Pls advise on this marriage......i need help?

Question

I wanna walk away from all this problems as I m gettign very sick thinking about my husband activities. He behaves like he is the oerfect life partner for me but he is always cheating me and sleeping wth different women.I m willign to forgive him in a case he is having an affair wth one woman, perhaps he likes her. But now that, its just for fun wth different partners.Bcoz of this, i hv become a very moody and heart stones person. I cant imagine sleeping wth him and beign wth him....Have confronted him as I have so many evidances that support of wat he is doing but he denies and turn around saying I m not a good wife.
I m not taking any action as I m worries about both families.
What shall I do?stay in this marriage bcoz of family or just walk away from his life and dont let my life destroy bcoz of him....plus I dont have any kids and married for 3 years.
Pls i seriously need help

Answer 1

Dear child you question itself is your answer. You don't want to continue with him because of his adulterous nature & its a fit ground for you to seek Divorce from him & as you yourself say you have enough evidence to these charges nothing can prevent you to get decree of divorce. As far as your action you worry for both the families I will say this should not be preventing you from getting divorce from him you are still young & can get married again to a suitable person more over you dont have any issue(child) from your first marriage that will be a problem in your remarriage as is seen in Indian society i will suggest forget this person move a divorce petition & solve your problem once for all.

Answer 2

Dear lady u sure are in a problem. A marriage can work only if both husband and wife contribute to it and have trust in each other. In ur case it seems that u dont trust ur partner cuz u have apparently definite proof of his filanderous behaviour. It is great on your part that you were ready to forgive his one affair if he was in love with someone. One has to have a great heart for it lady and if u r so kind hearted then u dont deserve this kind of a partner - rather he does not deserve you.
You talk of reputation of family. that is again a very nice thought. by the way have u told the family about his behaviour? if you have not done so yet, do it pronto and let the family put some sense in his fat head. In case they do nothing, then it will be clear that ur caring for the family is also meaningless. What do u owe to a family which can not support you in this situation. If that is the attitude of the family, then i must say they dont deserve u as a daughter in law.
The best way would be (assuming that you have given him enough time and a patience hearing for it as ur post suggests) to get rid of this pest. You dont have to waste your life for an unfaithful partner. Having no kids yet is a blessing in disguise.
Hey dont just walk out quitely- make him pay for what he has done to you. Seak a legal separation on grounds of infidelity and ask for not only what u brought to him at the time of wedding but also maintenance for you till you settle down afresh with some better person.
Make him not only realise what a lowly person he is but also make him suffer for it. Good luck dear brave lady.

Answer 3

I feel you there. My dear, sometimes it's just best to let go, especially when you know that you have given it your all. If you know for sure that he is sleeping with other women, let him go. Familys will always be family. And what they need to realize is the divorce is not your fault. Your husband gives you the "guilt trip" by saying you're not a good wife? How dare him say that. He sounds like he wants the "cake and ice cream" at the same time. It's a good thing that you don't have kids. Make sure you leave his "sorry loser a*s" before you end up pregnant. 3 years of marriage is so early on into your future. If he's already cheating then, most likely it's not going to work. A hardcore cheater will never change. Good luck my dear.

Answer 4

OMG girl. He is trying to make you feel guilty by telling you that you are not a good wife so he can go out and "play" with these other woman. Never mind how much it hurts you and causes problems with how you feel about yourself or him, he may be bringing home STD's. How do you know he is not. And, a man will never tell you the truth about cheating once he has cheated and told you. Worrying about the families of both people is normal but you need to be happy and not be the person you don't want to be. Thank god you don't have children. You deserve better. He is not going to stop if it's been multiple women in the past.

Answer 5

Well well well, quite a serious problem... see dear, may b u love him a lot thats y uve been tolerating this kind of behaviour else there are hardly any woman who would stick to such guy who sleeps with other woman behind her back.. so what u can do is just talk to him .. whats not happeneing between u and him.. if anything is wrong ask him to tell u openly b4 it gets too late. and if he is actually nt interested in u.. then i guess 3 yrs is quite some time to deliver everything that u have.. so probly its time to move on .. and find a new person who could b a trustwrothy person to u.. but ultimately its going to be ur own decision.. just be careful in whatever u do.. hope it helps u.. take care..
Deeps

Answer 6

U Think u can stay with himeven after knowing all this things about him?? Well if u think yes then let me be hard on u, u r thinking absolutely wrong. B'cos thats is Human tendency once what kind of Mind set we have for a person, that thought about that person hardly changes from our mind set. Frankly speaking today we are in 21st century, stop thinking that U'll spoil ur parents life, parents will be happy that u came out of this **** guys life & remember for everything there is New start, so u can surely Re-marry & remember Marriage is not everything in Life. When U were born u were Alone & when U'll Die u'll be alone, so don't think that life can't be lived alone. Infact instead of living with such a person its better to live life all alone. Sorry if I'm wrong or hurt u in any ways.

Answer 7

Dear Lady, a marriage is mainly an alliance where we look at each other as equals. There can never be a dominant partner in a relationship or else it will fail. I don’t know the other side of the story but feel you are on the right side of the fence but unfortunately faced with a very sickening situation. My advice to you is don’t get emotional as women normally tend to under similar circumstances, irrespective of anything that people around you may say or your husband may say, just walk out. You have a long way to go, your family will definitely stand by your side and I’m sure you do have supportive friends.
Damn the world that does not understand your plight and stands by you. Just be careful about one thing.. you will face a lot of sneers and leers but I’m sure you are strong enough to take all that in your stride, also make sure you are in a position to take care of yourself financially in the aftermath as this is one reason ladies cannot take the right decision... Rest leave to destiny all will be fine if you believe in yourself. Just go out there and enjoy yourself. You are too precious to waste your life on such useless beings; there is definitely someone else out there who deserves you. God bless and Best of luck. Need to get in tuch? Mail me at "[e-mail]"

Answer 8

I dont understand what's stopping you! your husband thinks you are not good enough for him then let him go and find some one forhimself and let you live in pease. yousay you have evidence to prove that your husband has been cheating you. i suggest you start off by taking up a job and move out to stay on your own whan you can arrange finance for it. then when you are ready show all the evidence you have to both the families, yors and his. dont ask them what you should do. just tell them yopu have decieded to walk off. dont allow any one to change your mind because they are scared of what the society would think. keep all the eveidence you have at a safe place, preferably with a lawyer. This will help you dal with thngs the way you want. just tell your husband that there is no chance of a compromise and that he is free to live his life the way he wants and he should let you live yours the way you want to.

just remember one thing. no matter what your familysays no matter if you husband omes back and pleads for your mersy . DONT GO BACK TO HIM. he has slept with multiple partners. he could be a walking warehouse of AIDS amd other sexually transmitted deseases! it now he has spoilt your emotional health. but if ypu sleep with him he might ruin your life completely!

All the best!

Answer 9

If you have evidence walk away. He wants to be able to do as he pleases and walk on you. Good wives talk about things,and have open communication,however he wants to twist the definition of a good way and distort. Tell him,"oh I'm sorry but yes I don't mind hanging out your dirty laundry".
You should divorce him,forgiveness can only be given if the person is honestly sorry for what they have done and he doesn't sound it. Your heart is probably willing to be done and over with the marriage and since that may be the case now is the right time to do it to spare possible "regret" in the decision.

Answer 10

Now this is the problem with mans once they got married. They forgot that there is a woman in their life which they need to take care off.

I am very concern on what had happened to you. Alright, since you dun have any kids yet, it won't take much time for you to leave him. But, leaving him is not the solution for this problem as this is seriously something to do with his behavior. I suggest to bring him to a psychiatrist for consultation purpose. From what i can see, i feel he has no respect towards woman's including their feelings. Anyway, give him a chance. He must realize that he has a mother who is also a woman and perhaps sisters who are also woman. Try to help him out so that he can change his behavior and thinking that he have towards woman's.

I know its hard to accept this man kind of a man back in your life. If you really can't, its not worth it to stay with this man. Find a job for yourself so that you can support yourself without depending on anyone including your parents. Go ahead and find another man who really cares for you and respect you. Its not too late, you still don't have kids yet. Dun rely on this ****ing man.