I'm on the varsity bowling team, and I'm the only freshman besides another kid. The other kid is basically my best friend on the team, and the rest of my friends always talk bad about him behind his back, saying "Oh no, ________ is here. He's so annoying, etc, etc." Same thing with another one of my friends who is a sophmore. I'm really good friends with the kids who are saying this behind his back. What do I do? I want to stick up for him and stuff, but I don't want to lose all of my other friends.
2006-12-21 11:08:35 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
He's not annoying, he just talks in a high-pitched voice.
2006-12-21 11:11:17 · update #1
i would love to say stuff full of virtues and stuff like "stick up for him!" but for real, what i would probably do myself is just go with the flow.
2006-12-21 11:11:39 · answer #1 · answered by cabeachbabe728 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
When they start up, just say "hey, he's a good guy, lay off." You don't need to explain yourself or try to come up with reasons they should like your friend. But friends respect each others' friends. You have obviously found something to enjoy about each of your friends, so don't be afraid to let the people around you know your positive opinions of the people you care about.
Your friend may never find out that you're sticking up for him and the folks doing the talking may never get the idea that you've been upset by their chatter... but it doesn't matter. Eventually some of the smarter folks in this group will realize that you stuck up for your friend when everyone else was making fun of him, and that probably means that you have the backs of all your friends, them included. It's not a bad reputation to have!
2006-12-21 11:17:47 · answer #2 · answered by pmosiejc 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so proud of you for not falling into that trap of agreeing with others about this person. Good for you. You are the bigger person. Just say, oh I'm sorry you feel that way, I think he or she is such a good person. I don't find them annoying. Two things will happen here, you will win their respect for having an opinion of your own and that you will not say anything bad about anyone. I would not worry about losing someones friendship. If this person talks behind one persons back they will talk behind your back as well. Do you really want to be friends with someone like that?
2006-12-21 11:34:38 · answer #3 · answered by sunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, remember that the kids who are talking bad about other people are talking bad about you. just be careful with that.
if your friend who is getting talked about is a genuinely nice person, then you've gotta stick up for him!
you don't have to start a whole argument to get your point across, and you don't even have to say anything about what they've been saying. just changing the subject is enough to show that you respect you friend when he isn't around. that always seems to work, and then it takes pressure off you from having to listen to it, and its a good way of keeping them as your friends and standing up for your best friend. good luck!
2006-12-21 11:29:41 · answer #4 · answered by john_deeregirl07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your friends can not accept the fact that you are you and you have other friends even if they don't like them then they aren't friends. What i would do is stick up for him by saying something like 'I wish that you would stop making fun of ______ because he is a REALLY good friend and if you cant accept that then you are not really my friends because if you are TRUE friends then you would not care about who else i hang out with.' If they ditch you don't go after them and say you were kidding...sure you might get ridiculed but people that don't really care about other peoples feelings are not worth hanging out with.
2006-12-21 11:17:31 · answer #5 · answered by thatonegirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is hard because you want to fit in and not offend those people that are saying it but u also want to be the friend to the one that it is being done to. In my case I am a very out spoken person. If I see that u are saying something rude about someone I hang' with then I say something. I guess you have to decide if u are a true friend to this person that is being spoken bad about or not. If you are then say something. That the best I can say.
2006-12-21 11:13:54 · answer #6 · answered by bambii_27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could tell your "annoying" friend not to talk that loud. And you could tell your "other" friends not to talk badly about him.
Don't be biased. If you don't stick up to your "annoying" friend just because he's "just one person" compared to the rest of your friends that you value, then it's better that you lose him, because then you weren't considering/treating him as one of your friends in the first place after all.
2006-12-21 11:20:51 · answer #7 · answered by inthemaking 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmmmmm a dillema for sure. Is this kid a good friend? Because if so, I think you should stick up for him. Truely good friends are very hard to come by. You should be a good friend to him and when the other kids say.........blah blah blah......you should remark on one of his good qualities. Like...Well, I think he's really funny, or smart, or.....Well, he's always been a good friend to me....I hope he overlooks my annoying habits.
2006-12-21 11:13:09 · answer #8 · answered by yakimaniacs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well that would be really hard, i'v had that experiance so many times!
i know it must be hard and every thing but if the guy they are mocking is your friend you should stick up for him; and even if the other guys hate you for it in the end they if they are really you're friends they'll be fine with it
2006-12-21 11:13:42 · answer #9 · answered by charlotte d 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just say "we're all one team so show them the same respect you show me". You'll never get along as a team with that attitude.
2006-12-21 11:13:46 · answer #10 · answered by gav_obrien 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Say something to the affect of " guys you shouldn't talk badly about people, you wouldn't want them saying the same thing about you"
2006-12-21 11:10:05 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋