2006-12-21 09:44:49 · 16 answers · asked by mis_marshall 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
ok, i have been where you are, i had my son at 21 and was nervous enough about being a first time mum when half way through my pregnancy my partner had a lot of problems and i didn't know what was going to happen. i solely relied on him and could not work for medical reasons. i decided to stay with him but a year after i had my son i was still in the same position and had no finances and was scared of being on my own but we split for a few months (long story)
you haven't really given much detail but i will say this.....
if you love him and truly believe you can work things out then stay with him. if you cannot see yourself doing this then you need to leave, maybe you have family you can stay with? you can claim income support now if you leave him and will be entitled to housing benefit. this could be a short term solution until you can return to work. it is not easy and only you can decide what is for the best. all relationships have rough patches and shouldn't be given up on too easily. if there is violence though then get out now. things will only get worse. if there isn't and it is just a bad time then remember that although this is a very stressful and emotional time for you, he will be feeling it too. he has now got massive responsibilities and the pressure could be affecting him. think carefully before you decide to do anything, good luck and merry christmas xxxx
2006-12-21 09:55:42 · answer #1 · answered by Just Me.... 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't understand why people have to be so hostile. So what she is a young mom.? There are older women that have children that are less equipped to be mothers.
Anyway....If you were to contact social services....they go by different names in different states....in Ma they call it SMOC- south middlesex opportunity council. they have many different programs that will help you get on your feet. If your child is under five make sure you apply for WIC. They will give you vouchers for some esstential foods. contact local food pantries so you will have assistance with that. When you contact social services they will let you apply for just about everything. You can apply for section 8 which is low income housing. They will tell you to get a job and when you do you will be given vouchers for child care.
So if you choose to leave him there are a lot of resources for a single mom. You will have to do some research for whatever state you are in.
Good luck.
by the way I am 23 and have a 4 year old and a 1 year old. I never went to college and now I have a home and my own company. It's hard but you will get through it. It doesn't matter how old you are when you have your children....it just matters how much you love them and what you are willing to sacrifice to see them get what they need.
2006-12-21 10:02:20 · answer #2 · answered by crystalfaria11306 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Come on people be a little realistic now. Who is going to employ a pregnant girl? Fair enough, they are not supposed to discriminate against you for being pregnant but they would just make out that someone more qualified got the job.
Maybe you have been a little silly but its done now so whats the point off all these people telling you how bad you are and moaning on about taxes. There is actually a baby to think about here!
My suggestion is to forget about the partner for now let him sort his own problems out. Go to your local benefits office and see what you are entitled to as regards an income and housing. You can worry about getting a job after your baby has arrived, when employers see you as a suitable candidate. Do you have family that can help? if so, accept all of the help you can it makes things alot easier.
All I can say to everyone else is make your mind up. You would all be calling her a murderer if she aborted the baby so give her a chance. She has made a mistake now she is trying to solve it by asking for help. I say good luck to you, concentrate on giving birth to a healthy baby.
2006-12-21 10:03:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i left my partner when i was pregnant finished my degree at uni with a newborn baby on my own. got a job so i can give my little girl everything she wants my daughter is three now and i am in a new relationship i have been the sole provided for my baby since she was born. Im not saying its easy cause its not but i have done it and im not any1 special. do NOT be tempted to fall into this trap of living in a council house and living of hand outs. Get a job and provide for your child the rewards are far greater
2006-12-21 22:13:48 · answer #4 · answered by Jane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not say what your problems with your partner are but if there is no income then I assume that he has no job
Decision time. If he has no intension of getting a job to keep his child then trash the prat. If the tax payer is going to cover the cost of you bringing up a child then why should the same tax payers keep him as well
Do as much as you can for yourself and you gain the respect of others
2006-12-21 10:15:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how many times do we hear the words use a condom after the horse has bolted!! presume the baby is being kept and not aborted or adopted out. then you have to look at using the pregnancy time to learn as much as you can re education so that when the baby is about 1 or 2 or even when in nursery you can then look at going back to work or starting work.. Children cost a fortune, i have 5 i should know, but the more you have the harder you must work, sadly obv that's not how it always goes, but for your own self esteem and sanity, learn as much as you can so that you can go to work when you are able, that way you wont feel like your just claiming on an already over exhausted social system.
2006-12-21 09:52:33 · answer #6 · answered by suzie1968uk 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Focus everything you can - every decision, every judgment, every effort, and every potential for happiness - on the child. Do not consider yourself (or herself if you are speaking of someone else) in the equation at all. By allowing yourself (herself, etc) to get in the position of being a young mum-to-be with a problematic partner and no means to provide you have already consumed as much selfishness as is by any stretch fair to inflict on your child, so every decision from hereon in needs to be focused on rectifying this and making the best life for this child as you can in the circumstances.
That, or terminate.
2006-12-21 09:56:22 · answer #7 · answered by johninmelb 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well my advice is if ur having problems with the partner, get rid of him. i couldnt be with a guy who im having problems with, id ont want my child to deal with that. and if u have no income. try to find a job. go to a local work agency. go to monster.com and hopefully u are over 16 and can actually get a job. some places hire under 16 but its not easy. im 17 with a child and i have trouble finding work because of my age. but its not impossible. and if ur partner doesnt want to work, like i said, get rid of him, hes not worth it
2006-12-21 09:50:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
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2016-10-15 09:48:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a job or if you have one get a better job. I'm 20 and my income is the only income for my kids.
2006-12-21 09:49:33 · answer #10 · answered by Hot Mom 4 · 4⤊ 2⤋