Can I change for my husband?

Question

Here is the deal: I've been married for a year and my relationship is 4+ years long. I've been selfish, self-center, mean and arrogant which has pushed away my husband, who I LOVE very much. In general, we have had a rough relationship since the beginning and he has changed a lot but I haven't. I just realized how BLIND I have been and I'd like to change my ways, not only for him but to be Happy as well. The BAD part is that he said that he quit and he doesn't want to try anymore. I know it took a long time for me to realized how I have been. Do WE still have a chance? Can I change? I think so, but I just want to know if someone have been where I am, how it worked out?

Answer 1

well all i can say to you is that you can change and yes both of you have to stay balance the most important thing you need to remember is that you and him must be submissive to each other in order for the relationship to work. He change for you so you had to do the same for him yes you can still change but you need to tell him to help you by telling him to let you know when you are being self centered. i believe you can get him back if you tell him that you need just one more chance and you can prove how good you can be and just tell him that you love him very much and you don't want to live without him again tell him to give you just one more chance and when you get that chance again you better put you all into it

Answer 2

I hate to rain on ur parade but I am not 100% sure that it will work. If u have been a certain way for four years or more and he has changed, why should he give u a chance now? This is real life so we have to think about reality, basically u have mistreated him for a long time and it sounds like he is just fed up and can't deal with it anymore. Don't get the wrong idea, I am not saying don't try but u have to do it quick, like yesterday. U need to make him see that u do want ur relationship to work and that u know he has dealt with alot but changes will be made. The only problem is that it did take u a long time to see ur wrong, but u have noticed it. Talk to him and let him know that u should be able to work through anything.

Answer 3

Couples counseling would be a good idea. You have been in a relationship with this man for 4+ years and he just now is realizing you are supposedly selfish, self-centered, mean and arrogant and he wants you to change? I'm not saying that change isn't good or is bad, it's that both of you need to work on this issue

Marriage is a two way street, sometimes he needs to give 125% and sometimes you need to give 125% and most of the time both of you need to give 125%

Something not enough people think about going into marriage is that when you fall in love with someone it should be for who they are, not who you think they should be. It works for my husband and I and we have been together 30+ years.

Answer 4

I haven't been in that situation but you can change if you really want to. If he's worth it for you to change and it sounds like you should. The person you say you are isn't a good one. If you weren't a selfish, self-center, mean and arrogant person when he met you then that's not the woman he fell in love with. You need to find her and bring her back. I'm sure once he sees the change in you he'll want you back but don't do it for him, do it for yourself. You can change if you really want to but if for some reason you do chance and he doesn't want you back then you and him aren't meant to be and you can find someone else. I'm not saying that he won't which I hope he does. I believe that people can change for the good and you can change back to the person you where when you and him met. I hope you will. Good luck! I hope it works out for you.

Answer 5

Actually I agree with 2good4hem on the first part (not 100% sure it will work). Change yourself for yourself and move on. You might find it easier to 'start fresh' with the new you and keep it that way. Maybe he has already given you lots of chances through the years and you didn't prove yourself so he's tired now... My guess is, if he's really tired, it probably won't work out even if you're back together.

Answer 6

Anything is possible. As long as the two of you are in the same house and not yet divorced you have a chance. So, just begin now by changing. You can change anything about yourself that you choose. However make the changes for yourself, not for him, but because you don't like who you are. Good luck to you and God bless****

Answer 7

I think it's wonderful that you want to change and not focus on his fauls anymore , but it may be to late. Sometimes when you realize to late you have been an *** no offence the other partner has had enough. If you telll himm you are going to change and things will be different he may forgive and forget but if he has to much pain he may pass. Pray and ask God for wisdom to help you get your marriage back on track keep hope alive been there done that. God bless you.He will be watching so be careful and be real

Answer 8

You know what? You should ask him exactly what you've asked us - because it sounds very honest, open, sweet and cards on the table.

It's good that you have spotted the errors of your ways and it sounds like you really love him! If you showed him your question, he would learn more about your honest and beautiful side that you can't normally share with him perhaps because of pride. I might be wrong! It's up to you at the end of the day.

Answer 9

If you are sincere and really willing to do what you say then you have a chance, I went for counseling to help me get over being a jealous posessive nut and we've made it 32 yrs

Answer 10

Yes, you can change..
And you need to convince him that you can and will change, he
only needs to give you a chance..
You can't change all at once and there may be minor set backs
but he can see in time that you are working at it and you are changing...
He should give you a chance..
You deserve it...