I know my husband was aware it was my birthday this month, because he simply said "happy birthday wife" (that's what he calls me, "wife") on the correct day. However, he did not present me with card or a gift of any kind. In fact, I had gone shopping that day and my stepchild said he asked his father (my husband) to take him to the store to get me a B-day card and my husband said no. He has gotten me at least a card in the past, but not every time. I feel resentful that he does not think enough to even pick out a card. There had not been an argument, etc. so I am unsure how to interpret his non-chalance. I also did not want to bring up the subject to him either. But festering will not solve anything. Thanks. Oh, btw, we have been married three years and one and half years of dating prior.
2006-12-21 14:35:41 · 30 answers · asked by soozemusic 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ignore it. Dont keep thinking about it. He seems to be insensitive. You do the same to him.
2006-12-21 14:45:04 · answer #1 · answered by rams 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When is his birthday? Check it out.... one good turn deserves another! What I mean by that is this, if there is no underlying reason for his behavior, such as ongoing issues between the two of you, then that tells me he is a cheapskate. I would do the EXACT thing on his birthday, exactly! Now, if on his birthday you normally make a fuss, he will not be able to resist the urge to ask you, "What's Up?" Then I would simply say, "Oh, how forgetful of me, Happy Birthday husband." I guarantee you he will have something else to say about it at that point. So, then you say, "I figured that because on my birthday I didn't get so much as a card, that we were just not going to bother with such things as birthday's anymore. But, I see now that isn't the case at all so..... what is that about? Why would you deliberately NOT acknowledge my birthday, and then be expecting something from me on yours?"
That is the perfect way to find out just what the deal is, you know.
I don't know how long it is till his B.D. hopefully not too long!
Hope I have been of some help to you. Good Luck, Your friend on line, Terry
2006-12-21 18:58:39 · answer #2 · answered by Terry Ranaye 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh! How this sounds soooooo familiar. I'm married 17 years and you would think he'd get it straight by now. No, I don't think so. I always go out and get him not only a card, but a cute romantic gift. He tells me thanks but it wasn't necessary. I'm the type that I'm an easy person to bye a gift for. Anyways, most of the time I have to hint to him still and he asks me things like okay well what do you want? You figure after 17 years he should have a pretty good idea. I like cards and little things that say I love you on them, you know cute sentimental things. I feel they just get to comfortable in the marriage and feel they don't have to do those cute romantic things. Wrong! I guess most likely you're just going to have to keep dropping hints early enough or like I've said to my husband a few times hey hon my birthday is in two days I would like a card if you really love me dear. You know I love you dear I always get you cards etc.
2006-12-21 15:32:17 · answer #3 · answered by art_girlt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG, is that a hard one! Well i would personally say there is something wrong with that guy. Fist is the thing that he calls you 'wife' that sounds really controlling! The other thing is that he does not seem to care about you, or your feelings. Even if he was short on money over your b-day he could have at least made a card for you. Another thing. Do you think that he still has feelings for his ex if he is acting this way? I think that you need some help!!! I don't know if that is just talking to him or a marriage counselor but you need to do something about this. It sounds as if he is controlling.
2006-12-21 15:00:54 · answer #4 · answered by thatonegirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you marry someone who never took the time to remember your birthday... that is if that is what you expected the man who loves you to do... ok that being said you need to tell your darling husband that if he don't at least show some kind of effort to remember special days (like your birthday) then you are going to take it upon yourself to go out and spend his money on something very expensive... the choice was his.. and if you buy him special gift s for special times... then stop now... because he doesn't appreciate them.. but one thing that I would do is take your child out and give him money to buy you something because you do not want him growing up and being like his dad as far as buying gifts for people you supposely love..
2006-12-21 14:50:39 · answer #5 · answered by Autumns Destany 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no excuse for him to not recognize your birthday with at least a card. It is way too soon to stop giving you something for that day.
He may plan to give you something special for the Holidays, but that is no excuse to skip your birthday all together. You have every right to be resentful about this. I would not be able to keep quiet. I would make him sit down and tell me why my birthday was not important enough to him to at least get me a card.
2006-12-21 14:42:06 · answer #6 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a male, I find this unbelievably insensitive. I planned my girlfriend's birthday (last Sunday) out for weeks. I listened to her and tried to make sure that my gifts matched her wants and needs. I have done the same thing for Christmas. Admittedly, I make decent money, but I think your husband sounds like a real jerk.
2006-12-21 14:56:48 · answer #7 · answered by balderarrow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is pretty much like that. My stepson is always the one who remembers and asks him to take him to the store. Hubby figures that we buy pretty much what we want all year and the day's just not that different. It's kind of weird. I have to initiate things. But I've accepted it. Funny.. Now on his birthday he gets a tad bummed out if I don't go all out..
2006-12-21 14:41:54 · answer #8 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband is the same way, you get used to it after a while. I buy something nice for myself at least I know I am buying something that I want. I have been married for 24 years.
2006-12-21 14:53:45 · answer #9 · answered by Urchin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deja vu!!!! My husband usually doesn't get me anything for my birthday either. Even after OUR daughter has requested they go out to get something for me. Usually one of the grandmothers takes my daughter out to buy something for me. I don't think that men think about the gift giving thing. It's not even about the gift, but about them taking the time to remember and to do something special.
2006-12-21 14:42:01 · answer #10 · answered by sarabear318 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to put a lot of clout into birthdays and holidays because they used to mean a lot to me. They don't mean much to you know who so I had to adjust and now it is low key, and I have decided that is even better than all the bother. But today is my birthday, and yesterday he brought home two huge lobsters for dinner!!
2006-12-21 14:49:16 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋