this goes along with the question i asked earlier.my new husband has a long past with a old gf,every 6-7 yrs they hook-up for awhile then brake-up.this has been going on for 20yrs as they have always lived in the same town.now i just found out she has contacted him again,my husband does not know i know this.my question is what is the attaction with this girl?yes they hook-up but it never lasts.i know sex plays a big role but my husband has hidden away a folder of pics,letters,cards ect.from her,it looks like he has saved everything she ever gave him so thier relationship must be deeper than just good sex.if he has such great memories with her why not stay with her?i like to here whats eveyones take is on this
2006-12-21 12:49:55 · 18 answers · asked by stacybushway0978 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why don't you ask him? If as you say he's kept all the old photos, letters, cards etc. it does sound like it was more than sex. I don't want to sound cruel, but perhaps he does love her - but knows in his heart it would never work - so he moved on.
Surely there must be someone from your past, that you still love to this day? I don't mean in love - I mean still love and care about.
My ex, (from 20 years ago) contacted me two years ago. Our relationship had been very volatile. It was lovely to catch up again. Thankfully we didn't meet. We're both married and love the partners we're with now. but I've got to say, it was lovely to think that my first love, really did love me.
2006-12-21 13:04:16 · answer #1 · answered by Agony Aunt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There must be some sort of a unfulfilled thing there but after so long they can't put up with each other so they split.Then after time goes by they try it again and it's not going to end unless you demand (RIGHTFULLY SO) that he decide who is more important to him you or his on and off affair.There are deep emotionally problems here and he has the best of both worlds.He has a wife and another woman on the side.PERSONALLY I THINK THAT YOU ARE A FOOL FOR ALLOWING IT. HE'S LEGALLY MARRIED TO YOU AND STILL SCREWING AROUND LIKE HE'S SINGLE.DO WHAT YOU WANT IT'S YOUR LIFE BUT IF IT WAS ME I WOULD BE THREATENING HIM WITH A COSTLY NASTY DIVORCE.JUST REMEMBER WHAT HE IS DOING IS !!!!ADULTERY!!!!.Though I personally think that your marriage is built on very shaky ground and maybe divorcing him may be your best move as any judge would give you whatever you wanted from the marriage after hearing what your husband is doing.
2006-12-21 13:09:02 · answer #2 · answered by hjbergel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the sex. Period. (IMO, of course...) The sex is great, and... Why do they keep breaking up? 'Cause they can't STAND each other's company! But they connect on a sexual level. Some of the best sex I've ever had is with women I can't stand to be around for long periods of time. One might not have much of a mind ---or we just differ on very basic things--- and another might have a grating, nasal voice that I can't even bear to listen to for 5 minutes. But the sex could still be stellar! (As a side note... I think some of the "best" sex partners are often not entirely stable. Look at John and Lorena Bobbitt; I'd bet the farm they had outrageous sex. But she was a whack-job and sheared his wee-wee off. You take THAT kinda passion and instablility and unleash it in bed and you'll see stars in the back of your skull when your eyes flip upside-down!) :-)
2006-12-21 13:08:09 · answer #3 · answered by SkyDotCom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has to be the SEX because they obviously can not get along to stay together. If the girl was great in the sake that's what the guy will think about first when he is looking at her pictures or talking to her, before all the bad things like that she was a nut case. So hes not thinking with his brain when he looks at those pictures he thinks about the sex with her. So he needs to throw away those pictures and you need to confront him about all this stuff and find out how he feels.
2006-12-21 13:07:14 · answer #4 · answered by tomos h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing more than having sex with the old flame, and knowing that you can score at anytime is the challenge, and saving the souveniors of panties, pictures, and etc.
They probably had anything goes in their sexual encounter, and that's is why he is so pu##ywhip, that he knows, that everytime, will be mindblowing sex, that he likes!
For you, you need to really learn and the know how to keep the spice up in the bedroom, and make sure that anything goes with you, that you are gained to meet his deepest sexual desires!
Just a thought!
2006-12-21 13:01:16 · answer #5 · answered by ourjacobdavid 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men and women share a bond if they hooked up very young, before their adult principles are formed and adopted.
Whenever they feel like 'correcting' their lives they find it easier to go back to an earlier point in time. Your hubby and the old G/F are doing this.
It is similar to visiting the old neighborhood - you recall things that were discovered there, but after a while you lose interest again and move on.
2006-12-21 12:54:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I know I am a woman but I could not resist. He does not have a problem you do honey because you are still with him being the fact that he is devoted to this woman. Time to step out or step in. Either break up with him or tell him or give him an ultimatum..........Good Luck
2006-12-21 13:40:57 · answer #7 · answered by Madelyn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well its because they have a long past together people like that that been on and off for 20 years have history and they both probably know each othere better than they know themselves so thats why its hard for him to let go of the past also as well as her but since you married to him i guess she will kinda put a restrant on the old relationship
2006-12-21 14:03:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From similar experiences. I'm a female but I believe a guy does do this because he loves two people. He doesn't want to see either of you with a different man. Also, its probably the excitement of having two lives with two different women, he likes both of you for different, different reasons. But this doesn't make it right. I don't think you should stand for it.
2006-12-21 12:53:36 · answer #9 · answered by StyleDiva 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
And you are still married? WTF?
Anyways, he may love hooking up, getting some strange. A break in the rut, or monotonous day to day life stuff.
Teach him a lesson,,,,, come hook up with me for a day,,,, pay backs a ***** and i bet he would not like that.
2006-12-21 12:53:08 · answer #10 · answered by scott in minnesota 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋