I'm getting married in 9 months. I am in love with my fiancée and am excited about our future together. We are in our early 30's and were together for 2 years before we got engaged. We have a happy and healthy relationship. Prior to being with him, I was in 3 year relationship with someone who i thought was 'the one' but I broke up with him because I was no longer happy and he wasn't good for me. I never would get back with my ex and nor do I even miss his company....BUT, for god's sake, why does he pop into my head about 3 or 4 times per day. Why does he enter my mind at all? We don't talk at all either. I finally am getting married to someone who I am meant for, but why does an ex keep entering my mind ...i just want to forget about him completely. I will feel like hell if I think of him on my wedding day. I feel like i'm psychotic or or I should go to hypnotism or something to get him out of my head. He is a good person but i don't miss him. I'm confused.
2006-12-21 15:16:08 · 25 answers · asked by bizarre 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are probably under a little stress trying to get yourself ready for the big event and your mind is slipping back into an old memory. It is just a response because the last time you felt like this was with the ex. Just relax and understand that it is the similar circumstances that bring back a thought of him-not that you want to be with him.
2006-12-21 15:18:51 · answer #1 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A thought is just a thought as long as you keep it as a thought, if you make conscience of your thoughts then you might have a problem. When you get married it will be a constant fight against many thoughts. I would not take a desicion on less i am 100% sure of what i am going to do. Ask God to help you, and to show you if he is the right person. Is he willing to fight the good fight until death separate you, the first thing to do is recognize that none of you can keep the marriage together on less God is the center of your marriage. Few couples have God in their center and look at whats happening.
2006-12-21 23:46:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe it's because u have finally found the right one, and u may be thinking about all the problems u had with the ex, maybe u are feeling a bit sad thinking why couldn't it have worked out this good with the other guy.maybe your wondering why the other man treated u badly and maybe your not believing this man will treat u well either. sometimes when we have been hurt we do wonder if we have truly found the right one, we look back with sadness that we had to go through so much hurt to finally get where we are.
2006-12-22 07:56:08 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been happily married for 7 years, together for 12. The ex'es still have a way of popping into thought with some regularity. I don't miss them, I don't need them, I don't fantasize about them. They are just people who had a signifigant role in my life and are part of who I am today. I just think its normal, unless you have other feelings associated with the memory that are uncomfortable or in some way taking priority over your current "real" life.
2006-12-22 00:00:14 · answer #4 · answered by Marrs G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not confused, you're drrrrty...
Actually, that was a joke... not appropriate, but then neither is fantasising about your ex... or is it?
Of course it is natural that your mind drifts off... but why not someone who you have not previously rejected (or rejected you)?
Yes, do what I do... fantasise about people you come across while travelling or shopping or whatever... it is much less confusing & you can give them an imaginary name matching that of your partner... thus @ the height of orgasm, you can freely engage the fantasy & be free of worries about screaming out the wrong name!
Ay, yes, being a philosopher is a nice job...
2006-12-21 23:18:13 · answer #5 · answered by K V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay girl. Was that s** good or what? Maby deep down you are missing him a little, but everyone goes through that before they take a major step. If you are wondering now that's good. You should find everything out and investigate every avenue before you take a step for the rest of your life.
2006-12-21 23:27:14 · answer #6 · answered by liberty girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
something is unresolved. it may not even be about him but youre rethinking the whole "marriage" thing perhaps? maybe you need to give it a little more time. or maybe you should "see" this ex just to make sure there isnt some unresolved issue with him. you also may just be OVER thinking this thing with him you know like the more you try not to think about him the more you actually will, you are subconsciencly willing yourself to think about him, let it go and it will slowly get out of your mind.
2006-12-21 23:25:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are confused. You still love him, so don't go through with this wedding. Contact him and see if the two of you can work things out because if you're still thinking about him after being in this relationship this long, then you're just kidding yourself. Like I said DON'T GO THROUGH WITH THIS WEDDING, because your fiancee be wondering what happened to you when you're looking at him through your rearview mirror.
2006-12-21 23:37:05 · answer #8 · answered by bear4141usa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your thinking of him because, you thought HE was the one for you before. Now its more of a subconscious thing. Thinking, oh my god i wanted to marry him, now i am going to marry this new guy, what if the same thing happens. Don't worry, your not still in love with him, and if you think about him on your wedding day, so what, think huh, his loss, now this is the RIGHT guy.
2006-12-21 23:48:26 · answer #9 · answered by mozartbuffy69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got dumped by my ex after 24 years of marriage.....it takes time, no matter how long the relationship.
I still have dreams with him in them.........but I am always really pissed........hmmmmm......
Hon, thinking about what "was" means nothing, because it can never be what IS.
In time that crap will fade. And it IS CRAP---but necessary-evil crap, like PAP tests, lol.
2006-12-21 23:23:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋