Who can get the Best Answer?

Question

Tell me something SUPER funny but random? Nothing Innapropriate

Answer 1

Never throw toilet paper at a bear.

Answer 2

Once, I was in a toilet doing my BIG business and when I've done, as usual, realized that there's no toilet paper in that cubicle.

I heard some movement from the next cubicle and so I go "Hi someone next door, could you please pass me the toilet roll to me. Thank you."

Few second later, a hand with a toilet roll go underneath my cubicle's door. That was a smooth and fair man's hand I had ever see. And a voice came by "Yo, here it is, and Miss, you sound like a man."

That was a nice sweet voice of a lady............ the rest of the story you carry on........

Answer 3

I like to go to Carvel Ice Cream stores, and ask the 'new guy' behind the counter to go in the back freezer, and get me 3lbs. of milk fed veal.

Seriously. It was a blast...but way too long a story.

Answer 4

I'm a stay at home mom and my husband is gonna retire soon so my 4 y/o was mad at me today and told me with all seriousness that she is very excited that daddy wont have a job and that i will have to go back to work and i wont be home to boss her or daddy around anymore

Answer 5

Some how my mom counted 52 states on the U.S. map then got offended when I told her we only have 50.

Answer 6

Coded Message

After numerous rounds of "We don't know if Osama Bin Laden is still alive", Osama decided to personally send President Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was "still in the game".

Mr. Bush opened the letter, which contained a single line of "coded" message:

370HSSV-0773H

Mr. Bush was baffled, so he sent copies to his Chief of Staff, and several Secretaries, including Condi Rice and Donald Rumsfeld.

Their assistants and aides had no clue as to the meaning or translation of the code, so it was sent to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, then to the CIA and also to NASA.

With no clue to the translation, they eventually asked Israel's MOSAD for help.

Within a minute, MOSAD cabled the White House with this reply:

"Tell the President he is holding the message upside down."


another?

Actual Label Instructions 2

1. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late! You lose!)

2. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

3. On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)

4. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (As opposed to use in outer space?)

5. On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now I'm curious.)

6. On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (Really? Peanuts contain nuts?)

7. On an American Airlines packet of nuts INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (I'm glad they cleared that up.)

8. On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)

9. On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

10. On some frozen dinners: SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.

11. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: FITS ONE HEAD.

12. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

13. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine: DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.

14. On Nightly sleep aid: WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. (Duh!)

Answer 7

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Answer 8

kevin federline is the greatest rapper alive..

and he is a great wrestler too

and george bush is the greatest president the us has ever seen


☺Sëäsóñˉs•Gŗĕĕŧĭηĝ˜š♥

Answer 9

A pair of trumpeter swans landed on our lake.

Answer 10

A watched kettle never boils.

such a silly saying.