How do you get your feet back under you after losing all that you stood for?

Question

Lost my kids,job,home,everything ever worked for the only plus was the devorice from a cheating wife after 20 years(found that out after 19 years).She lied in the court system beleived it now I question everything that I do now,never before in my life have I done that.Scared to start over , but know that I have to rebuild my life!!!Just don't know how anymore,have talked to everyone that would listen ,but that hasn't helped ,not sure what to do next.

Answer 1

Try getting into a divorce support group. Call family services and see if they recommend one.

Get out and find a new life. You must put all of this in the past. Learn from it, but don't let it run your life. You can now begin to move into a new chapter of your life that will be exciting and fulfilling for you.

Take some classes, learn a new hobby, join and interest group, get involved in community service organizations. You will meet new and interesting people this way. Never forget you past because it made you who you are. However, don't let the past determine your future. Your future is uncharted and can go any direction you choose.

Answer 2

Sounds like my life from a man's point of view. My ex-husband did the same as your wife. For the past year things have been unbelievable--court system initially failed, however, I did find a wonderful attorney who was able to shed some light. made the world of difference. May I suggest to give yourself some time, regroup and regain strength? Go at this ordeal from another angle once you have some strength.

Not that mine is solved... it's not yet. But, for some really odd reason, things are starting to get there and I NEVER thought that they would/could. Keep your chin up!! SMILE :-) its all gonna work out...believe that.

Answer 3

Go to professional counseling and join a divorce recovery group at one of your local churches. It will help you to start over and see things in a different light. Always remember it takes two people to make a marriage work or not work. She may have cheated but you were a very active part of the marriage. You have to take some responsibility for your failures. It is hard to do, been there and done it. Once you do you will be able to start a new life.

Answer 4

Thank to God, that you are still alive from that situation.Life sometimes is tough,but we can be more,being positives in hard time,and showing ourselves; that we can be winners in all those situations.Forget about the past,learn from that bad experience and move on in your life.Remember is not the end of the world.Thousands of people around the world had worse situations as you have,and with positive thinking they now are a happy people.Go to church will be a good new starting in your present and future life.God bless you every day in your life.Do not give up,move on,go for a new style of live.Good luck.

Answer 5

Well first stop feeling sorry for yourself, Gee your a man and are making all men look bad. So let go of the past. Now what you need to do is dress to impress and go job hunting because now a days you need to look sharp to get a good job. And when you get on which you should, from teh start make a saving account and deposit a little every paycheck. By the time you know it you have enough to get lots of stuff so you can begin your journey for the future. But you must want t it to get it. SO stop feeling sorry and go get them.

Answer 6

My heart goes out to you in a big way. Be true to yourself, don't doubt what you do but allow yourself to be human. You've had the wind knocked out of you and you are trying to recover and you will. It's one day at a time, one hour at a time. Prioritize whats most important and start with that even tho you might feel numb or don't feel like doing it. Once you start to do the everyday normal things it somehow kick starts your healing. Good luck to you and don't listen to anything negative cause as hard as it is you need to start thinking or at least hearing positive.

Answer 7

The way that I found to start again is to just pick a spot and start. Do not quit till that item is done or solved, then do another. You can do this but it requires small steps and one step at a time. At this point in your life it is really easy to become overwelmed. Try not to let this happen. Do what YOU need to do to start life again.

Answer 8

TIME heals all wounds. so accept the fact that you are hurt and totally distroyed, and always set your thinking in positive mode, cause the brain controls the body. if you have negative feelings and thoughts try to replace them with at least 3 positive thoughts.
go back to the time when you were the most happiest in your life. focus on that feeling, everytime you are down
set yourself a goal that you would want to see yourself at in 2 months. write it down what you would like to feel like and what you would like to be. then work towards it, its ok to be down and rockbottom, cause it can only go UP, always remember that.
its some shocking things that you go through right now but let me tell you that you will be just fine in a few weeks.
dont focus on how she was, is or does, just focus on youself. help yourself to feel OK and good about yourself.you will be just fine if you set your head in positive thoughts. trust me

Answer 9

im really sorry for you! i would find a way to still get to see your kids... forget about your ex tho shes bad news an she will do it again to someone else... but dont give up either your life is not over yet! you still have every chance in the world to meet a good woman good luck and i hope this can help

Answer 10

go back to school start over from the beginning, maybe find a cute new girlfriend in college. you can get grants or loans to help the funding. My husband of 25 years is going back to school at age 47...