I need help, i have lived with my bf for 3 years, we have a child,?

Question

who is 2 and I m a stay at home mom.
I really think he is a narcissist, like the medical term, NPD.
He doesnt have any empathy, and cant see why I would not always want to be a stay at home mom, and perhaps get a job and make my own money.
I dnt know what to say to him.
Nothing I say matters to him, he never listens unless his name is brought up or the word sex is in a sentence, and YES im serious.
He rarely ever gets up for our son, I usually get his breakfast and change him in the morning, set him up for the day type of thing.
His dads "chore" is to bathe him, thats it.
I have told him I wanted to leave, but he says "im crazy" "a selfsih *****" or "sign the boy over and get the **** out".
H eis prepared to fight for custody as is I, only problem is he can afford a lawyer (makes over 90,000) a year and I make nothing cause Im a mom.
I feel trapped and scammed, I dont want o lose my child but I must get out. This man is making me question my sanity, that is not right!

Answer 1

Trapped by a thing called love-

Congratulations on wanting to get out! Do not think that you need to stay with this man in order to keep your child. You can have $0 and still be a great mom. The judge does not award custody soley on who makes the most money.

Unless your bf is able to prove that you are an unfit mother, he does not stand a chance at wininning this case. he could be making a million dollars but so what.

I am a father and I know how the court systems work when it comes to custody battles. So please for your own sake, get out now. Get out, pack the bags and move on. File your papers for child support, and while you're at it file for a restraining order.

The only reason why he would even want your child is because he knows that is where your heart is. He is going to make your life hell when you leave him, but you can not be afraid to move on without him. He is going to be a real prick when it comes to sharing your son. Just stay focus and collect your child support and be the best mother you can be.

On the closing note - you don't have to like him anymore, but you will have to learn how to work with him as the two of you be parents to your child.

Good luck, but you're really not trapped. Get up and get out.

Answer 2

I love these questions.-- women who get no education or skill, never have a plan B, never have any $$ socked away, never have any training, then have babies with real rats, and have no way to support themselves --- figure a baby gives them a marriage and a meal ticket for life, and now figure they are really wronged.

Hon, bc pills were cheap---still are....cheaper than diapers any month of the year.... It was an error having a child when you already knew this guy had some personality defects -- that he really wasn't dad and husband material what WERE you thinking?????????? There is no solution to this.... If he is such an a(s)s(h)ole, you'll never get him into counseling, and he has you financially backed into a corner. If you leave, you're on welfare, or in a shelter. Next he'll cheat on you, because there is nothing you can do about it, and he really doesn't have any feelings for you nor your marriage...... (may not be a bad option, actually. You could go back to school, and in 2 years have a well paying job. But that would take effort, and many women haven't much drive.)

My mom always told me:
1 Always have something you can do to earn for yourself a life style to which you wish to live.
2. Marriage may not be forever.
3. Absolutely, and positively the most important decision you make in your life is the choice of a husband and a father to your children.
4. Have a stash, even if you are sure you will never need it.

My daddy always said, "A divorce is a nice thing if you can afford it."

Where are you? Obviously not in the greatest position. I can't cure your problem, hon, but for sure, don't have any more children you cannot support yourself. He can't make you sign over your child, and finding a good attorney would for sure get you child support payments..... But again, costly, hon, costly. Look in the yellow pages for pro bono attorneys... but don't hope for much

Answer 3

You are right get out. He can threaten you all he wants let him they are empty threats. It does'nt matter how much he makes, your a mom and the courts will have to know about his abuse you have to be honest about him. There is always free legal aides you can call depending on what state your in. There is tons of help out there for single moms and I'm sure you can get a job and make a good life for your child. Don't let him do this, think of what he will be teaching your child.You want a better life for the both of you or you would'nt be asking this question. Go for it!!!!!

Answer 4

Take the kid and run. Go to moms, aunts, dads, somewhere. He wants you to feel trapped. Try to find out about legal aid in your area. They might be able to help. Honey clean house. Start separating things. Take important things to moms or a friends. DO NOT tell him that you plan to contact a lawyer. Just get everything in order and one day let him come home to an empty house. You don't want your child growing up in that type of enviornment.

Answer 5

It sounds like he is a control freak, I would talk to a lawyer.Depending on your state you could be considered common-law married. If he makes that much money you could still petition for child support for the child. You might also try and find some place you could go to seperate for awhile to get his attention to see if he is all talk. You can also look to see how he was raised. This could be how he was raised and finds this to be normal. You will need to make the decision if you are willing to work through this and make it work or would you be better off without him and living sanely.

Answer 6

ok listen this guy is probibly a good guy when things are going well. but as soon as you want to explore the option of work he becomes defencive. well only you truly know him. so if you think he realy loves you then call his bluff. because he knows that you think you could never win in court and he also knows that you dont want to loose your child. he is useing that aginst you. the courts normaly side with the women in a custody battle anyway. as long as the women is drug free and can care for the child.he just dont want to get stuck with more hunny do chores. like takeing care of the babby while you work. i think he will get use to it.

Answer 7

I would file first, it looks better.
Most states favor the mother so I wouldn't worry if I didn't have an attorney, he will definietly need one if he thinks he has grounds for full custody.
Get out of that house, file first, get a job and get your own place as soon as possible, because the court looks at that to.
Good luck!

Answer 8

Take this nice and slow. Do nothing rash. This man sounds very selfish and mabye even dangerous. Try and get anything against him you can and have evidence of it. Have witnessess attest to the way he is treating you and what he says. He sounds horrible. The best thing would be to get him fired some how.

Answer 9

Win with your love and sympathy, First of all tell about your self what is your behaviour and other things how you cook, how you dressup and how u look, beacuse men most of the time think about a good food, dress up wife and a good behaviour

Becuase i m also a husband

Answer 10

Community property, everything is half yours. Including the bank account. Use his money for your own attorney. Whether you work or not. Although some states dont have community property, Texas, Loiusiana, OKlahoma do for sure.