I've been divorced for almost 3 years now. My kids live with me. Since the divorce my kids do not give the artwork and gifts that they make at school to me. They give it all to their Dad. It really hurts my feelings. Is this normal? Or do my kids hate me? :(
2006-12-21 10:35:02 · 18 answers · asked by lilmisstickletoo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's because their dad is seen as "Super Dad" because he isn't there for the punishings, the bedtimes, and the "NO!"'s. He's only there for the good times (probably on the weekends) for zoo trips, Six Flags visits - the fun stuff. I guarantee you that if they lived with him 24/7 then you would be getting the artwork and poems.
When they grow up they will realize how much you did for them and you will get all the attention then. Just be patient. :)
2006-12-21 10:36:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's normal. Kids are giving the artwork to their dad only bcs they do not live with him and think he needs it more than you. Don't take it personally. They love you and definitely don't hate you.
2006-12-21 18:56:41 · answer #2 · answered by Andrea D. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps the reason they give it to their dad is because they are actually seeking his love and praise. They know they automatically get that from you, they don't have to test that. It's their dad that left the home and they will always question his love for them. Don't be hurt by them not giving you their artwork. Take it for what it is: They know you love them, they don't need to try to win it from you. Besides, it's a lot less clutter for you. Love your kids, love them with all your heart.
2006-12-21 19:31:45 · answer #3 · answered by Goddess 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Crap. Yeah, I don't imagine it feels good. I DOUBT that your kids hate you. If they're still doing art work, it means they're young. They won't start to get resentful, bitter, obstinate (okay, maybe they're already obstinate) until they get a bit older.
It could be that they're trying for dad's affection. It could be that they see you all week and want something for dad for the weekend so he knows they miss him. Kids feel guilty about divorce, about how their parents feel about their ex's.
The best thing you can do is talk their dad up (or at least NEVER talk bad about him), be as loving as you can to them spending good time with them and letting you know you love and are proud of them. It will pay off in the long run.
2006-12-21 18:43:02 · answer #4 · answered by Portence Blitherschnork 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They dont hate you and you shouldnt be hurt because he isnt a stranger he is their daddy. The art work is probably given to dad simply because they dont see him and they miss him. Its a way of letting their dad know that even though they are away from him they still think about him. They probably just figure that they are with you everyday and see you all the time that they can show you they love you in a different way.. dont take it personally but give your kids props and kudos for thinking of their dad too :)
2006-12-21 18:38:38 · answer #5 · answered by ahuga 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
They give their artwork to Dad, but they give their lives to you by living with you. God bless them. When they go to sleep tonight, go peek on them. There is nothing more beautiful in the world than a child who is sleeping peacefully, and you have that beauty in your house every single night. Their artwork on the wall does not compare.
2006-12-21 18:46:48 · answer #6 · answered by adamsjrcn 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
We have a his, mine and ours family. My step-daughter makes me things all the time and then gives them to her mom. At first I felt a little jilted by it, never showing her or saying anything. She would say I think I would really like to give this to my mom... I would just tell her that would be very nice. As time went on I realized its not because she doesn't love me, she likes that little bit of sparkle in mom's eyes that says this is great. She doesn't see her mom much and that little bit of "extra" attention is something she needs. I get to see all the other things, when she masters something, learns something new, and I get to see all these things she makes first.
2006-12-21 22:12:31 · answer #7 · answered by dustbucket40 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u r right to feel hurt. is there a m-in-law involved? when my daughter got divorced, his mother was always there like a dirty shirt and making the child promise that she or daddy would get the awards, drawings,etc.
how we solved the problem, was to ask the child beforehand.
go to ur the kid and just outright ask if u can have the next drawing and let them know how much u miss getting their work
good luck
2006-12-21 18:40:15 · answer #8 · answered by Nora G 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, they don't hate you. Tell them how beautiful their artwork is and can they please make some for mommy?
Its' great that they have a good relationship with their father. Sometimes the parent that is away is the one a child will try to please more or get the attention of.
I am sure you are a super mom and they love u to bits.
All the best
2006-12-21 18:40:04 · answer #9 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If my daughter had the choice she would probably give everything to her dad too. I hope that it is just a phase cause it is hurtful, but I don't think they do it on purpose. My daughter tells me all the time she wants to go see her daddy. It's like I have to run myself to death to make my house as fun as his. I have two girls and he still lives with his mom... lol. I don' t know why they do it but they do. I just get her backpack before she sees her dad. I don't care if she gives some things to him but I like to see it first. If I were you I would try not to let it bother you, I know I'm like the pot calling the kettle black here. I know first hand it is hard. Good luck and Happy Holidays!!
2006-12-21 18:42:06 · answer #10 · answered by dmh2105 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋