How can I find out if maybe he might be interested in talking about the possibility without getting accused of either sexual harassment - unwanted overture, or having him trying to "out" me when I don't even really know if that's what's really happening to me? It's weird. I just really like him, and everything is quite confused for me right now. I have had a solid hetero relationship, and I like women, but this is new and feels good and real. Can anyone help?
2006-12-21 16:31:58 · 15 answers · asked by noel 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Well,I agree with most posters here so my post isnt really any better, not even the best...Yes,I agree that you have to know him better,maybe through partners dinners,meetings, on a beer but make it friendly and let him see he can trust you so he wouldnt be reluctant to tell you anything and confind in his thoughts and opinions to you, and be careful not to make it look like you're gay or anything because you're not sure what he thinks of it and where he stands (like I said make it friendly,as if you wanna be his trusty and best friend). Also,be careful,I cant deny that relationships with your co-workers or at work I mean are a very sensitive issues and could have serious outcomes,so be careful and be wise.....and Good luck,hope it works out,if not then hopefully you'll meet your match soon enough.
2006-12-21 21:38:29 · answer #1 · answered by Shady E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, do you want to have sex with him? How close are you with him? Are you now sexually attracted to other men besides him? If there is no sexual attraction, I can not call you gay or bisexual. Though I can definetly say you are in a phase in your life that you must decide or know who you really are.
Before you even entertain the idea of asking him out or having a gay relationship, I suggest you talk to a sex therapist or something to sort out your feelings. Also as others here would agree, know him better. DO NOT ask a lot of gay related questions. I don't think he is stupid not to notice your gay questions. If possible ask him once or make a comment about gay people. Just make sure it is part of the conversation. Like you saw this tv show about gay people or you meet a gay guy whom your friend introduced and he seems cool. That you never thought gay people were cool. Look for his reaction.
Finally, I am a bit hesistant in encouraging you to have a relationship with your officemate. As one poster here said, if things don't go well, he might "out" you and be in an awkward position working with him. That is why I never like to have a relationship with my workmates. I must fire him first before I make the move ;-D More questions? Click on my avatar and send me a message. By the way, do not worry, if you send me a message through Answers Yahoo, your email address wont be shown including mine.
2006-12-22 06:30:39 · answer #2 · answered by PAXson 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As the other posters have said, you may well be bisexual, if not gay. Most people have a pretty good idea if someone is interested in them. You might think about broaching the subject of bisexuality "in animals" with him as a way of opening the door. If he gets offended or doesn't support a conversation, you would then have a pretty good idea that it's not a subject he'd like to discuss. Either way, whether sexual or not, there is no reason not to have a friendship with him. Invite him to supper, to a game, to play sports or watch a movie. Good luck and don't fret too much.
2006-12-22 00:40:06 · answer #3 · answered by cranura 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't beleivein bisexuality so I am going to have to say you are gay. All those hetero relationships you had were just done because you maybe felt you had to.
You need to invite him out for a beer and explore him some more. If you have an idea that he may like you then be straight up and ask him..but only out of the owrk place. Make him understand that if he tells you he is not gay then you understand and it shouldn't affect your work relationship. Explain to him that you are getting mixed signals and you want to make sure what his intentions are.
2006-12-22 00:47:50 · answer #4 · answered by AnthonyPaul 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I applaud you for being connected to your feelings and not being ashamed of them. As far as relationships go that's a mystery to me!! Chances are crushes are just that and the other person probably won't feel the same way. some guys are really mean and offended by M2M attraction. You are rolling the dice if you take a chance by saying something. You also don't want to screw up your work environment. You can always hope for that magic moment... and opportunity that just falls in your lap. I wouldn't press it.
2006-12-22 00:39:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a damn shame that this isn't happening somewhere besides work because you could really explore yourself and find out where you are at (and that could only be a good thing) but you are at work and sex has NOTHING to do with that whether you are homo, hetero, bi, or whatthefuckever.....
2006-12-22 00:35:22 · answer #6 · answered by brucebhumphrey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't make things weird. Develop a good friendship with him first, flirt with him a little, and gauge his reaction. If he seems to respond positively to the flirtation, then do it a little more. Taking small steps is important. However, I do not condone cheating.
2006-12-22 02:19:30 · answer #7 · answered by Miss D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dating at work is just a BAD idea. If it doesn't work out, ekkk. If you go for this and he "outs" you, would you be able to stay there? Is it worth the risk? It sounds like a lot to gamble...good luck with the soul searching though!!
2006-12-22 00:44:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are thinking of him sexually, then yeah.....you must be starting to find out that you are bisexual....you can't be gay becoz you like women as well. If your are not thinking of him sexually, then maybe it's just admiration...there are women who I admire a lot and want to be friends with....I love looking at beautiful women.......but I don't have the urge to be with a women sexually..........so that doesn't make me lesbian....
2006-12-22 01:01:54 · answer #9 · answered by Cream 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well start talking to him. gradually turn the topic to gay issues. Ask him what he thinks about same sex marriages...get a feel for where he stands on things...If you're confused by your feelings, rest assured we were all confused at one point...you seem to be handling it quite well so far.
2006-12-22 01:41:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋