Ex Wife?.....How do you stop them bad mouthing?

Question

My partners ex wife is continually bad mouthing him to their children..........Is there any way that she can be made stop?

She has been doing it since the moment they seperated, I actually cant believe someone would do this!!

We have been dating for all this year, and only last week myself and my children met his children..........so now im just waiting for her to start in on me and my kids....( which no doubt she will..)...Im really kind of nervous about it, as my girls are really settled with the fact that him and I are dateing and all is well.

So I just wonder whats going to happen now....if she was that bad before she even knew about me....................shes going to be worse now she knows about me.

Any suggestions as to try and make her stop the bad mouthing?

For those of you who cant read the question properly............Ive been dating this man for a year, and so Ive seen and heard first hand how his ex is......( from the side line of course..).............I dont hate her I dont feel anything towards this woman..........................but i can see that she is destroying the relationship with their father.....and this was going on before i even came along.hence the reason we didnt meet his kids until last week.

Answer 1

Well, if he pays for child support or has a court order in terms of custody or support... there's usually a clause in there stating that neither parent can make their child feel resentful about their father through deragatory statements. have him write a letter to his lawyer or if there's a friend of the court. I would call the local clerks office of the divorce court and ask them. Maybe get a free consultation with a lawyer and see what they say.

We have the same problem. His kids are very disrespectful to anyone on his side of the family except for those that give them money and spoil them rotten. His ex wife and he had a really bad relationship (she cheated, neglected kids, didn't clean, and well... he hit her after taking this for years... either way...) so since she was treated that way, she reminds her kids left and right how she was treated. Regardless of the fact that he worked 2 jobs, cooked, cleaned, and gave her money left and right to go partying with, put her through school, and took excellent care of the kids (didn't hit them, didnt' yell at them, etc) they feel that she's right and he's an *ss. He does have the option of the Friend of the Court and is worried it will cause him more harm than good.

Answer 2

All the court orders in the world cannot stop someone from bad mouthing the ex. However, since you are not married to this gentleman yet remain on the sidelines and say nothing to his ex.

Continue to support him, and continue to treat his children the same was as you treat your own.

Ex's can be a pain in any new relationship, i've seen very few that didn't try to throw a problem into another's new relationship.

Nourish your own relationship with your partner, support one another.

Over time this Ex-wife may find herself getting laid, and moving on with her life.

Answer 3

your not alone! my husbands x-wife has bad mouthing him in front of their daughter for 16yrs and even before the age of 12yrs this child had been brain washed. if his x-wife continues this could cause conflict between him and his children.....i know its hard to believe someone would do this but i can tell you to expect it. i couldn't believe it myself in the beginning, but its true. you can't stop this type of behavior from his loser x-wife....i found the best thing for me was to never talk to her and just ignore her at all costs. its their complusive behavior that you can't change. just don't allow your own children to be around her (x-wife) at all. and yes she will be worse when she finds out about you. she needs to move on with her life and leave you guys alone. maybe she can get remarried-that seemed to help us when the x got married.---but of course we never see the child and haven't since x-mas day 2002. you can't stop her mouth from running. she is like a bad nightmare. oh by the way I'll bet she is a liar and a gold digger. WATCH HER!

Answer 4

Its a pretty hard task. She does it cos she is still ´hurt´. She feels pain and hate towards her ex, and since she has not completely ´forgotten´ the past, she holds it in. Hence she bad mouths him to the children. I dont know why they split, so i cant give more on that but i would tell him to actually sit down and talk to his ex, telling her clearly that he is not happy about the fact that she is bad mouthing him. If he is a good father and is there for his children what else does she want him to do for them. He is the father and nothing is going to change that.
As for your children, she should not be bad mouthing them. She is a mother, and should know that is one line that no one should pass.

Answer 5

How old are the kids?

Since you can't really shut them up legally, you both need to be the "better couple" in this case. Don't badmouth her, don't trash talk her, just don't say ANYTHING about her at all.

Eventually the kids will realize that their mother is a lying sack of potatoes, if they don't already know.

If they question you on something 'dear mom' said, make sure they know the truth and that their mom was 'misinformed' somehow.

It IS tough, but be the better people in this instance. Count to ten, leave the room, have a vacant smile and nod on your face if she says crap to your face.

Answer 6

An ex wife is a vengeful creature. If she is badmouthing, then it means that she is not done trying to inflict pain on him. She will use his children against him, badmouth your children, and do whatever mean and spiteful thing possible. Be supportive of your partner and let her show everyone that she is mean. Don't be drawn into arguments or play her game. You and your partner need to keep her at a distance.

Answer 7

I've been divorced for 11 years and my X is STILL bad mouthing me. Some people just can't be mature enough to face the truth and reality. Grow up!

Answer 8

You say that his daughters just met you and your girls last week. Yet, you are complaining about the ex wife. How do you know that the ex wife is bad mouthing your bf? Sounds like your BF is actually the one bad mouthing his ex to you. You seem to have a hatred for a woman that you don't even know. If I were you I'd keep out of affairs that have nothing at all to do with you. AT LEAST until you are married.

Answer 9

There is no way to stop her. Whenever the children say something bad that their mother has said to them their father needs to say "What happened between your mother and I is between your mother and I and we both love you very much" Children are not dumb and they will eventually see her for what she truly is. This may take awhile and it will no doubt drive you two crazy, take your time to vent to each other (not in front of the children) and then proceed to do what you normally do. The children will see that their father does not play into the same game as their mother and will be the "bigger" person. She is making her children pick between him and her and no child should ever have to do that. Good luck

Answer 10

I had the same problem with my ex husband he was always putting my husband down to our kids but with love and attention they realized that he cares about them and is there for them no matter what. They now refer to my ex as their step father and to their stepfather as daddy. just be patient ignore her, if you and your bf don't bad mouth her they will realize that she is only trying to get back at him for the divorce just like my kids did.