, even though you're probably already there! Good luck!xx
2006-12-21 21:46:39 · answer #3 · answered by iwatchedthestarsfallsilently 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're doing the right thing about dumping her as a friend....but don't do anything illegal like hitting her. Instead, you need to find friends outside the drug circle. A real friend would have not betrayed you........so dust them both off of your shoes and find a different lifestyle. Get help from a therapist, they can give you the best advice. They might even know about a support group that can help you along. The quicker you put this behind you the better.
2006-12-21 20:33:25 · answer #4 · answered by mojonah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry, but she's no friend. if she'd only slept with him very recently, then u might have been able to forgive her, although she should have told u about it, so u didn't have to find out from someone else. but she slept with him when u and your ex were still together. true friends just don't do that. tell her that you feel really hurt and betrayed by what she's done, and that u don't feel like u can trust her anymore. don't let her drag u into an argument - just say your bit and then leave. u don't want this kind of hassle this close to xmas. as for not blaming him, well, no one made him sleep with your best friend. i think he is as responsible for this as she is. u are better off without the pair of them !!!
2006-12-21 20:21:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar one, my best mates brother did the same to me, I did the same, I treat him like he was my brother as well. This was five years ago and I still feel angry, but I know that going round and punching his lights out would have meant a lot of trouble with the police, he'd have had me locked up. I am now married to the same girl I was with then. We broke up for a while and did a lot of growing up. Use this time to reflect on what could have been and how it might have been if you where still with the same person. I'd still slap your ex though, he knows what he's doing and that's wrong.
2006-12-21 20:40:10 · answer #6 · answered by Chaney69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont hit her! Maintain your dignity and self respect. She certainly is no friend so end the relationship in a calm and dignified manner. In my experience, you should always be very careful of so called'best friends'. I too have helped friends in the past, only to find that they have slept with my (then) partner behind my back. Remember though that it 'takes 2 to tango' - it doesnt say much for your ex-partner does it? Dont despair though, there are lots of good people out there. Stay cool and treat it as one of life's lessons. Then move on and have a really good Christmas! Good Luck.
2006-12-21 20:24:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't bother going round there it might just get messy and you could do something you will regret.
Just try and forget about the both of them as they sound like a perfect match and you are better off without them.
She was never a friend to you and he is just an idiot for treating you like he did!
I hope you will get over this and find someone who loves you and treats you well (a boyfriend and a friend) Good luck for the future and have a good Xmas xx
2006-12-21 20:24:40 · answer #8 · answered by Peachy Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First. Are you sure? It sounds like you've deduced this from talking with other people. Are they reliable?
If you are absolutely sure. Then don't even talk to her about it. Move on. Find new friends. The best revenge is a life well lived.
If you are not totally sure, you should talk to her about it. Get her story and then make your decision. Be calm, not combatitive. The goal is not to hurt, it's to get to the truth.
By the way, I'd stay away from the ex even if he does get the drugs under control. It's fairly clear you can't trust him. Ever.
2006-12-21 21:06:26 · answer #9 · answered by maxdwolf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but that is not a friend!!!! - ´´U needs enemies when u have friends like that´´
She know u split up with him cos of drugs and then she still goes to him!
U have been there for her when she needed you, u have helped her when she needed it. (That what it sounds like when reading your msg)
Then you need her, u cry to her and go to her for some friend comfort and she turns around and sleeps with him!!!
No girl, dont worry about it. Him nor her are friends!
You right, u should go to her and talk to her! Tell her how you feel and tell her you dont want that friendship!
Good Luck!
2006-12-21 20:31:15 · answer #10 · answered by BadGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋