joe dated this girl sue in high school on and off,it was his first gf.then they hooked up again for a few months when he was in his mid 20s.sue contacted him again when he was about 31yrs,he ended up leaving his 1st wife and child for her but it only lasted a few months then he broke-up with sue.the problem is i just found out sue has been contacting joe on his my space accout and he has been sneaky about it.nothing really bad has been said from ether one but u can tell the intereat is still there with her.i also know he still has feelings for her as one day when i was cleaning his desk i found hidden a folder of pics,letters,cards that she has given him over the yrs.they have had a relationship on and off for over 20yrs,if she means so much to him why does he keep braking up with her?but then again he keeps going back to her whenever she contacts him.it seams like every 6-7yrs they hookup which is easy since she lives in the same town as us.
2006-12-21 11:18:29 · 14 answers · asked by stacybushway0978 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should be worried.
2006-12-21 13:00:16 · answer #1 · answered by Daiquiri Dream 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i would be very worried, as it sounds as if sue is looking to be in a relationship again with him, and he is being a little secretive about it, which would really worry me. really bad since she lives in the same town and could see him easily. sit down and confront him with what u found and simply tell him how much this hurts u, and that u do not want him to see or communicate with her again. tell him that u are the one he made a commitment to not her. if she broke up his first marriage where there was a child involved, than it appears he is still in love with her, and hasn't learned his lesson. set boundaries, make it clear what will happen if he sees her or communicates again, than u must be ready to stand up for yourself and follow through even if it means a separation. he keeps breaking up with her and than reuniting because he has never gotten over her, they have a past, and it is familiar to him. he should have been more honest with you before u married him, and told u about her. some people are just homewrecker's and stay around just long enough to destroy someones marriage before moving on.
2006-12-21 19:29:33 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, sounds like you should be worried. Not all people we feel strong attraction to are compatible with us as long-term partners. Often, people we are madly attracted to, and people we end up marrying, are not the same people. Attraction may be like a drug in some way; we get drunk every once in a while, but for the most part we wouldn't want to spend our whole lives in an alcohol-induced daze. It is an escape, is all. And an escape by definition does not last, it is only attractive when it contrasts with the mundane reality.
2006-12-21 19:24:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
high school love. I think there are always going to be feeling there between them........say something very nice and polite about how u are feeling about this. The only thing I would worry about is if he left his 1st wife for her once before, what is to say that he won't do it again???? Sorry but I think if I were in ur shoes I would be worried.
2006-12-21 19:25:04 · answer #4 · answered by bambii_27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be honest with him and ask him. Chances are, if you allow him to share that part of his life with you, even if it's hard to hear, you will make your bond with him that much stronger. It's not fair to ask him to give up years of feelings. I have former boyfriends who I have still good, fond feelings for. My husband knows them, likes them and is not jealous. I wouldn't betray that kind of trust for anything in the world. I say invite her over and invite her into your life. If she ends up being your friend, and she's any kind of person, she'll respect you for that alone. Make yourself a real person to her. Bet you'll be surprised how far non-jealousy takes you.
2006-12-21 19:23:31 · answer #5 · answered by jzmn2btrfly121 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what is sounds like you should worry but don't say anything until you no for a fact that he's going to leave you for her and just tell him if he wants her so bad just stay with her and if he said no he don't tell him to chose between you or her thats all I can tell you at the moment
2006-12-21 19:25:36 · answer #6 · answered by Chevy Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you`ve got man troubles.I would let him know up front, that i wouldn`t stand for any of his ,"just friends", bologna,and if he dont cut it out right away, save yourself alot of heartache,and dump him,NOW!
2006-12-21 19:30:53 · answer #7 · answered by sitwithus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two things...keep him satisfied and then don't worry unless you catch him in your bed with Sue.
2006-12-21 19:20:48 · answer #8 · answered by IGH3Rat 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yea i would be worried if i were you.. you need to tell him what you found and just talk to him about it as soon as possible
2006-12-21 19:43:54 · answer #9 · answered by mindi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move. Confront him about this. You deserve to be with someone better!! You dont need to put up with this.
2006-12-21 19:21:39 · answer #10 · answered by g00dapple 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow.... i think you should really think hard about it. then you should definately express your concern to Joe. im not sure what else to say.
good luck,
2006-12-21 19:37:31 · answer #11 · answered by been there done that.. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋