Wife wants me to date, and live a new life. We have a wonderful son, and feel that for our emotional health it would be best to separate for now. I'm moving 80 miles away, closer to job, and should be back every weekend for a while. What if I meet a girl I like :) IWe've been sleeping in separate rooms for 1 1/2 years, and we haven't been a family for longer than that. Good thing is that we still love each other, and want to give each other time. I want to be her friend, we've been through alot, good and bad.
So any ideas and suggestions would be helpful. I'm not looking for divorce primarily so that the house can be kept for her and my son, and I'd be sending money home every month. Funny thing is she's still married too... never got divorced from her ex, but I was cool with that. She's from Brazil, and we've been married 11 years. Any advice on what my best options are. Guess it's tough to think of these things during holidays. At least I'm almost over the heartache :)
Peace
2006-12-21 18:01:51 · 9 answers · asked by FearDragons 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Seriously, you need to spend time on your own first to deal with any emotional baggage. Avoid dating right away, or if you really wanted to date now, keep it casual. You need some time for you!
Personally I believe a good six months minimum on your own before you can start to feel comfortable enough as an individual to be able to commit to a serious relationship. This way you won't wind up with feelings for your ex as you date your new love.
2006-12-21 18:16:55 · answer #1 · answered by splurkles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WAAAAIIIIITTTT a minute! Hold up! If you're content staying with her already, then why leave? Just becasue things aren't fantastic...(and yes, I speak from first hand experience. I am in a passionless marriage myself). If she wants you to date, then it's likely she will. Do you want some other stud teaching your kid how to tie his shoes, do algebra, and drive a car?! No way! If you HAVE to think about yourself and split up, move next door. No, really! Your kid needs you!
And another thing, when you still "love someone" you don't want to go off and see other people. Put all that effort and passion back into your marriage and see what happens. You don't have to like her-just pretend you do. Try it for two weeks and see what happens. Be passionate and be spontaneous. If it doesn't work you will have wasted only two weeks. Send roses to her and bring her home something sexy to wear. Ask her if "maybe you can come sleep in her room tonight" sometimes sexy things chisel the ice off of our unforgiving hearts.
But please, I beg you, don't abandon your child. If you were trying to have a relationship with someone for two days every other weekend how long do you think the relationship would last? Not long I imagine. Please, move next door if you must leave. Try not to be selfish. In just a few short years he will be grown and you can do whatever you want....
I hope what I have said can help you make a good decision......
2006-12-21 19:46:54 · answer #2 · answered by Honesty given here! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not date while you are still married. lonely is no reason to jump into another mess. Your son deserves better than you and your wife are selfishly giving him. If you want to drag other women into an emotionally unstable situation,,, reconsider. if you cant live for your son,, than get a divorce, give her the house, pay child support, and start another life. I feel sorry for your son. sounds like he is going to grow up with the example that " its all about me" forget what others may need and do whatever makes you happy. I only wonder how many divorced/separated 1 parent families you are going to leave for society to raise because of your selfishness.
2006-12-21 18:51:00 · answer #3 · answered by blazes m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She wants you to date other people because she already is. Its a way to make her feel better. I say go for it. If the divorce is coming, might as well get started on your future.
2006-12-21 19:46:13 · answer #4 · answered by redeye069 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1 hour
2006-12-21 18:06:39 · answer #5 · answered by Dr Dee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did ya'll read his question?...the wife has a previous hubby!, 2 hubbies,.... wake up......hellfire, he isnt legally married anyway, and what a dumbass question, sleeping in seperate rooms for a year and half, hellfire, she just using him for a roof provider, wake up, get a life.
2006-12-21 18:25:40 · answer #6 · answered by countryboy1959 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5 seconds is long enough
2006-12-21 18:06:55 · answer #7 · answered by mandy s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't date while you're separated. You're stilll married.
2006-12-21 18:05:20 · answer #8 · answered by Joe C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start dating whenever you wish..
Days....Weeks....Months...
2006-12-21 18:12:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋