22 weeks pregnant and frustrated with husband !!?

Question

he's ignoring me he will barely even touch me and he never wants sex anymore. i've given up on even trying and i feel terribly emotional about this. sometimes i cry myself to sleep and he doesn't notice that either.

i've already told him how i feel and he just makes excuses: to tired, have to get up early, has to CALL HIS MOTHER, watching t.v. you name it, i've heard the excuse. i'm SO FRUSTRATED. what should i do now???

i am 34, he's 38. we both have children from our first marriages. this baby was done with in vitro method... VERY PLANNED!

Answer 1

I'm 35 weeks and my husband drives me crazy!! He still wants sex, that isn't the problem.

But he never wants to help out around the house. I was mad at him earlier because he wasn't drying the dishes right (yes, I know that's me being a crazy, full of hormones, *****). So he started yelling and then I said I was leaving. So he says that since I'm always complaining then he can call me a *****!!! I was so mad! I ended up just driving around the block and sitting there for about 10 minutes, if that.

I was so upset!! He has no sympathy for me whatsoever with this pregnancy. He got mad at me last week in church because it was hot. I had him take his coat off because it was rubbing on my arm and making me hot. I wanted to cry right there in church but I saved it for the car ride home. We were with my mom so I had her explain to him that pregnant women get hot when others may not be. He didn't care, he just said nothing.

He wants his baby more than anything and he is a really good guy and will be a great dad. But he just doesn't like to help around the house and it really bugs me.

I'm sorry to rant on your rant. But I feel your pain with being frustrated with the one who should be doing what we need at this time. Life is hectic enough and then we are pregnant and can't seem to always count on the ones we should be abe to count on.

I hope this makes you feel a little bit better. At least you didn't mention him calling you a *****! I'm not really sure what you should do because I'm not sure what I should do. Driving around the block did help but I don't think it helped him much. But am I trying to help him or me? I don't know -- I get confused!!

I hope you have a great Christmas and that your husband starts to pay more attention to you!!

Answer 2

I'm 24 weeks pregnant and I know exactly what you are going through right now. I ended up talking to my hubby about this and it seemed to help.
Some guys get a little freaked out by the fact that his baby is inside of you and that when you have sex it isn't too far away from that. It doesn't help when he can see the baby moving while in the act, it kind of ruins the mood a little bit. I would sit down with him and explain that number one, pregnancy makes you feel pretty unsexy and when you are trying to get in the mood and he shoots you down, it doesn't help you with your self-image. Talk it out and have him tell you his side of the story. He may not even understand why he is feeling the way he does. He may also need some reassurance that it's ok to have sex while pregnant. Maybe he's just having a hard time getting in the mood because he sees you more like the Virgen Mary than his wife right now. Try to get things rolling by running a warm bath and having him take one with you or something else romantic that he loves. I hope that helps.

Answer 3

That's unfortunate. My girlfriend and I have a 5 month old baby and I couldn't imagine having been anything but supportive of her during her pregnancy. Unfortunately, some guys aren't man enough to realize they have to take responsibility for what they create which leads to erratic behavior or situations where they flat out leave the woman hanging. My suggestion to you would be maybe you guys could go out for dinner or something or arrange a time to actually sit down and meet with his parents and have a discussion because if he's not listening or responding to you then you need some sort of help there. If nothing works out in the end, sadly enough to say you might be better off pushing him out of the scene period. If he's not willing to assist you now he's definetely not going to be willing to assist you once your child comes into this world. It doesn't get any easier from here, having a child changes your entire life and apparently he's not quite ready for that as of right now. If you need any other help or just want someone to talk to you can message me if you'd like. Best of luck to you and I hope everything works out.

Answer 4

Did you guys plan this baby? Are you guys young? was there problems before the pregnancy? Well if all these things add up there could be more to it. Is his family happy for you? Does he at least kiss you or hug you or tell you he loves you? Well you need to find away to get him to talk and work it out. Try reverse physiology on him. Go sleep on the couch, by a vibrator, hang with your friends, Find things to do without him and see if he comes running. Good luck, I hope it works out with you guys - I am also pregnant - 10 weeks.

Answer 5

LISTEN TO WHAT I TELL YOU, and you will have a better undestanding!!
I am assuming this is your first pregnancy, and your husband is
expressing 'all' the 'NORMAL' symtoms of 'fear'.. I'll explain.
Most 'first-time' fathers have a 'real' fear of hurting the unborn child, and he also has a 'geniune fear' that the baby will
somehow know (feel) it when he enters you.
I know this sounds weird, but it is 'VERY' real to them..
My son-in law went through the exact same thing with my daughter, and she was just as frustrated as you.
These men also experience a form of 'jealousy', that they will no longer have just 'you'.
They don't intentionally feel these things, it's a psychological
thing that they themselves often don't understand.
Nonetheless it's a 'bunch' of mixed emotions and genuine fears.
PLEASE be patient with him, and try to see things from his perspective.
If you try to see things from a mans point of veiw, maybe you'll
understand why he has been acting like he has.
Just love him and be patient.
Talk to him if you like about this, he may just open up and admit these feelings to you.. 'HE DOES LOVE YOU" dear.

Answer 6

I dont know what it is about men????? One day they cant keep their hands out of our pants the next day we cant get them in!!!!
I feel for you, and can say I can relate!!! It is fusterating,irritating,and completly annoying!!! I dont know what to tell you but let him know if he cant even try to satisify you then you can do it yourself...I know it sounds really bad but sometimes will work. I would say to have a major FIT but your pregnant and that is not good for you right now.
Also, next time when he is in the mood..... go call your mom or make sure you have a show to watch ( that is if you can control yourself,lol) Turnabout is fair play!!
I would deffently say something about him ignoring your crying yourself to sleep.This is not a heathy feeling for you or your child.
Deffently talk to him, let him know how you feel, you are pregnant NOT dead!!
Some times you have to break out the crayons and draw men a picture before they see anything other than that f'n T.V.!!!

Answer 7

Have you considered Counciling? Pregnancy is a rough time in some marriages and the counciler may help him and you uncover some feelings and work through some issues. If you don't do this soon you will resent him for a long time for taking what could have been a happy time and making it sad.

Answer 8

My husband was the same way for awhile till I discovered that the problem wasnt that he didnt want me, but he thought that he might hurt the baby...perhaps this is your fellas problem aswell...to fix it, I took him to a doc appointment and asked openly if sex would hurt the baby, and what the chances of anything going wrong because of sex would be...from then on hubbies been more that attentive in that department...lol

Answer 9

Being a new parent is freightening, I expect he is freaking out (I did)... Calling his mom, could be for parental advice (my sisters 4 me)... The "fellas" may not be the best support group in this case. Being a new parent is also the most beautiful experience. Settle down, rub your belly smoothly and softly, watch some old funny cartoons, and share them with your "baby"..

Answer 10

Remember what happened to Lacy Peterson?
You've got worse things to be worried about than not getting your emotional needs fulfilled!
I would be 1. checking with doctors about a late term abortion and 2. contacting a lawyer secretly and making sure I know where hubby's money is, because with a baby on the way and a husband that is acting like you describe, you have some very serious problems and you need to keep an even head on your shoulders.
And, like I said, more women are murdered when they are pregnant than at any other time. I'm not trying to scare you, just letting you know that a man that acts like this can be a monster who is just now showing you who he is. And you need to prepare yourself for the worst, for self protection. It will get worse before it gets better.
ps: Lots of guys secretly LOVE pregnant women! You got a real dud, sorry.