Why would an American man ever want to marry an American woman in today's society?

Question

Just curious, why taking into account the way society is today why would an American male(specially if you are non religious) under 40, white or black ever want to marry an American woman? I have been to about 4 weddings of Americas in the last 4 years between white male/white female, w/w, black/black, and bl male/wh female. They all got divorced in less than 2 years. Everybody that I know is getting divorced. 1) These days it is very easy to have sex without getting married, and sex is nothing to so many American women (believe me I went to college here, why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free). 2) Before most of the time the woman was the main person holding the marriage, nowadays that is mostly not the case, lots of them are pretty quick in divorcing. 3) Money loses in general are pretty bad for males. 4) Many American women are raised to be like males, not many good wives in that group, more into parties & drinking. Living with somebody seems so much efficient, and simple

I am not trying to attack anybody or American women, no need to get bitter or do personal attacks in your comments. I think people are free to live anyway they want to live, and I think that there are a few women that might be good wives (especially if they are religious, just based on my observations). I am just curious for males who are under 40 today? Why not just live together, so if you split up the social & financial ramifications are not as bad? I have heard a few good answers so far. It seems that some American women got offended. I am just asking a question based on my observations. I have traveled a lot in my life, and I know lots of people. I am lucky to be in a good relationship with an American woman raised in a different culture, so her set of values are very different. But I think the standard set of values in the US in general for women have not really prioritized marriage in the last 40 years or so. I am not sure if is good or bad, it is just the way it is

Answer 1

Well my hubby are I are one of the few people that got married young (21) We have been together for 2 years so far. Its hard just like any other marriage is.

1 Yes today sex has no meaning to some people and has been practically downgraded to nothing more than a casual hug. But what are the reasons for that? One could argue that pornography and the acceptance of it in society has contributed to it.
2 For me the only reason to divorce is adultery. I will not tolerate a liar or a cheat or allow that person to remain married to me setting an example to my children that it is alright to cheat on their spouse
3 Who cares about money? If someone is so wrapped up in what they will lose $$ in a divorce then get a prenup
4 I was not raise to be like a male, even though I did grow up with two brothers. My mother taught me simple things that a girl should know like cooking, sewing, etc. I didn't get drunk once in college, I was to busy taking care of my drunk then boyfriend now hubby. And besides I don't really have any interest of making an *** out of myself or losing control over and situation.

Answer 2

Maybe, the question should be why would an American girl want to marry an American guy? There are two sides to every story. The relationships that ended in divorce, what was the reason?

I think that society as a whole is changing the roles that men and women traditionally held. No longer is it that the woman stays home and does the cooking and cleaning. For most couples, it is necessary that the wife have to work and take care of the household duties. While it seems that the men still only have to take on the role of breadwinner.

I'm sure that money losses happen to both parties of the relationship. Maybe you're right and people should just live together.

One more thought, if American women are not good enough maybe you should consider not living in America!!!!

Answer 3

Well, I can kinda see both sides of the question here, being a child of a divorced family and being a non-religious woman who lives with her boyfriend. But really, the proper way to word this question isn't "Why would a male want to marry a female?" it's "Why would anyone want to get married?"

Because it sounds like you're saying the "problem" with women these days is that they're more like men..as in, it's acceptable for a man to drink and party and have premarital sex with no second thoughts and to want a divorce when things go downhill, but when women start engaging in these same behaviors...WHOA!!! Now THAT'S awful!!! *sarcasm* So maybe you're not looking at this in the proper light. You're saying women are basically doing the same things men have been doing, that doesn't mean women are becoming bad wives...it means you just basically said men have already been bad husbands for a loooong time. Neither of which is necessarily true in every case, but for the purposes of this exercise....

If we looked at it in the sense of "Why would anyone want to get married?" the easiest answer is that some people probably shouldn't. They aren't really in love, or they're natural cheaters, or they're not ready to give up their single status and be tied down. Everyone is too freaking quick to rush to the altar to prove that they have found "the one" faster than all their friends and will "never" be alone again...they don't take the time to get to know someone before making a lifelong commitment, which is definitely necessary. And just because someone isn't ready for commitment doesn't mean they're defective...but it does mean they shouldn't run down the aisle.

That being said, there ARE men and women who truly do love each other and truly do want to get married and spend the rest of their lives together....and who will do it just fine. Maybe marriage isn't for everybody, but that doesn't mean it isn't for somebody.

Answer 4

Boo, you have it all wrong and twisted. No one is supposed to marry unless they meet the person that makes them better than who they are when they are by themselves. It is not just an American woman that is shallow; it is the man as well. We cannot do it without the help of you men. You stated yourself that it was the woman who held the marriage together. Don't you think that we are tired of that? Why not hold it together, male and female? After all, it is not only the woman who has taken vows. We have watched our grandmothers, mothers, sisters, aunts, and best friends loose their marriages for things that the man has decided. After all of that work, you tend to pass the "warnings" down to your daughters. After the warnings come the expectations that the marriage will fail anyway, so why try to hold on to a man that shows that he is not worth holding on to? We now make more money, are more independent, and no longer need men's approvals. The moment you cut up, we cut out. This does not make it right, but baby, we have learned from you men. Give yourself and your fellow brothers some credit. If you keep electrocuting the mouse when she tries to eat, eventually she will stop. And by the way, I know many foreign women who marry American men and they are no better. A lot of them are looking for a "way out". Once they get it, they leave too. It is not about the "American" or "Foreigner" that makes a great wife (or husband). It is the quality of the person that you choose to marry.

Answer 5

"why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
"american women raised to be like males, not many good wives in the group, more into parties & drinking"
"before most of the time the woman was the main person holdingt the marriage"

HAHAHAHA, your question isn't even worth the answer. It's clear to me that you are sexist and pathetic little man who knows absolutely nothing about women as people.

Answer 6

What are they gonna do? Let all american men go off to a diffrent country and find a wife who is submissive had no opinion and just cooks their meal and letting him take charge just a simple housewife 12 kids no job? is that a perfect woman/wife to you? Not every single woman goes out clubbing drinking having sex dont think "American Women" are ALL Paris Hilton and Nichole Richie or whoever.Maybe everybody YOU know is getting divorcied because they BOTH were hardheaded and not ment to be.I know marriges that have lasted and the only couples getting divorcied are american?.and I hope that you didnt go to some party college gawsh thats when kids "explore" dont think the whole population is like that do not other countries have "wild" girls.? and living with somebody can become a disaster diffrent personalites of people trying to combine both of their lives to work.and for me? I wasnt raised as a male I sit down when I pee
.But I was however raised to not let anyone a man or woman take control of me and be able to make it on my own

Answer 7

Well, you could be like the man who married the Filipino nurse. Some men prefer women who are submissive, so they marry women from cultures where men are dominant. American women have become more independent and do not need men. This allows them more choice in marriage and does not force them to stay with a man who does not treat them well.

The key to finding a lasting partner is to 1. wait until you are old enough and mature enough to know what you want and need. 2. marry someone who you are compatible with intellectually, physically, morally, sexually, and personality. 3. Make sure you know the person thoroughly and don't rush into it. 4. Go into it with the attitude that you are both willing to work to keep it good.
5. This one is for you personally--get counseling and read some good self-help books to figure out why you are so bitter about women and marriage before you get into a serious relationship.

Answer 8

Why not get marry? Most people do it. Divorce isn't so bad, why think negative? Women do like sex, that is why Romance books are popular... you should read one of the Romance book, it got sex in it, wow. Women in the past had hard time finding jobs,
that is why they were the main person holding the marriage.
Money and Material things are nothing, you won't go to Heaven
with those things anyway, but you'll have good memories of marriage though. I wasn't raise to be like males, many girls
don't, Mostly girls nowadays still don't know how to change
car tires and we don't like cutting grass. So there,
American women are not so bad as you thought, so stop
thinking negative... Most marriage ended in divorce is
because men or women cheating.... so anyway...
Your wife will have sex with you every night, if you treat her
right and compliment her on how sexy she looks... instead of saying, "You're too fat!!!"

Answer 9

I don't know what kind of women that you have been around but, I don't think you are right on this one. I am an American woman married to an American man-I have been married for 24 years, I was not raised like a male as you say and I am not into partying and drinking- I am into raising my children and trying to make the world a better place for my children to live in. Your attitude is a little warped.

Answer 10

It is not necesarily a woman's job to uphold a marriage. I also disagree that woman can be "raised to be like males". A male does not have to be dominant. Just as a woman does not have to be dominant. And what is a good wife? Ask the woman who you deem not a good wife what a good husband is.

It is all a matter of perspective and values. I will agree that different cultures express different values in the entire population and in men vs. women. Whichever culture suits you best I say you aim for. But do not expect very many women of today to do everything you ask and to be ladylike. I am sorry to say that, in my experience, if this is your expectation and demand, you are to be sourly dissappointed.

Sincere wishes for your luck in love, and happy holidays to all.