My wife is with another man. I'm getting drunk and listening to Jeff Buckley and chain smoking. She's the love of my life. How can I survive?
2006-12-21 13:06:13 · 16 answers · asked by Allfather's Ravens 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've never heard of Jeff Buckley. The chain smoking is only going to make you smell like an ashtray! If you're pathetically drunk, you will look just that.......pathetic.
I don't know the circumstances of the break up, but I can tell you this.. if you do a sympathy ploy - it will never work. Pull yourself together! If you've got kids, even if you don't feel you've pulled it together, you do it for them. There is a chance that your wife is just bored and will come back to you, but if you're a drunken, stinking wreck, I don't think she'll find that too attractive. Look back to when you were first together - were you different to how you are now? We all get our hearts broken and time is the healer. Can you talk to any of your friends or family? if not, ring the samaritans if you don't think you can make it through the night.
2006-12-21 13:15:14 · answer #1 · answered by Agony Aunt 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stop that ! Right Now ! No more drinking ! It will only make it worse, and cause deeper depression. You will harm yourself. It won't do any good until she finally realizes she made a big mistake. And she no doubt has. Be thankful you found out now. Would you really want her back knowing she could do this again. How could you trust her.? Do you really want to hurt yourself again. I been there. Just keep busy, keep going, Time will heal your pain., But your heart will never forget. Call a friend and have them come over. Just hang out. Don't talk about her that much. It won't change anything. I used to put on headphones and play music loud, and go for long walks. It helped me sleep. Pray alot. God is always there for you. Sometimes it is a blessing that you can't see yet that she is gone. Give it time. Wait. don't do anything stupid. This is one of the hardest places to be, and one of the hardest things you will have to face in your lifetime. You can make it, and when you do. You will shine in your new life, especially when you get it all together and have a new pretty honey on your arm, and the man she is with grows into a sour apple and she wants you back . Then you can say no. You got your life together and your not letting her tear it or your heart apart again. I can say that when the love of my life broke my heart the worst thing was I let it break my spirit. I never loved anyone again. How sad for me. Don't let this happen to you. Its a lonely life. But I never took him back either. Someone that could do that to another person did not deserve me NOR you.
2006-12-21 21:37:56 · answer #2 · answered by Marilyn M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you,first work on yourself,stop drinking,and smoking
that only dulls the pain,and when you're not smoking and drinking the pain is still there,I've been there,done that,it really hurts when you know your spouse has cheated on you,if she left you for another man,take one day at a time, and accept it,move on
find someone who wants you,loves you and respects you,
don't be a doormat for anyone,divorce her, and get on with your life,your wife has you on a emotional rollercoaster if she wanted you she wouldn't be with another man,pull yourself together,
I wish you luck , remember time has a way of healing everything
2006-12-21 21:47:05 · answer #3 · answered by msalb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let yourself feel sad, you'll get through it. Don't bottle it up cuz it could resurface later. Drinking doesn't really help, but everyone has their way of dealing with things. I can relate to you. Know that you're not alone. Good luck and try and have a happy and safe holiday. I wish you the best.
2006-12-21 21:11:20 · answer #4 · answered by water.bratz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop drinking, stop chain smoking and listening to anything sad. You can survive, you will survive, and you will be stronger because of it. Get on with your life - Happiness is where you find it!
2006-12-21 21:11:12 · answer #5 · answered by NAN G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you sober up enough to understand, you will be glad to get out of that marriage and away from her. Lets face it, who wants someone if they can't be trusted? You deserve so much better than that.
Right now you are thinking of all the good times you have had with your wife. How about thinking about all the bad times? Didn't you have fights? What about? Think about those and get angry-not hurt and lost. You need anger to give you the strength to walk away from her cheating behind and divorce her.
2006-12-21 21:19:37 · answer #6 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if you're even thinking of doing anything rash, call someone to watch over you. Second, there's not much you can do, really. But I've been there--twice now--and trust me, life has a way of working itself out. Just trust that you're the better person here, and that if it didn't happen now it was bound to happen later. So be thankful you didn't waste any more of your life with someone who doesn;t apparently want to be with you.
2006-12-21 21:10:57 · answer #7 · answered by KEN 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you're drunk tonight just do this for now
POUR THE LIQUOR DOWN THE DRAIN
GO TO BED
When we find we have dug ourselves into a hole we need to stop digging. You can figure out how to get out later. For now - quit digging.
You are just making things worse tonight. Stop the self defeating crap and sleep it off, honey.
2006-12-21 21:37:24 · answer #8 · answered by outdone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off drinking doesn't help it worsens the situation. Seeking counseling would be the best thing for you to do. The reason, classic signs of depression. It wont make it go away but it will help you deal with your circumstances.
2006-12-21 21:11:07 · answer #9 · answered by barbara b 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Either forgive her or get rid of her and find another love of your life there are more out there...
2006-12-21 21:12:02 · answer #10 · answered by Grandma of six 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋