Is my friend using me? Is it right? Could I do something without losing our friendship?

Question

I really feel she is using me. WE've been friends since 1st grade and graduated together. I was out of town for a couple years and she's seems a hell of alot different from then. Everytime she asks me to do something and I say I can't she always responsed, "I did stuff for you!" She said that just recently. I secretly let her and her fiance' live with me for a month! Even he agrees. She has done scats of things for me. Nothing compared to what I have done. She always wants it her way. She said she wanted to download music, but I forget and wasn't home. I told her just give e the list of songs and I'll search. She told me no, she wanted. I feel happy she wants me to be her Maid of Honor, but still. I don't want to lose her friendship, but I'm sick of how she acts. What should I do? Is there anything?

Answer 1

I think that you should try to talk to your friend and see what is happening. It may be hard, but do you really want a friend ship in which you are mistreated. You have to ask your self, is she really your friend. Don't forget to communicate, its hard (i know) but it will help you out alot. It may seem like you've done the wrong thing, but who knows,you might actually be doing the right thing. Good luck and trust in your self.

Answer 2

It mostly depends on how much value you place on your friendship ,,,, Your friend has a maturity problem ,,,,, Her fiance probably has the same problem with her about some things too ,,,, It's normal and natural for a young person to be selfish and self centered ,,,, The only one they've had to think about or look out for their whole life is just themselves ,,,, When a new person is added to the equation then they have to make adjustments in their life and to their way they thinking ,,,, Sounds like your friend is at that stage of her life now but it hasn't dawned on her yet that there's someone else in her life and her mode of thinking needs to be adjusted to include another or other people now ,,,, You might have a girl to girl talk with her and hint at this issue subtly and see what happens ,,,,, but like I said it depends on how much you value your friendship with her as to how much effort and understanding and patience you put into this ,,,,, She just might be grateful to you for bringing this to light and helping her to grow up a little ,,,, If you have been friends for a long time then she just might look at what you say as constructive criticism ,,,, It could be a touchy situation though so tread lightly ,,,,, Good luck ,,,, Yoda said this ,,,,

Answer 3

Well friends since 1st grade huh? so you know her from toe to head ....... ok..... let's see...... well if your bestfriends with her why don't you ask her why she's kinda different ever since you came back from your trip? I mean she's a best friend, she should be happy your conserned about her ways that have changed. She must have had something happen to her. Something that has been up. She couldn't have changed like that cuz she woke up on the other side of the bed in the morning. ask her about that. and on the mean while, you can try to figure out what you already paid back. I mean you shouldn't have to do this with friends and espcially bestfriends, they do stuff for each other cuz they care about each other. There shouldn't be any payback for it, but since she was looking for pay back, remind her what you owe her for what you made her do for the past. Maybe some one brong those issues up and made her think that youv'e been walking over her all this time? Well bestfriends don't let things like this stop them from being friends, so don't worry about losing it. Hakuna Matata

Answer 4

Go out for a coffee or hamburger and tell her how you feel, that it is not acceptable to ask you to do things all the time, and bringing things up of her doing things for you will not solve the problem. You do have a life and if she really wants to be your friend and you her maid of honor, she'll has to change. If she can't do that, then she isn't a friend but a moocher.

Answer 5

Why don't you want to lose her friendship? Nostalgia? If she's using you all the time, you aren't in a friendship, you're in a leach-host situation. You are enabling her immaturity and irresponsibility. To have an adult friendship, you have to stand up and be the adult.
Put your foot down when she acts like a child (which is what she's doing). Don't be her doormat! Then you'll see if she's really your friend.

Answer 6

True freinds don't keep a scorecard of what each other has done for each other. You don't need to be a doormat to anyone and she's using guilt to bend you. Toughen up and put your foot down. She'll respect you more for it and if she breaks off your relationship over it you don't really have one to begin with. It's not worth all the stress.

Answer 7

some people are shallow and selfish and there may never be a way for them to change.Friendship isnt based on who does what for who.Its about positive energy created when you are in each others company and how important it is to the both of you.As her friend you must try to make her see her own selfishness as well as watching your own.A true friend doesnt keep account but if your worried then keep record of what you do for her and what she does for you and keep it equal.If shes your friend she will adjust accordingly to keep you as a friend

Answer 8

Just talk to the friend. Maybe she is testing your limits. The important thing is to communicate and to continue to trust in yourself. Stand up for yourself.

Answer 9

tell her you are not a door mat to walk on and to stop trying to push you around .let her know that you want to remain friends but the crap has to stop . if she were your friend as you say she wouldnt be asking for so much

Answer 10

She's a friend because???
School is over.