Do you think these lyrics are good enough to make it big?

Question

My presen(ce) is so obvious there is no way you can't stare
Don't be so surprised when my song vibrates through the air
My rhymes are endless
it might chokes you and leave you feeling breathless
You' re going to look so helpless
Someone will be forced to say please end this
People observing from the outside in must think
I'm heartless
The thought of constantly challenging myself to be ahead of the game fuels me to be even more relentless
Like a figure skater
every move I make is carefully calculated with every word
Your head must be in the clouds
if you haven't already heard
The evidence alone should prove what I am saying is not absurd

Give me some ideas on how I can improve me lyrics

Answer 1

hmmm maybe, they need a lil work

Answer 2

They're ok. Fix them up a little, and put a good rhythm to it.
You know, if you'd like to write a great song, focus on something you enjoy doing. Write about something that makes you happy or write about how happy you get when you do that something. Good upbeat songs that you put your heart into always make it big. Look at the disco era and all those feel good songs (One Hit wonders, though), or those well-known dance songs. (Disco songs, the Locomotion, the Twist, the Hustle, the Chicken dance) And if you hit it big with a song like that, imagine the money you'll be making over the years. Well, good luck songwriting !

Answer 3

Well . . They're okay, but I've seen better. Sometime I think is rather important would be for you to add a chourus. That's usually the only reason a song will stick in somebody's head.

But the lyrics themselves don't say much. It all depends on why is singing, in what notes, with what insturments, ect.

Answer 4

They need a little work but they are rather good. Keep up the good work. I hope all your dreams come true just keep on writing. Who knows one day i may hear these lyrics on the radio. Be careful though putting them on the Internet someone else could take your song.

Answer 5

Lyrics need to be coupled with the right music.

Answer 6

i give it a 85% grade some spots were kinda off i guess is the word but switch some things around and u got it

Answer 7

doesnt matter anyone with connections can get big look at everyone on trl and 106 and park

Answer 8

i understand how you feel, its as if no one understands your work but another artist. I write my own music/lyrics as well, you did a wonderful JOB! Please didn't change your lyrics because it rep. who you are as a person so way to go.

Answer 9

It might get you into the middle school talent show, but other than that, no. Sorry.

Answer 10

depends on the genre