Okay, my husband took a job in California. (against my better judgment) we agreed he could do it for a year. Well, now it's almost a year and now he's enrolled in college up there. Beyond that he has told me after graduation he wants to continue working in California...b/c it pays the most and fly home every other week. Currently, he is flying home once a month for 6 days. And, now that he's in school he won't be coming home for at least 3 months or unitl school holidays.... I can't live like this. What should I do??
2006-12-21 16:18:24 · 7 answers · asked by Hear2Help 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I read your other question too.
soooo.....You can't live like this? Or you won't live like this? That is what it boils down to. You're not getting any younger(child-bearing wise). If it were me, I would have flat out said hell no you aren't going without me! Suddenly your lives are separate.
Time is going to pass-no matter what right? So, maybe just sit and figure out if you can bear it for however much longer he'll be gone-and give it your best shot, understanding and accepting your own fears (rational or irrational) of insecurity, and the possibility infidelity on his part, and yours.
He can get a job anywhere-but he needs to put his job as your husband first, and foremost. It's not all about the money-tell him that.
It still doesn't make any sense to continue living separate-as husband and wife.
2006-12-21 17:29:00 · answer #1 · answered by Little Jeannie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It must put a strain on your marriage. If your husband wont leave California then the fact that he'd agreed on trying it for a year - he is putting his job and education before you. Although I think he should have done that before you got married. Are you prepared to move out there to try it for a year? If not, you might be as well both moving on seperately now rather than a few months or year or two down the line.
2006-12-21 16:35:10 · answer #2 · answered by Agony Aunt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a time to evaluate your relationship. If he puts his interests about the relationship, that is a problem.
However, to be a devil's advocate--the same could be said by him about you (no offense intended). Something must have been wrong at the begining to even agree to have your husband move without you to CA and to only see him 6 days a month.
It is time for both of you to sit down and see where your futures are going and if you are going there together.
2006-12-21 16:24:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i could pass everywhere interior the international with my Jamie. despite if i did no longer like the folk and the area, i'm happy if i'm with him. i know that for a certainty pondering I ought to make the existence changing determination to the two pass to Ontario Canada while he is going decrease back residing house from college, or stay here in Maine. I already know i won't be ready to stay without him. issues could replace and he could stay here somewhat, yet i could be extra suitable than prepared to pass there with him.
2016-11-28 03:32:39 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband moved away and made a life for himself. If you don't want to join him in California, file for divorce. I have a feeling that he's got a girlfriend. Men can't live without female companionship for such extended periods of time like he has, so I'm sure he's got someone taking care of his needs. I'm sorry, and I know this is sad, but you deserve to have a life too. It's time to cut your losses and run. Good luck.
2006-12-21 16:22:35 · answer #5 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he refuses to come to you, then either you go to him or its time to go your own ways.
2006-12-21 16:21:32 · answer #6 · answered by HarleeNicole 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you dont move, count on him finding another woman, if he hasnt already.
2006-12-21 16:21:06 · answer #7 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋