My daughter is 14 and lives with her Dad in another state. She wanted me to come for Christmas, but I could not get time off from work and did not want to stay with her and her Dad. I would not have been able to stay in a hotel. She is upset with me because I did not visit her for Christmas.
My ex-husband is sending me e-mails that are mean and nasty. The wording states that I am selfish and all about money and don't deserve to have the child live with me. I asked him to send the child to me since he is not able to handle her. He says that I have ruined the child's life when he had sole physical and legal custody because I gave it to him.
I feel bad because everyone is angry with me. I also do feel selfish for worrying about myself and not being the one to keep the family together.
I did leave him because he was emotionally, verbally and physically abusive.
2006-12-21 15:19:46 · 8 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It probably seems to you that most of the people answering are not being very supportive. Don't let that bother you, you had your reasons for leaving, your daughter will get over it, children are very forgiving. IF she is not like him already, you must do what you have to do to survive, no one that has responded to your post knows what you have been through, only you know.
best wishes to you
2006-12-21 15:52:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a question for you. If your husband was so emotionally, verbally and physically abusive then how did he get custody of your daughter. Why can't your daughter come to where you are for Christmas instead of you going there? I just can't get past the whole you gave him custody but he is emotionally, verbally and physically abusive. Something isn't right here. You need some help or something.
2006-12-21 23:31:30 · answer #2 · answered by Lucinda M 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Wow you left your daughter with a man who by your own description is emotionally, verbally and physically abusive. I'd feel bad, too. No wonder the girl is uncontrollable. She's probably so angry she doesn't know what to do with herself. She feels as though you abandoned her. You need to find a way to make it up to her for not coming for Christmas at the very least. I wouldn't care what he's feeling but, your daughter is another matter. Try to find someone to cover your shift and borrow the money if you have to but, go to your daughter, she needs you.
2006-12-21 23:39:26 · answer #3 · answered by mjm52 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Maybe it is time to go back to court and petition for custody. Why would you want your child raised by an abusive man? If he was that way to you to he going to be that way with her. Where do you think she is learning to be such an angry hostile young adult. Children learn what they live. If you want her to have a normal healthy attitude you will probably need to get her away from her abusive angry father as fast as possible. Why would you give your child up in the first place? I can't as a mother begin to imagine doing that.
2006-12-21 23:34:28 · answer #4 · answered by Sally B 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Whatever is going on between you and your ex husband needs to stop. If you two need to get into counseling to hash things out, for the mental well being of your daughter, then please do it.
Divorce is very hard on kids. Maybe your daughter is angry at you because she feels that you are not making any efforts to see her. I am not at all judging you or this situation, but your ex seems frustrated, your daughter seems angry and frustrated, so I think you need to sit them both down and try to talk with them together, unless of course you feel that that can't happen for whatever reason.
You can leave your ex for being abusive, but my question to you is, if he is abusive, how did he get custody, and do you feel comfortable with your daughter living with an abuser?
2006-12-21 23:42:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Both of you are responsible for ruining that childs childhood, but her life is not at a loss if she matures and realises her parents are both wrong.
2006-12-21 23:31:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go one with your life and be happy don't let anything or anyone take your joy away from you they didn't give it to you so they can't take it away
2006-12-21 23:25:01 · answer #7 · answered by tellthetruth 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
question... did you give him custudy or did the judge give him custudy? Why can't your daughter come and visit you...
2006-12-21 23:23:53 · answer #8 · answered by Autumns Destany 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋