I have two older brothers who each have girlfriends, one has a kid(7) but he's not my brothers kid. Anyways, they've each been going with them for maybe just now 2 years. And I have a boyfriend we'll be going out for 6 months this Jan. I had to do all my christmas shopping and everything by myself for him and spend all my money doing so, my parents didn't even buy him one thing or chip in with me (they normally will do this with one of my brothers). Not even a small thing. But then they bought my brothers girlfriends gifts, and that kid a gift. Isn't this wrong? And this Christmas one of the girlfriends won't even be here at the house! I just feel a little jipped, or is there some unspoken rule about this thing.
2006-12-21 11:23:10 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Christmas
Well i'm 17, he's 19 but we were best friends for a year so we have history other than dating. My oldest brother is a lot older (25), but the other one is 22 and his girlfriend is younger than my boyfriend she's also 19. And they've broken up numerous times. That's why I also got offended by this. I'll probably talk to my mom tonight.
2006-12-21 11:35:34 · update #1
I am also a parent and I agree with grbarnaba.
There should be no discrimination, whatever the age of the boyfriends/girlfriends. If you buy a present to one you HAVE to buy a present for the rest or to NOBODY at all.
I have been there as a mother and that was my rule. I would buy a present for everybody, after all is Christmas.
2006-12-21 13:20:23 · answer #1 · answered by Martha P 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
At 21 the he/she is considered an adult, with all that comes with that level of maturity. As an adult you learn to respect others space, possessions, privacy, values,etc. That includes what was once the child's home, that is now his/her parent's home. The rules and restrictions laid down need to be respected. The fact that the parent(s) are paying household bills, keeping up repairs, routine maintenance, etc., is enough said, Only they are, in turn held responsible for their home and their security. They have learned to respect and appreciate what they worked hard to accomplish through the years, and that is something that younger adults come to discover in time. If the 21 year old is not willing to acknowledge and respect the homeowners rules and restrictions, he or she is ready to face a new level of maturity. Getting out on their own and finding out just what goes into respect for themselves and others. The next stage in life=Independence and all that this new teaching involves.
2016-05-23 08:06:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A gift comes from the heart and follows no rules. If there's no gift, perhaps your parents don't feel a connection (yet) with your bf. It's not about you versus your brothers. Relax. This is nothing that needs to be discussed with your parents. If you can, make Christmas a time when your parents and bf can come to know and appreciate each other - wouldn't that be a good gift all the way around?
2006-12-21 11:35:44 · answer #3 · answered by mattzcoz 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It does seem a bit unfair that your parents are not honoring your boy friend in some manner. Maybe they view your brothers' relationships as more long-standing and the girls as being a part of your family. Let's be fair - a 2 year relationship with someone gives the whole family time to get to know the person. Have you and your boy friend made an effort to spend time with your family members? Do they know him as a whole person or just as a relatively new boy friend to you? Have you talked to them about your feelings? I know little of what I said helps - but it maybe is something to think about.
2006-12-21 11:40:02 · answer #4 · answered by islandsage1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a Parent myself,yes I feel you were done wrong by your Parents,they should NOT have gotten things for the girlfriends,the son of one of them without buying for your boyfriend as well. That is NOT right. I would try to sit them down and discuss this with them and ask why they did what they did. If you feel it will help,show them this answer. You are most correct that this is just plain WRONG on their part. As far as this Parent knows there is NO unspoken rule of this kind of behavior. I am disappointed in your Parents. I want to commend you on doing it all yourself,that is great. Merry Christmas and hope things work for you and your boyfriend and he doesn't get his feelings hurt by your Parents being like they are.
2006-12-21 11:28:46 · answer #5 · answered by grbarnaba 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There's many rules, and they aren't wrong. If your parents wanted to buy your bf a gift, it would be wrong of you to take credit. He'll like it better knowing what you went through for him, rather than just asking Daddy for some cash. You'll see. Six months isn't as long to adults as it is to teenagers either. Give it a little time, and by next christmas I'll bet they come around. Merry Christmas!
2006-12-21 11:28:26 · answer #6 · answered by Beardog 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your parents don't think the relationship between the two of you will last so they don't want to get him a gift.
How long have your brothers been with their girlfriends and how old are you and your siblings? If you're in your teens or early twenties that could exacerbate their feelings that your current relationship is only temporal.
2006-12-21 11:28:29 · answer #7 · answered by sprydle 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hello Dear... =)
In my family there is an "unspoken rule"..yes......
You buy for the "significant others" of adult children, but not for those of minor children.
So, if your brothers are over 18, but you are not, that could be the reason.
If you, however, are over 18, then your parents are being rude to your boyfriend. Perhaps they don't like him much??
Namaste,
--Tom
2006-12-21 11:28:49 · answer #8 · answered by glassnegman 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
In my experience, it is because the parents normally seem to dislike the boyfriend of a daughter to some degree. It may also be because you are younger (i assume by your picture you are younger) and younger people tend to have more unstable/ short-lived relationships.
2006-12-21 11:38:27 · answer #9 · answered by obsessive_writer 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why don't you ask your parents? Perhaps it's because the brothers are older and it's assumed their relationships are more serious? Not knowing your or your bfs age, that may not be an accurate guess.
2006-12-21 11:27:30 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋